


will wonders never cease

by labelleepoque



Series: a tale of fire and light [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Found Family, Gen, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Minor Character Death, Miscommunication, Momtara and Dadko, Protective Zuko (Avatar), War, Zuko has a son and everyone is confused, darker than canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 63,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labelleepoque/pseuds/labelleepoque
Summary: Zuko isn't good at planning. This fact was known by many, from his family to his crew, heck even the Avatar's group knew he couldn't plan well. But Zuko feels that he has been through a lot, so others should forgive him if his current plan involves only three vague steps: (1) find the Avatar (2) teach the Avatar firebending (3) kill Azula.or: when Zuko joins the gaang he is older, has a kid, and is on a quest for revenge. This changes everything and nothing.*Chapter 12 is an Author’s Note*
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Past Aang/Katara - Relationship, Past Jin/Zuko, The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: a tale of fire and light [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055453
Comments: 321
Kudos: 518





	1. prologue

**prologue** : the story of a young man or more accurately, the story of two

Zuko should love Ba Sing Se.

The city has given him a new identity, a young family, and a job.

When people look at him they do not see Prince Zuko, the banished son of Fire Lord Ozai.

They do not see Prince Zuko, a stain on an ancient dynasty. 

They do not see Prince Zuko, the boy who should have shined like the sun or an ancient star but at his best shined like a hearth. Not anyone worthy of venerating or cowering in front of. Not like his father, his sister, or his uncle. 

They see Lee, a colonial refugee.

They see Lee, the quiet nephew of Mushi, husband of Jin, and father of Jinhai.

Zu- _Lee_ one day hears from two upper-ring customers about how the Avatar has been living in Ba Sing Se for several months or more trying to get allies for the war effort. Zuko pauses and remembers a god-child, a ship, a girl with eyes as blue and clear as the sea of Ember Island, and a fight in the frozen tundra-a fight that felt more like a dance or a song, and wonders…

Zu- _Lee_ forces himself to forget about these stories. Yes, because for _Lee_ these things are just stories to talk about with customers. They don’t mean anything. They _can’t_ mean anything.

Zu- _Lee_ has learned that the city is safe, safe for those who keep their head down and mind their business. And as a 26-year-old, Zu- _Lee_ has finally learned how to mind his own business.

So Zuko should love Ba Sing Se but he doesn’t.

He hates it, a part of him hates it so much that he wants to run and try to tear down the walls between the rings.

He wants to take on the Dai Li, the thieves, and the gangs all at once.

He wants to shout out in the streets that the war will come eventually, that the walls cannot protect them forever.

He is angry that all these people believe they are safe. Even his uncle believes they are safe.

His uncle, the great Dragon of the West, the shining sun of Agni’s most favored line thought he was safe in Ba Sing Se. The very same man who many in the Earth Kingdom once regarded as the spirit of destruction, a sign of the end of days. The man who would have taken Ba Sing Se if not for the death of his son believes they are safe.

He wants to scream because he knows that his father and sister will never rest until they control the whole world. Until every man, woman, and child kneels under the banner of the Fire Nation.

But Zuko can’t, he can’t do any of those things.

So Zuko quiets these feelings, these feelings that threaten to take over him like a storm.

He does this, so _Lee_ can be happy.

 _Lee_ can spend time going to the shops to buy furniture for his new upper-ring apartment. _Lee_ can send his son to a better-funded school in a safe neighborhood. Now _Lee_ can finally buy his wife and son nice clothes instead of the second-hand clothes they usually wear. _Lee_ can sleep in his spacious apartment and dream of meadows and streams instead of fire and blood, mothers that disappear, sisters that trick and lie, and fathers that look on in scorn.

But Zuko knows things that _Lee_ doesn’t. Zuko knows that the good times only last for so long and eventually your past will catch up to you.

So, when _Lee_ opens his new apartment to find his wife and son entertaining his sister with tea and sesame cake, _Lee_ is shocked and frightened. _Lee_ wonders what spirits he angered, what tricks he played, to be given such a fate. To have his nightmares turned true by the one wearing his mother’s face. _Lee_ prays to gods that he’s not sure he believes in anymore, to spare his wife and son. To punish him for his wrongs and not them.

Now Zuko, Zuko just wonders why it took her so long to find him.


	2. the sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder of the tags of this story. They are relevant to this chapter.

**chapter one** : the sister

Azula is dressed in a simple Earth Kingdom robe. It is moss green with light accents of pink. Her inky black hair is perfectly maintained, tied in a bun with a green ribbon. She is wearing light make-up and looks healthy. Not like someone who traveled half-starved through the Earth Kingdom, not like someone who spends long days carting tea to haughty customers. Not like him.

Her face has narrowed into a heart shape, and she looks just like their mother in Zuko’s memories. But Zuko knows it is his sister because of her eyes. Her deep amber eyes have none of the love and gentleness that he found in their mother’s eyes. Azula’s eyes are like steel and when they are directed at you, it feels like she can read your every thought. No where is safe from her, not even one's own mind. 

Zuko must remain calm. He must, for his wife and his son. Maybe he won’t get out of this alive, but he has to give them a chance to escape. So Zuko smiles gently at his wife when she gets up to kiss his cheek and his son when he gives him a hug. The three of them return to the table. He takes a seat across from Azula in their apartment. The table is new, he is not quite used to sitting in it. Their old table was too short for him, his knees hit the shirt of it uncomfortably. It feels strange to sit without experiencing that sensation.

“Hello, sister. Welcome to my home.”

“Hello, brother. You can imagine my shock at finding that you had not only a beautiful wife but an adorable son.”

Zuko focuses his eyes on her, trying to gauge some sort of answer in her eyes. He finds nothing, he never did, even when they were younger, so he isn’t too surprised. He knows Azula is here for a reason and whatever that reason is, it’s not good for him or his family. He and Azula continue to stare at each other, trying to figure out the other’s next move.

Jin laughs nervously and breaks the tension.

“Lee, your sister has been here all afternoon telling me about your family. She says that your father wants you to return to Yu Dao. He wants you to be involved in the family business again. Annchi wants to take Jinhai under her wing and train him to take over her position in the company. Isn’t that great news? You can finally return home.”

Jin reaches over and squeezes his hand as Zuko’s eyes widen and his mind starts to consider what this all means.

Zuko is shocked, first that his sister was able to know the cover story he and uncle came up with to tell Jin. The same story they spent late nights going over in order to make sure that they had responses to combat Jinhai’s likely follow up questions. To make sure that everything matched up, that no one had any reason to doubt them. Second, that his Father would ever want him home. He has been banished for 13 years, he completely failed in his quest to capture the Avatar. What could his family want with him, what does he have to give them?

_Family business…father…. home…Jinhai…_

His eyes widen and he figures out what he has that his family could want. He has one thing in his life that he is proud of and it is the most precious thing to him. His heart starts to race, and blood starts to pound in his ears. He feels his anger rising, snarling and threatening to overtake him. Lee is long gone now and Zuko remains. Angry, tortured Zuko. His mind can only think of one phrase.

 _(Azula wants to take Jinhai to be her heir. Azula wants to take Jinhai to be her heir._ _Azula wants to take Jinhai to be her heir.)_

He then starts to think of questions for himself and for Azula, questions that he would ask her if he trusted her answers.

( _Where is uncle? Did she capture him? Why isn’t she married with her own heir? Why does she want my son? Did Father tell her to do this? How does she know he can firebend? Will she kill Jin if I refuse? Can I beat her?_

_Can I beat her?_

_Can I beat her?_

_Can I beat her?)_

He doesn’t know the answer to that, he doesn’t know the answer to any of those questions. He feels like he doesn’t know anything at all.

“Dad? Are you okay? You are really quiet. Are you shocked to see your sister?” His son puts down his sesame cake and looks up at him with worry in his eyes. His beautiful eyes that seem to shift between green and gold.

Zuko wants to scream, cry, and laugh.

His wonderful family, his wonderful, innocent, and clueless family. They have no idea what evil he has brought upon them.

Azula looks at him and smirks. “Dear brother, I missed you so very much. Father and I both. We need you at home. The business is expanding, and we need your family’s help. We would very much love for Jinhai to come and learn about his father’s side.”

Jin takes a sip of her tea and a broad smile appears on her face. “Lee, I know we promised to help your uncle get settled in the upper ring with the shop but what if you and Jinhai went while I stayed behind to help him?”

Her jade eyes are shining as she says, “Your sister told me she has a friend in the colonial government who could get you two visitor’s visas. Oh, Jinhai loves your stories about the colonies and it would do good for him to learn about his roots.”

Zuko grinds his teeth and a pained look appears on his face.

He knows, he must make a choice and quickly.

Zuko makes his choice and he will spend the coming weeks and months wondering if it was the wrong one, if there was another way that he just didn’t see. In that moment he can see no other way, no other path. He throws the table over, breaking the tea set and the table itself. He grabs Jin and Jinhai and places them behind him.

He smirks because Azula made a mistake. She sat in the seat furthest from the door leaving him and his family the ability to run away.

He yells, “Jin take Jinhai and run! Run out of here and don’t look back! Run and get the Dai Li, tell them the Fire Nation has infiltrated the city!”

“Run!?! Lee, what are you talking about-“ 

“Run! Dammit, get out of here!”

Jin looks at him and maybe for the first time sees Zuko. Zuko the broken and sad man. Zuko who is _Lee,_ her quiet and shy husband but is so much more than that. Zuko is something Jin can’t even begin to understand. So Jin grabs Jinhai and pulls the door open. She opens and screams. Two Dai Li agents rush into the apartment.

Azula looks on as his family cowers in fear. “Zuzu, you dummy. I thought age would sharpen your mind, but it clearly did not. You are just as clueless as you were when we were children. Why would I come here without backup? Why would I leave you an avenue to escape? Don’t you remember Father’s lessons? To ensure surrender you must cut off all escape routes for your enemies.”

Zuko knows he made an error in judgement. Azula never makes mistakes, not ever and especially not now. He thinks he can come back from this. He still has one last card to pull. He looks behind him at his son and wife who are crying and clinging to each other.

“Agni Kai.”

“What?”

“I challenge you to an Agni Kai. If I win, my family goes free. If I lose, we go to the Fire Nation and I mean all of us, not just my son.”

Azula shakes her head and looks up at the ceiling as she chuckles. “Oh, Great Agni, you are so dramatic! I have you surrounded, why would I fight you in an Agni Kai when I’ve already won? There is nothing you can do to stop me from taking your son.”

“Fine, then fight for your honor.” He says bitterly.

“I’m not like you, Zuko. Why would I fight for honor when I have power?” Azula speaks these words slowly, like she is explaining to a child why they can’t have custard for dinner.

“Fight me, Azula!” Zuko readies his stance and shoots a fire blast towards her.

Azula blocks the blast and the annoyance on her face turns to anger. “This was so simple Zuko, but you had to make it complicated. If you had let me take your son then maybe I could have convinced Father that you have suffered enough, that you are now worthy of the life of a prince. Now I see, all you are worthy of is a life in a prison cell.”

“I will not let you get away with this!”

“I know brother. I know.”

The Dai Li agents move in on Jin and Jinhai. Their faces neutral as if they are guarding one of the king’s parties instead of doing the will of an enemy princess.

Azula raises her hand, signaling them to stop.

They look over at her with a slight puzzled look on their faces.

“No, I want them to see this.”

He sees her as she takes her stance and the sparks begin to play at her fingertips beginning to form the cold fire. The smile on her face is chilling and she directs the lightning at him.

Zuko readies his stance and focuses. He focuses readying his body to create a pathway for the lightning. If he does not focus, he will die. He cannot die, not yet, not until he sees his family to safety.

Time slows as Zuko begins to take deep breathes. He thinks on his family, the ones who anchor him to this world, the ones he holds in his heart above all else.

_Jin…Jinhai…Uncle…_

_Jin’s eyes…. Jinhai’s smile…. Uncle’s laugh_

_Jin’s eyes…Jinhai’s smile…. Uncle’s laugh_

_Jin’s eyes…Jinhai’s smile…. Uncle’s laugh_

_Jin’s eyes----_

Zuko feels a push and finds himself off balance, falling over. As he falls, he hears the crackle of the lightning. He places his hands out in front of him to steady himself, he quickly looks over and sees something. Something so horrible that even in his darkest dreams, he never conjured such a sight. He sees Jin lying on the ground, her body crumpled and contorted. Her chestnut hair covering her face and her emerald dress tattered with a large wound in her middle. 

_Jin pushed him and was hit_

_Jin pushed him and was hit_

_Jin pushed him and was hit_

Zuko crawls over towards her and cradles her in his arms. He stares into her eyes, once vibrant green but are dimming and dimming and dimming the longer he gazes into them. He is scared to look at her wound, because if he looks at it then its real, then she is truly hurt, then all hope is lost. So, he focuses on her breathing, hearing her heave and the scent, the scent of burning, the same scent that lingered on him after his Agni Kai. That terrible, loathsome day that clings to him like a shadow. Fire can create and destroy. He knows this, he learned this, he believes this. But for most of his life, he has witnessed it hurt but never heal, burn down but never build up. So he wonders, wonders if his son will live the rest of his life afraid of fire, afraid of what he possesses the ability to do, and afraid of who he is.

Zuko pushes that thought from his mind and resolves to never let Jinhai live like that. He needs to focus; he needs to think of what to do next, but he cannot. He cannot think of what to do next because the sound is overwhelming. There is this other person or animal or thing that is screaming and Zuko, Zuko wants to tell whatever it is to stop and shut up. He needs to save his wife and if they don’t shut up, he can’t think of what to do next. The sound sounds vaguely human and continues to wail and cry and curse the spirits. Zuko realizes who is making the sound, that voice is his own.

It feels as if time has slowed, as if this moment exists outside of time. He can feel nothing and everything all at once.

He is broken out of the spell, placed back into time by his uncle. His uncle, the Dragon of the West, not Mushi, the tea shop owner, has arrived. This is the man who led armies into battle and inspired devotion from their people. 

“Zuko! I’ll handle them! Just take your family and get out of here!”

Zuko doesn’t think, he can’t think, he just moves. He clings Jin’s body to him. He turns behind him looking for Jinhai. He sees his son, who contorted himself in a ball in the corner. His son is near silent, his eyes are glassy, and he is there but he is not. Zuko does not have the luxury of time, he does not have the ability to comfort his son, not yet. So Zuko places Jin over his shoulder and with his other hand grabs his son and they run.

As they run out of the apartment, they see more Dai Li agents running towards them. Zuko quickly turns the corner and they exit from the other hallway.

Once in the street, Zuko pushes past people as they turn and stare at them. He keeps running, where he is going, he has no idea, but he has to keep moving. The Dai Li are likely behind him but Ba Sing Se is a sea of people, one that is not easily parted, not even for them. 

He turns another corner and stops. In front of him are Mai and Ty Lee.

He is sure it is them. They are older of course but he remembers their faces. He remembers being forced to play with them in the garden. He remembers his mother inviting them to watch plays from the royal box at the theater in Caldera. He remembers Mai’s blush and Ty Lee’s giggle. But now is not the time to reminisce, now is the time to fight.

“Get out of my way! I don’t want to fight you two, but I will if I have to.”

Ty Lee and Mai look frazzled, as if they were running for their lives as well.

It is Mai who speaks first.

“Zuko! No, we don’t want to hurt your family, we want to help you. We were on our way to warn you.”

“Zuko, we want to help you escape.” Ty Lee says with unshed tears in her eyes, “Please let us help you escape.”

“Why should I trust you? You came here with Azula, right? Do you think I’m an idiot!”

“Fine, Zuko don’t trust us but please. The Dai Li will catch you soon and you don’t want them to catch you so just come with us. We’ll get you and your family out of the city.”

Zuko doesn’t know why but he decides to go with them. Unlike with Azula, he can read their eyes, and their eyes ring true.

He doesn’t remember how they got out of the city. He doesn’t remember what happened after he started following them. He doesn’t remember laying Jin’s body on the soft earth. He looks up at the sky and sees that it is now dusk. 

Jin is dead.

She most likely died as he was running out of the apartment. He curses himself for not noticing, for not feeling the life leave her body.

He knows what he must do. He was not supposed to do this. This was supposed to happen long from now. There is an order to such things. First, he would have passed into the spirit world with Jin and Jinhai watching over his deathbed. Then it would have been Jin’s time and Jinhai would have done this surrounded by his own children.

But Azula came and stole that from them.

So now, he must do Jin’s rites.

Fire Nation funerals take place at dusk, as night overtakes the day, to represent the sunset of a person’s life. Zuko does not know Earth Kingdom funeral rites, he wishes he learned. All he knows is that they bury their dead, returning them to the earth that nurtured them throughout their lives. But he has no shovel to bury Jin and no time to get one. So Jin will be honored in the Fire Nation fashion. He knows she would not mind. As long as _Lee_ and Jinhai were there, Jin was happy.

He looks over at Mai, Ty Lee, and Jinhai. The three of them have a haunted look in their eyes. Zuko wonders how he looks. He is not sure he wants to find out.

Mai places a hand on his shoulder breaking his train of thought. 

“Zuko, we must cremate her.”

“I know.”

Ty Lee and Jinhai stay to watch over Jin’s body while he and Mai gather wood for the pyre. With the two of them working together it does not take long to build the pyre. He carries Jin’s body to the pyre as Ty Lee, Jinhai, and Mai look on.

He places her gently on the pyre and pushes her hair back from her face. He marvels at how she looks like she is sleeping and will wake up soon. But he knows that she will never wake. He kisses her forehead and tells her that he loves her and that Jinhai is safe.

Zuko crouches down and looks eye-level at Jinhai. His son’s eyes are puffy and filled with unshed tears. His eyes have lost their sparkle and he looks dazed.

“Jinhai, little one. Look at Daddy.”

Jinhai’s eyes focus on Zuko’s face.

“We will be saying goodbye to Mommy so she can go to the spirit world. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Jinhai nods slowly but makes no audible sounds.

“She will be at peace now, no one can harm her. She knows that we love her, and we do this so her journey can be peaceful. Come hold my hand so we can do this together.”

Jinhai’s small hand grabs Zuko and the emotions that he has been holding in threaten to overwhelm him. Zuko steadies himself, he reminds himself that he can cry in front of Jinhai, but he cannot go mad in his grief. 

Ty Lee and Mai bow their heads as Zuko begins the rites trying to keep his voice even, clutching Jinhai’s hand tighter.

“Beloved Jin, wife of Lee and mother of Jinhai.” His voice begins to break and tears stream down his face as he says, “We honor you. We thank you for your life, your work, and your love. May your journey to the spirit world be quick and may you find peace. May you watch over Jinhai and guide him along his path.”

He lights the pyre and the four of them watch it burn. He cannot look away, he stares into the flames, as they consume his wife. In that moment, he whispers something to the wind. A vow, a promise.

 _Jin, I will avenge you_.

After, he looks over at Mai and Ty Lee and sees them crying softly. He looks more closely at Mai. He realizes that he has never seen her cry before. Her cheeks glisten with tears as the eyelashes around her tawny eyes darken. She begins speaking in a soft voice.

“Zuko, we are sorry. I’m so sorry. We will spend our lives working to make up for this great wrong.”

Zuko’s eyes widen as he watches Mai and Ty Lee bow low to the floor and kneel in front of him and Jinhai, touching their heads to the ground.

“No! Please do not do such a thing! Rise and hold your heads up. May Agni bless you for your courage.”

They rise slowly and look at him as he continues speaking.

“You both saved me and my son. I will not forget what you have done.”

Zuko pushes his son’s dark hair back and looks at his face. He smiles softly as he sees Jin’s lips and brows in his son. She will live on in him. He picks up his son and Jinhai lays his head on Zuko’s shoulder. Zuko smooths his hair down continuing to look at Mai and Ty Lee.

“Zuko, there is a town a short distance from here. It has a small inn where people don’t ask questions.” Ty Lee says as she hands him a bag of coins.

“My uncle….”

Ty Lee shakes her head softly as she says, “Azula wouldn’t kill him, not here, we will make sure that he is comfortable in his cell and knows you are safe.”

“Thank you but why… Why are you helping me?” he asks.

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Mai says, her voice filled with regret.

He understands what she means. The Fire Nation doesn’t have to be this way, the world doesn’t have to be this way, they don’t have to be this way.

He watches as Ty Lee and Mai bow in formal Fire Nation fashion.

Ty Lee begins to say an ancient blessing.

“Prince Zuko, may your path be straight. May your courage sustain you. May your justice fall on your enemies. Agni bless you.”

“Agni bless you.” Zuko nods in acknowledgement and turns towards the town. 

He does not know where this journey will take him, but he knows one thing. 

He will kill Azula.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy with this chapter at all. I don't think I conveyed what I wanted to convey in this chapter very well. So rather than continue to fixate on it, I decided to post it and move on to other parts of the story. I hope you guys still understand it and if anyone has any questions please message me. This chapter was inspired by the Zutara Bible, Once Around the Sun by eleventy7. If you've read it, you should know what part I was inspired by and if you haven't read it, please check that out. It is absolutely amazing and everyone who loves Zutara needs to read it. Thank you to everyone who commented, sent kudos, and bookmarked this!


	3. the wife

**chapter two** : the wife

{apple blossom}

She met him the week the apple blossoms bloomed.

It felt like the city was covered in a pink glow.

Her grandmother had often spoke of flowers. She taught Jin that the flowers like all living things held significance and meaning.

Apple blossoms meant good fortune and better things to come. Jin wondered when her good fortune would come in. She didn’t like her job at Biyu’s dress shop. She liked Biyu, she liked being around fabrics and sketches, it was the customers she couldn’t stand. She had to deal with pushy middle ring customers who wanted Biyu to recreate the latest upper-ring designs at lower ring prices. Yet they would look down on her and Biyu for living in the lower ring. She wanted to tell them off, that no matter how many knockoff dresses they brought they would never become upper-ring women. But she could never say that, so she just smiled and nodded as she scheduled their consultations.

As Jin stopped to shake the falling blossoms from her hair, an idea came to her. Why not stop by the tea shop to relax before heading home? She was babysitting Chen’s twin boys and she needed to be as relaxed as possible before dealing with them. 

She enters the restaurant and an older man with kind eyes takes her order, the older man returns with her order of oolong tea and she sits to enjoy it quietly. As she starts to enjoy her tea, she looks over and sees _him_. He was…well…the word cute felt too small and unfit to describe what he was. He was handsome- _really_ handsome. He had short dark hair, high cheekbones, and hazel eyes. She notices a red scar when he turns his head but that only adds to his appeal.

She sees him interact with the older man as they share a joke. The older man laughs outright but he, he just wears the ghost of a smile on his lips.

She wants to talk to him, but she doesn’t want to seem overeager. She continues to visit the shop hoping to one day catch his attention.

Jin can tell he is shy because he glances at her often but doesn’t speak to her. She wonders if he is avoiding her because whenever she enters the shop he suddenly becomes busy or starts dealing with another customer.

She decides that she has to make the first move, so she approaches the counter and asks him out.

He looks flustered and a soft pink blush appears on his cheek.

Later, after he pulls away from their kiss, she sees his eyes that she thought were hazel were actually sparkling gold. 

{carnation}

Jin could tell he hadn’t had a girlfriend before, and she would have to teach him, but she didn’t mind. He was too cute for her to mind.

When they went on dates, she always picked the place. 

She took him to the carnival where they watched the acrobats. She took him to the new dumpling shop where she dared him to eat the spiciest dumpling and he didn’t even sweat. They would go to the botanical gardens and sit in the shade to eat fried dough, mung bean cakes, and sesame balls. They would sit by the Firelight Fountain feeding the turtle ducks and coming up with names for them. Some days they just walked through the city, holding hands, as they traded stories about annoying customers.

One night Lee told her to meet him by _their_ fountain. So, she waits for him there under the warm and cozy light. She thinks of him, his smile, his scent, and his laugh…his rare laugh that to her sounds like a gift.

“Jin!”

She turns as sees Lee running to approach her. She blushes at how handsome he looks in the soft firelight.

She pulls him into a hug and kisses his cheek.

“Hi,” she says softly.

“Hi,” he responds as she takes his hand and walks him over to a bench.

They sit in silence as she waits for him to speak. He looks a little nervous, slouching and running his fingers through his hair. He suddenly sits up “Jin, I- I really like you and I wanted to show you how much I appreciate the time we’ve spent together.”

She watches as he pulls out a pink carnation from his pocket. She blushes deep red as he places the flower in her hair.

“I got this for you and I hope you-“

Jin doesn’t know what to say so she doesn’t say anything. She decides to let her lips speak for her as she places a featherlight kiss to Lee’s mouth.

{hydrangea}

In Ba Sing Se, the Avatar remains a regular conversation topic. Many, especially those in the lower ring, eagerly await any word about the Avatar. It has been said that the Avatar remains in the North continuing to master the art of waterbending. Many await word of the return of the Avatar to the Earth Kingdom. Pao’s tea shop is a hub of such conversations.

Most patrons have left for the night. When Lee sweeps up for closing and Mushi puts away pots only three patrons remain. Jin and two elderly men Bao and Kang. Bao and Kang argue about where the Avatar go to find an earthbending instructor. Bao, from the southern city of Rei Lin, believes that the Avatar should find a bending master from the South. While Kang believes a northern master should get the honor of teaching the Avatar.

Jin just sits in her corner seat, reading her old copy of Romance of the Western Wing.

Kang frustrated with Bao turns to Lee.

“Lee what do you think?”

Lee looks up from the corner he is dusting and looks over at Kang and Bao. His face is neutral but Jin can see a hint of tension in his eyes.

“What do I think about what?”

“Where do you think the Avatar should find a master? Should he stick to the south or come to Ba Sing Se?”

“I—ummm, I’m not sure.” Lee glances at his uncle and they share a look. Jin knows that Lee and his uncle share some sort of secret code, one that she has no way of figuring out.

Lee looks back at Kang and quickly says, “I am sure that whatever master the Avatar picks will be the best master the Earth Kingdom has to offer.” He gives a quick smile, but it is awkward and doesn’t meet his eyes.

Finally, after the shop is officially closed, Lee takes her hand to walk her home. She notices some tension in his shoulders and they walk in silence, but she rubs her thumb gently along the back of his hand. She decides to be brave and asks him a question.

“You don’t believe in the Avatar, do you?”

Lee looks over at her with widened eyes then shifts his head back to look ahead.

“Uh...I-“

“It’s okay, Lee. I’m not sure I believe in him either.”

He doesn’t look over at her, but in a low voice he says, “May I ask why?”

“He abandoned us for a hundred years. He disappeared and the whole world turned to shit.”

Lee doesn’t say anything so Jin continues talking.

“Like he was the one who left and as soon as he comes back, we forget that he left us. We throw parades and praise the spirits for him, but I don’t think we should. Do you get what I mean?”

Lee nods.

“We shouldn’t have to wait a hundred years for things to change. Maybe we should believe in ourselves instead of him. We should work, truly work to change things for ourselves.”

“I understand.”

“You do?”

“Yes, Jin. I see where you are coming from.”

“Thank the spirits, Lee! I can’t talk to anyone else about this because everyone will look at me like I’m insane or I’m some sort of collaborator.”

Lee is silent at the mention of collaboration. Jin silently curses because she forgot about Lee’s family.

“Lee, I don’t want to offend you but is it okay if I ask something?”

Lee stops walking because they’ve reached her apartment complex.

“Sure…Jin, you can ask something.”

He turns his face towards her and in the moonlight his skin almost glows.

“Do you...do you feel the way you do...because of your family?”

Jin asks hesitantly because Lee prefers not to talk about his childhood in the colonies. She knows that he has mixed heritage, but she wonders what that means for him. Did one side of his family support the war while the other fought against it?

“No, that’s not why. I just like to focus on my daily life, things like the Avatar and the war feel so far away.” He says quickly like he doesn’t quite believe what he’s saying.

Jin places her hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder as he lightly runs his fingers across his scar.

He never talks about and she has never asked. She hopes that one day he is willing to tell her about it. Whenever that day comes, she knows that she will support him.

She tells him goodnight and kisses the scarred side as she enters into the complex.

{almond blossom}

When he told her, she couldn’t believe it. Lee, her gentle and shy Lee, a firebender!?! It didn’t feel real. She didn’t know how to feel or what to say so she just ran, ran away from him. 

She knocks on his door and Mushi opens the door to the apartment.

“Jin! How are you? You haven’t been in the shop for a while, we missed you.”

We, he said we. Does that mean Lee still cares about her?

She smiles softly but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“I’m sorry Mushi, I’ve been pretty busy at the shop.”

“Yes, of course. I understand that the festival season is quite busy for dress orders.”

“Yes, it is.”

“I’m sorry, where are my manners. You are here to speak to Lee, please come in.” Mushi says as he ushers her into the apartment.

“Is he busy?”

“No, he is just reading. He will be happy to see you.”

He opens the door to Lee’s room.

“Lee! Look who came for a visit!”

Lee is sitting in the corner reading a scroll and doesn’t say a word.

Mushi senses the tension.

“Lee, I will be over at the neighbor’s playing pai sho. I expect that you will escort Jin home at a reasonable hour, yes?”

Lee’s voice sounds gruff as he answers, “Yes, uncle. Don’t worry about us.”

Mushi looks at Lee then at Jin then finally back at Lee before he exists the apartment.

Lee and Jin both look at each other, hesitant and unsure. Jin decides to speak first but Lee beats her to it.

He looks at her with hard eyes. “I thought you hated me. You just ran away, and I didn’t know what to think.”

“Lee, I could never hate you. I was just-“

“Scared, I get it. Scared of me.”

“No, Lee I’m not scared of you. I’m scared for you and your uncle. How long can you guys hide your abilities?”

“We’ve been hiding it fine. No one had caught us yet.”

He looks at her sharply and says, “Unless you plan on turning us in.”

“Lee! Why would I do that? Why would I ever turn you in?”

He gets up and leans over her. He sounds frustrated and hurt as he yells, “Because I’m a firebender! Because firebenders have been hurting your people for the past hundred years!”

“But those people weren’t you…”

“But it could have been me! What haven’t you turned me in Jin!? Tell me!”

“Because I love you! Don’t you see, I love you!”

Lee is silent…shaken, he didn’t expect that. He turns away from her.

Lee says in a voice so soft she almost didn’t hear, “Don’t…don’t joke about something like that.”

Jin places her hand on his shoulder.

“Lee, please. Look at me.”

He turns back towards her and she can see a storm brewing in his eyes. She sees confusion, shock, and something else…something she can’t name.

She says in a calm voice, “I’m not joking.”

She takes his face in her hands forcing him to look at her.

He looks at her, green meeting gold.

He looks at her, happy but hesitant as he says, “Good, because I think-I think I love you too.”

She pulls him into a tight hug. Holding on to him like he could disappear at any moment.

{rose}

For their first anniversary, he takes her to see a show. It is an outdoor production of her favorite play, Romance of the Western Wing. She and Lee hold hands, both their hands radiating the warmth that is in their hearts. She knows she should be focused on the production, but she can’t take her eyes off of Lee.

Later as he walks to her door, it starts pouring heavily. She laughs as she hears Lee curse under his breath as he pulls up the collar of his robe. He kisses her cheek and starts to turn away, beginning the long walk back to his apartment.

“Lee you can’t walk home in this weather!”

“But I-“

“Your uncle would hate me if I let you get sick. Come in! You are staying here.”

Lee looks flustered and asks, “Will your parents be okay with that?”

“Oh Lee.” Her sweet, sweet Lee. “My parents aren’t here! Biyu gifted them with an overnight trip to the Jade Lily. It’s a new spa and hotel in the middle ring, her cousin is the owner.”

“Jin are you sure—“

She kisses him and pulls him in the apartment not giving him time to think. He thinks so often, considering every little thing, that Jin believes that his brain deserves a break for this one night. She thanks the spirits for the rain and wonders if it is a sign. The next morning as she kisses him goodbye, she knows that she made the right choice.

{lavender}

“He’ll leave me Biyu. He’s going to leave me I know it.” She sits in the backroom of the store, surrounded by rows and rows of fabric.

“Jin, please stop crying. He won’t leave you.”

“How do you know? You’ve never even met him!”

“Jin, I’ve heard you talk about him. It’s clear from your stories that you love him, and he loves you.” Biyu says placing her hand on top of Jin’s and squeezing it.

“Biyu, no…my life is over. First, my parents will disown me then Lee will run away, and I’ll have to raise the baby alone.”

“Jin, you are pregnant! You must think positive thoughts! You cannot pass negative energy to your baby.”

“You are right, Biyu. I have to keep hope.”

“Jin, just tell him and then I’ll help you figure out what to do from there.”

Jin sighs as Biyu continues. “Even if he turns you away and I know he won’t, I’ll be here. My children are grown, and it would be nice to be around a child in the shop again.”

“I guess you are right.”

It is the late afternoon by the time she walks to Lee’s apartment. She knows that he has just gotten off work and is probably tired, but she can’t wait. She has to get this over with. If he will leave her, it’s best to know as early as possible so she can plan what to do next.

She knocks before she loses her courage. He opens the door almost immediately and looks surprised to see her.

She can tell he has just bathed because the ends of his inky hair are wet, and he smells citrusy.

“Hi,” he says with a lop-sided smile, how she loves his smile.

“Hi,” she says nervously as she enters.

He gestures for her to sit at the table with him. He gets up and comes back with a pot of tea. She avoids his eyes as he pours her tea.

She picks up the cup and breathes in the scent of jasmine.

He looks at her watching her drink her tea for several moments, waiting for her to calm so she can speak.

She finally looks up at him unable to continue hiding from his gaze. She should have planned what she wanted to say, planned a way to tell him gently but the words just tumble out of her as the tears fall. The tears continue to fall, and she finds that she cannot stop them. 

He comes across the table and leans next to her chair. He starts to run circles with his hands along her back.

“Breathe, Jin, just breathe.”

So she does.

After she calms, he whispers into her hair that he loves her, would protect her, and would never leave her or their child.

He holds her hand as they walk back to her apartment and he doesn’t let her hand go, even as they listen to her father’s shouts and her mother’s tears.

They marry without any pomp or fanfare. She wears a simple sage dress and he wears a simple olive robe. She has no jewels or combs with precious stones, so she adorns her hair with lavender. They say their vows modestly and stare into each other’s eyes as the sage clasps their hands together. When his uncle hugs and kisses the both of them, she wonders if life could ever get any better than this.

{holly}

On a cloudless spring day her child is born. She hears a loud cry and throws her head back against the futon knowing her beautiful daughter has entered the world.

She is shocked when they bring the baby to her and tell her that she has given birth to a boy child. She didn’t think she would have a boy. She only had girl names picked out and dreamed of dressing her in mint and jade. She was so excited to welcome an _Ai_ or a _Lan_ that she never took the time to consider that her baby could be a boy. So here she is looking down at her son with his rosy plump cheeks and chubby limbs as he nurses.

Lee enters the room quietly and looks over at her. His face looks serene and she sees a peace in his eyes that she had never seen there before.

He comes over and rains kisses across her face.

“Thank you.” She gently strokes his soft hair as tears fall down his face.

“Lee, this is your son.”

“Son?”

She hands the baby to him and shifts his positioning to ensure that he is supporting the baby’s head.

“Hi, son.”

Later when his three grandparents come in to visit, Jin tells Lee to name their son as she is much too tired to think.

She closes her eyes and falls asleep as Lee pushes her hair back. She was tired but so happy.

She dreams of her son, she sees him learning, growing, and playing.

She opens her eyes to see Lee sitting in the rocking chair looking at their son, the two of them bathed in soft sunlight.

She finds herself blinking back tears. She never thought her heart could feel this full, that she could experience this much love.

She clears her throat as she says, “Think of a name?”

Lee looks up from their son to look at her.

“Yes…uh, I think I have.”

“Are you going to tell me, or do I have to start guessing?”

“Oh, uh sorry. His name is Jinhai…I mean, if you are okay with it.”

Jin sits up in the bed and she finds that she can’t take the grin off her face.

“You named him...Jinhai...after me?”

“Umm, partially. Jin means gold, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So when I look into his eyes, I see green with a tint of gold. And his eyes are calm like the sea. So I thought of Jinhai.”

“It’s perfect, Lee. I love it.”

He gives her a half-smile and says, “I knew you would.”

At that moment Jinhai decided to let out a cry.

“Bring him over here.”

Lee gets up from the chair and sits on the bed with their son. Jin takes Jinhai and cradles him in her arms.

Her baby has soft rounded cheeks and lots of smooth dark hair. He opens his eyes and she stares into them. His eyes are jade with flickers of gold and she can see the whole world in them. Lee was right, they are calm like the sea.

“Hey Jin! I’m your mama.” She coos at him as she moves her finger in front of his face.

He follows her finger with his eyes, and she chuckles.

“Are you hungry?” She asks as she shifts her robe to feed him.

“Jin? You are going to call him Jin?” Lee asks with mirth in his voice.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” Jin asks clearly.

“You’re Jin.” Lee says as if she didn’t know that.

“Well, because of you...both of us are Jin.”

“No, we need to come up with another nickname for him. I can’t call both of you Jin.”

“Who said anything about you calling him Jin? Jin is my nickname for him. Come up with your own.”

Lee smirks and shakes his head, “Fine…I’ll call him…buddy.”

“Buddy?” She asks, surprised that Lee would come up with that.

“Yes, buddy. What is wrong with buddy?”

“Nothing is wrong with that.” She says as she strokes her son’s cheek gently.

“So Jinhai, back to introductions. I’m your mom and this guy is your dad. We love you very much and we will always take care of you.”

{chrysanthemum}

“What’s your surprise?” He asks softly with a smile on his lips.

She presses up against his side, lowers her voice, and whispers in his ear, “Jinhai is staying over at Uncle’s for the night. We have the apartment to ourselves.”

His golden eyes darken and his cheeks flush.

“Are you happy?” She asks as she wiggles her eyebrows.

He laughs as he tells her, “You are so weird. I hope you know that.”

She cups his cheek and runs her finger along the edge of his scar.

“Yeah but you love me anyways.”

He pulls her towards him as his lips linger over hers.

He closes the distance as he says, “You are right, I do.”

As she pulls her lips away from his, she says, “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I am.”

“You are what?” She asks in a teasing voice.

“Happy.”

{blue violet}

Jinhai is everything she dreamed he could be and more. At five years old he is smart, kind, and curious.

He is affectionate with his parents and friends. Nothing makes Jinhai happier than piggyback rides from his dad when he comes home from work.

Jinhai never gets sick except one night he does. He tells Jin that he feels fine, but she keeps him home from school and takes off work to stay with him. His skin is burning but he has no other symptoms. She wants to take him to the clinic, but Lee tells her to wait until Mushi comes over to look at him.

Jin is laying on the bed with Jinhai’s head on her lap as he sleeps. Mushi comes into the room and runs his hands along Jinhai’s face, arms, legs, and chest. He doesn’t say anything but calls Lee over and they walk to the corner and start whispering.

She is confused, something is wrong, and she doesn’t know why they won’t just tell her.

“What is it? What is wrong with my baby?”

Lee looks down and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“He is not sick…but something is happening to him.”

“Well, what?! What is so terrible that you have to whisper?”

Mushi sighs as he says, “Jin, dear, the boy takes after his father in more than looks.”

Jinhai…taking after Lee in more than looks…that could only mean that Jinhai could also firebend-

She remembers that the walls in the lower ring are thin and they can only speak of the situation vaguely. She looks at Lee then again at Mushi.

“But, you guys told me that if he could _juggle_ you would have figured out already.”

“Yes, but sometimes _jugglers_ don’t know they can _juggle_ until they are a little older. His father learned he could _juggle_ around Jinhai’s age.”

“Well, what do we do now? Do we leave the city?”

Lee comes and sits at the foot of the bed.

He says in a hushed tone, “No, we aren’t leaving. I won’t uproot you and Jinhai because of this. My uncle and I will teach him how to hide his ability.”

He sees that she doesn’t look assured, so he takes her hand in his.

“Do you trust me?”

Jin pauses and thinks, truly thinks. Does she trust Lee? She married him, shares his bed, and is raising a child with him but sometimes she wonders about him. Wonders about what he and his uncle talk about when its just the two of them. Sometimes it seems as if a shadow passes over his eyes, a glimmer of something else, but it is gone as soon as it appears. She remembers that the war made ghosts of them all. Millions of people walking the world; renaming and remaking themselves. They forget the things that are too painful to face and hold tightly to the things that are not. She cannot fault Lee for not sharing the things that he himself has not begun to face.

“Yes, I trust you.”

She thinks of his smile, his laugh, how he plays with Jinhai and teaches him things, and how his forehead crinkles when he concentrates on something. Yes, she trusts him. How could she not trust him? She feels in her heart and in her bones that Lee will care for Jinhai and protect him above all else.

So years later, when she saw the lightning heading for Lee, pushing him out of the way was the easiest choice she ever made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write a chapter focused on Jin and some short snippets of her life with Lee. The vignettes are titled after flowers that symbolize their theme. (In case anyone is wondering: apple blossoms- good fortune, carnations- new love, hydrangea-understanding, almond blossom- abiding love, rose- passion, lavender- devotion, holly- domestic happiness, chrysanthemum- happiness and blue violet- trustworthiness. ) It's pretty dialogue heavy and I'm not that comfortable yet writing fluff but I hope you all enjoy! Thanks again for all the support :) I haven't come up with a regular update schedule but I am working on that. The next chapter will be about Jinhai and Zuko as they journey away from Ba Sing Se. 
> 
> P.S. Romance of the Western Wing is a reference to Romance of the Western Chamber, a classic Chinese romantic play.


	4. the choice

**chapter three** : the choice

{the shadows}

For the first night, he could not sleep. He is afraid, much too afraid to rest. He fears that Azula may be around the corner. And maybe she is. In a way she has been looming over his shoulder for years just like his father. When he was asleep in his ship, his ship that he now sees as a prison, he would think of her and his father and wonder if they missed him, if they thought of him. Now, now he knows better. Now he knows they did not love him, at least not in the way he needed them to.

He cannot sleep so he watches over Jinhai. Zuko knows the boy only fell asleep out of pure exhaustion and prays that he has no dreams. He prays that the gods allow his son this one thing, a peaceful rest. Zuko sends a quiet prayer of thanks to Agni that he and Jinhai escaped. He also prays for the safety of his uncle, Mai, and Ty Lee. He prays for comfort for Jin’s parents and wonders what his neighbors think happened to them. He realizes that their thoughts matter little, that he and Jinhai will likely never see Ba Sing Se again.

The hours pass slowly but quickly. He lays in the bed and he thinks about everything. His mother, his father, his grandfather, Lu Ten, the sword, the flame, his imprisoned uncle, his sleeping son, his beautiful innocent wife, and the one who stole her from him.

When he was younger and he would play with _her_ , never in his wildest dreams did he ever think that his own _sister_ could kill his wife.

 _Sister_ , she is his sister, but his family fractured a long time ago. When Lu Ten died, it was like the sky fell in on them and it never stopped falling.

He feels as light begins to enter the sky. His inner flame is being nourished by it. His uncle used to tell him that no matter what troubles he would face, that the sun would rise again. The sun has risen but he feels no joy or peace at is, just determination to do what he must.

Jinhai begins to stir and Zuko pushes his hair out of his face. Zuko wonders how much Jinhai remembers of what happened. He hopes his son remembers very little.

The town looks like it is covered in a cloud of dust and the air is heavy. He and Jinhai head to a small store to buy supplies. The shop owner is an elderly woman who avoids his gaze and goes into the back room. Zuko pays her no mind, he has long since learned that most people either pity him or fear him.

He looks around the store. The shelfs are almost bare but he is able to gather bread, cheese, nuts, a canteen, two knapsacks, a reed flute, a bamboo pen, and some paper.

He looks around for Jinhai and sees the shop owner talking to him from across the counter. Jinhai is quite tall for his age and reaches past the woman’s shoulder. Zuko approaches the two of them at a leisure pace, moving from the back of the store to the front.

“Hello,” he says softly.

She hesitantly tells him, “Hello, I- I went to the back to get some cinnamon candies for your son.”

“Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.” Zuko nudges his son, “Jinhai, what do you say?”

“Thank you.”

“Oh, no problem. He looks like a very good boy.” The store owner says with cheer in her voice.

“He is,” Zuko replies as he tousles Jinhai’s hair.

Jinhai takes his hand as they walk around the open market. He looks at the various craftsmen and artisans selling their items. One item catches his eye, a blue oni mask. He buys it and continues to another stall.

An older man is selling ostrich horses.

He and Jinhai inspect the ostrich horses. They settle on one of the larger female ostrich horses. Jinhai names her Plum.

As they continue through the town, they see a small weapons stall. He notices some broadswords of good quality. He buys them because he doesn’t know when he’ll get the opportunity again.

As they leave town, Jinhai asks him what he named the swords.

“Jinhai, the name of a person’s weapon is a secret. There is a bond between the weapon and its wielder. One does not ask a swordsman what he names his sword.”

“Oh okay.”

“But…since you are my son, I will tell you. But this is a secret between us. Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I named them duty and loyalty. Without those two things, a man is nothing.”

He has no idea where he and Jinhai should go, but he knows they must keep moving. If they keep moving it will be difficult for Azula or whoever she sends after them to catch up.

As they pass from town to town, he tries to sleep but he dreams of Jin’s death almost every night. Sometimes Jin dies, sometimes Jinhai, and other times it is him who dies. It is Azula who wields the cold fire, that part never changes.

He manages to wake himself up before he disturbs Jinhai too much.

He prays that Jinhai is never plagued by nightmares. The gods have never favored him, but he hopes they allow him this much. He is saddened as he watches as his son starts to whimper and cry out. Zuko shakes him gently.

“Little one, it’s okay. Daddy is here, we are safe.”

Jinhai opens his green-gold eyes in terror and wipes the sweat from his brow. His milky skin and bright eyes stand out in the darkness.

“But Dad, I saw her! I saw the monster!”

“I know- I know you saw her, but she can’t harm us here.”

Zuko doesn’t need to ask what monster he is speaking about. He knows and feels ashamed because the same monster that haunts his dreams now haunts his son.

Jinhai sits up and leans into Zuko’s side. Zuko places his hand on Jinhai’s back and runs his hand up and down to soothe the boy.

“Dad, I’m sorry. It’s my fault mom got hurt.”

Zuko’s eyes widen in shock that his son feels this way, but he quickly remembers that he felt the same way after his mother left. 

“Jinhai, look at me.” Their faces are encased in shadow but Zuko focuses on his son’s eyes.

When he looks into them instead of a gentle sea, he sees a storm.

“You are not to blame. The only person to blame is the one who killed your mother. Okay?”

His son offers a soft reply, “Okay.”

They sit in silence with Zuko continuing to soothe his son.

After a time, Jinhai falls asleep holding Zuko’s hand.

In the morning, Zuko buys chamomile and thyme to put in their tea. He wishes that his uncle was there to ensure that the blend was correct but Jinhai will have to make do with him.

Zuko wants them to move faster but Jinhai is a child and is not used to traveling for hours on end. Jinhai was raised in the city, never knowing fear, discomfort, or true sadness. Now Jinhai knows such things intimately. Zuko decides not to push his son to go faster than he can. After all, right now they are running from shadows and you can never truly outrun them.

{the teller of untruths}

He and Jinhai share some bread and cheese by a stream. Zuko kneels at the bank of the stream to fill their canteen.

“Those two ladies who helped us, they called you something else…”

Zuko is silent as his son continues to speak, continuing to fill the canteen.

“They called you…Zu-ko. They were wrong, right Dad? Your name is Lee. Isn’t it?”

Zuko closes the canteen and walks over to sit by his son, “No, Jinhai…my name is Zuko.”

“Why did you tell me your name was Lee? Even mom and grandpa called you Lee! Why did you all lie to me? Is it because I’m a kid? Why would mom keep a secret from me? She always told me secrets were wrong.”

“No, Jinhai, your-your mom didn’t keep anything from you. It was me.”

“Are you saying mom didn’t know? That you lied to her?! Why would you lie to mom? Who are you? Who is Zuko? Who was that woman? Why did she hurt mom? Why did she want to take me away?” Jinhai’s words become slurred as he is overcome by emotion.

“Jinhai, please calm down.” Zuko winces, knowing he said the wrong thing.

“I don’t want to calm down! Tell me what’s happened? Just tell me please, I promise not to get mad.” Jinhai is crying but he sits up straight and looks Zuko in the eyes. Zuko wants to turn away, to hide from Jinhai, but he owes his son an honest conversation. One that is long overdue.

“Jinhai you can’t promise that.” Zuko says, with deep sorrow in his voice.

“Yes, I can! I will.”

“You’ll get mad and that’s okay. You should be mad.” Zuko feels bitter, that he has lost his wife and now will lose his son, and he can only blame himself.

“Dad, please…,” Jinhai says in a faint voice.

He begins to speak slowly, trying to anchor Jinhai with his voice, “My name is Zuko, I’m a prince. I moved to Ba Sing Se to start over… to start over I needed a new name. I told people my name was Lee.”

“But what about that woman, was she really your sister?” Jinhai asks slowly with a hint of hope in his voice.

Zuko thinks of how to phrase it, wishing he could minimize the pain the truth will bring. He begins in a hoarse whisper, “That woman, she is my sister.” He continues, “My…my sister and my dad they are not nice people. They hurt others. That’s why I don’t want them anywhere near us, near you. If we stay away from them, then we’ll be safe.”

“Did mom know?”

Zuko clenches his fists, bites his lip until it bleeds. He cannot lie, he cannot lie to Jinhai. He cannot look into his son’s eyes and lie to him. Not about this, not about Jin.

“No, I didn’t tell her.” He breathes the words out softly.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell her? You guys loved each other. Mom always said you don’t lie to the people you love.” Jinhai is irate now, his anger spilling out of him. Zuko looks at his son in that moment and sees how much Jinhai looks like him, looks like his family. The glare in his eyes, the snarl in his lips, he looks so much like a royal. Zuko knew that Jinhai looked like him but this is more than just sharing the same cut of the eyes or the slope of the nose. This is a spirit, an undeniable spirit that is not taught and can never be imitated. He wonders if this is how Azula recognized Jinhai. Not from his physical features but from his essence. An essence that has carried over generations, that would always be apparent to those who knew what to look for.

Zuko becomes flustered, trying to not be overwhelmed by his sadness, “Well, I did, Jinhai! I loved her but I thought I was protecting her. I was wrong. I think I was only protecting myself. I’m so sorry, Jinhai. If I could do it over again I-”

Jinhai speaks in a tentative voice, “I- I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“Jinhai, please.”

Jinhai is silent as he walks further away from Zuko.

“Jinhai, please talk to me,” Zuko pleads.

His son doesn’t respond to him, he doesn’t even turn around. Zuko decides to give him space staying by the bank as Jinhai sits by Plum. Jinhai sits and plays a simple tune on the reed flute. Although his son was only a short distance away, Zuko has never felt further from him.

They continue their journey with Zuko holding the reins of Plum and Jinhai sitting in front of him. Zuko's heart is beating faster than a dragonfly hummingbird. Jinhai has yet to say anything to Zuko. Zuko just speaks in basic commands and Jinhai nods in response if he acknowledges them at all.

Jinhai does not speak to him for the rest of the day not until after they get into a new town. He doesn’t say anything until it’s past dusk and they’ve had their dinner and bathed and are drinking some tea in their room. The silence is deafening but Zuko should be used to it. In the first few weeks after his banishment, he spent it in near silence, only speaking when absolutely necessary. He preferred to spend his time mediating or going over scrolls to learn as much as he could about Air Nomad culture and habits. When he started speaking more to his uncle, he was startled by the sound of his own voice, he had almost forgotten it.

He looks at his son as he sips his tea, understanding a little of the torrent of thoughts and emotions his son was going through.

“Dad?” Jinhai asks hesitantly.

Zuko responds in a gentle voice, “Yes, son.”

“I love you.”

Zuko tries to hold in a sob as he says, “I- I love you, too. I love you very much, Jinhai.”

“Can you tell me about your home? Your real home?”

Zuko wipes a tear from his eye because he hasn’t been able to speak about his home in so long, because he thought maybe his son would never say those words to him again. He tells Jinhai about turtleducks, fireflakes, summer homes by the sea, mountain pilgrimages, winter lodges, nights spent catching fireflies, and days spent boating. He tells him of servants and tutors. Of the feasts and numerous pets. He also tells his son of a mother’s gentle caress and a cousin’s warm hugs.

{the things he is too afraid to say}

Zuko is tired of traveling through towns. He sees people being happy and smiling with their families. Working and living. He wants to ask them why they act as if they don’t know what has happened and what will continue to happen. His wife is dead. They say the Avatar is dead too and yet these people live as they always lived. It makes him angry; it makes him sick. So, the next day, they camp in the woods and sleep under the stars.

Jinhai sits in the shade of a tree and is writing something. Zuko is laying in the grass with his hands behind his head, looking at the clouds. He remembers days with Jin spent in the park, trying to find images in the clouds.

Zuko rises up to his elbow and looks over at Jinhai.

“Hey buddy! What are you doing?”

His son looks to be deep in concentration, his pink tongue sticking out of his mouth slightly.

“I’m writing a letter to mom.”

Zuko can almost hear his heart breaking.

In an unsteady voice he asks, “Do you need...any help?”

Jinhai responds in a clear voice, “No, Dad. It’s fine, I can do this by myself.”

“Okay, just let me know if you need anything.”

Jinhai doesn’t respond but Zuko continues to look at him, watching his son create neat characters.

“Dad, I’m finished. Can you…maybe burn it for me to make sure she gets it?”

“Uh, okay but…”

“What Dad?”

“Why don’t you want to burn it yourself?” Zuko asks softly.

Zuko is not sure how to ask what he really wants to know. Jinhai hasn’t shown any interest in meditating or reciting the basic principles of the flame. He had thought that maybe Jinhai would become afraid of firebending but now his fears have been confirmed. They will have to have a conversation about this later.

“I just don’t want to! So, can you do it for me?” Jinhai sounds like he is trying hard to keep his frustration from coming out. 

Zuko lets out a breath that he didn’t even know he was holding.

“Of course.”

He and Jinhai kneel in the quiet shade of the tree as Zuko burns the letter. They don’t speak and just focus on the smell and the feeling of watching it burn.

Zuko prays quietly that the words reach Jin and that Jinhai is comforted in her absence. They do not speak any further but Zuko places his hand on Jinhai’s shoulder and hopes his son can feel the things he cannot yet say. He decides that he will try to tell his son everything that night. 

{the story}

They’ve been traveling for more than two weeks. The days start to blend. Every few days it is a new town, a new inn, a new market.

Tonight, Jinhai and Zuko decide to sketch pictures before bed. Jinhai draws a picture of Plum and Zuko draws his family’s beach house.

“Dad, can you tell me a story? A brand new one?”

“A new one...um okay. It will be short and probably not very good.”

Jinhai chuckles and says, “That’s okay, dad. I just want to hear something new.”

Zuko doesn’t know what he will say so he just starts talking, his mother used to tell him the best stories came from the heart, so he starts to speak from his heart.

_Once upon a time, there was a dragon prince who lived with his family in the heavens in a castle made of clouds. The prince was kind and he wanted to see everyone in the kingdom be happy. But there was a war between the dragons of heaven and the people of earth. The dragon prince stood up to his father, the dragon king and was cast out from the heavens. The dragon was injured and found by his uncle. Except his uncle was now a human, no longer the dragon that the prince knew. The prince asked his uncle how he changed from a dragon to a man. His uncle told him that he had a choice, a choice to be a beast or a man. That he could be one but not both. The dragon prince decided to try and be a man and he has been trying ever since._

“Dad...the dragon prince...he’s you, right?”

“Yes.”

Jinhai doesn’t say anything else, he just turns and goes to sleep.

{the man in between}

He lays in bed with his arms across his chest, staring up at the ceiling and trying to discern patterns in it. The room is silent save for Jinhai’s gentle breathing.

His son is asleep while he wonders if he is being punished. His life from his mother’s disappearance to his banishment to his wife’s death feels like he is being made to suffer by some greater force. He has had the people he loves taken from him too many times. 

He wonders if the evil his great-grandfather unleashed on the other nations came back to his own house. He thinks that maybe the combined curses of thousands of men in the other nations caused evil to overtake his family until they destroyed themselves. He thinks of his father and mother, sister and uncle. He thinks of his cousin-his strong, brave, and noble cousin, cut down just as he was beginning to bloom.

He is between opinions. His mother and uncle often spoke of the spirits and how they laid the path out for men. His mother’s parents taught her that destiny is written by the stars in the heavens at the time of everyone’s birth. His father and sister denounced such things, believing that destiny was written by one’s own hands and the gods were disinterested in men. That even if the gods were interested in the affairs of men, they favored the Fire Nation above the other nations.

Zuko has always walked along the line, not sure which philosophy to cling to. When he was young, he believed he had a destiny. That it was his purpose to rule the Fire Nation and lead them as his ancestors had done for generations. That his banishment was just a test, a test of his resolve and ability.

He liked to believe that there is a purpose in all things. That every moment was leading him towards where he truly belonged. He just had to believe in his heart that he was worthy of something greater and the gods would guide him to where he was always meant to be.

Now he feels foolish for ever believing such things. If the gods truly gave him Jin, then ripping her away from him made them gods that he would never worship or praise. Maybe the gods do care about humans but not enough to intervene, not enough to stop the cries of men. He thinks of the suffering he has seen around him, the misery, hunger, and pain.

This is not the way the world should be. Yet it is the way the world has been. Not just because of his family but it has been this way time and time again. In this war, his family is the aggressor. In other wars, they were the victims.

He thinks about such things because he prefers it to sleep. For if he sleeps, his mind will be haunted by the things he cannot undo. If he could trade his life for Jin’s he would. He would send her back here in his place but that would be belittling her sacrifice. She is depending on him to care for their son and he will. He will forever be haunted by the lies he told her, the things he did not say. He thought he was protecting her, but maybe his lies are what killed her.

He was afraid, afraid she would no longer love him. That if she saw the real him, knew the things he and his family had done, she would be disgusted and afraid. That even if she stayed it would be because of Jinhai, not out of love for him. He decided to tell her just enough to answer her questions and calm her fears. But never the whole truth, only bits and pieces of it.

He thinks maybe his destiny has never changed, just his perception of it. He will become Fire Lord, ruling the same nation that his ancestors had. But now, he will do so after tearing down what his father and sister have built.

{the apology}

They slowly enter the town as Jinhai sits on Plum and Zuko walks alongside him. As they walk through the town, a shiver of familiarity goes through Zuko. The crop fields and winding dirt roads look the same as most villages but this place, it feels different from other villages. He looks at the buildings and remembers the wood fencing, slanted roofs, and white sidings. He tenses up when he realizes whose village this is, it’s _her_ village.

Jinhai narrows his sharp eyes as he notices the change in his father’s demeanor.

“You know this place.” Jinhai says, not as a question but a statement.

He would generally praise his son for being perceptive but not now, not here. A deep sense of shame comes over Zuko.

“I stopped here with your grandfather on our way to Ba Sing Se.”

“Did you stay here long?”

“No, not long. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just that there’s this lady looking at us like she knows you.” Jinhai points towards her using his chin.

Zuko thanks the spirits that his son had the tact to not point using his finger.

Zuko holds his breath as a young woman approaches them. She is wearing a white and pink hanbok and has a tight-lipped smile on her face.

“Hello, traveler. I see that you have an ostrich-horse. I hope you didn’t steal this one too.” She says sweetly but with anger in her eyes.

Jinhai looks at the woman then looks back at Zuko, his face not revealing much but Zuko knows that his son is deeply interested in what this woman is saying.

Zuko rubs the nape of his neck, “Hello, Song. I hope you and your mother are in good health.”

Song raises her eyebrow slightly, “Oh, at least you are not pretending to not know me.”

“No, I could never do that.”

He focuses on her face; she has bags under her eyes but her russet brown eyes still have a twinkle in them.

“Good.”

Song pushes her hair from her face as she takes a look at Jinhai.

“So, where are you headed with this handsome young man?”

“Oh, my apologies. Song, this is my son Jinhai. Jinhai, this is Song. She helped care for my uncle when we passed through here.”

“Hello, I’m pleased to make your acquaintance,” Jinhai says respectfully.

“Likewise.” Song responds with a smirk.

“Would you and your son like to stop by for tea?”

“Oh no, we do not wish to trouble you,” Zuko says quickly.

“No, I insist.”

“Of course.”

Zuko feels as if every sense of his is heightened. The air feels chillier and the wind stronger. He must apologize, he knows that it will not be enough, but he must apologize before Song and her mother.

Once they reach the front of the house, he sees an older man sitting silently in a rocking chair. His eyes are hazy, and he does not pay the guests any mind.

“This is my father, Enlai. He came back to us six years ago.” Song says as she notices Zuko looking at her father. 

Zuko tells the man hello but he does not respond or acknowledge him.

“One day, the Fire Nation just released most of the men.”

Zuko now understands why they would release them. Catatonic men have no value to a labor camp. He cannot bring himself to enter their house, not before he apologizes. He pauses in front of the door. Jinhai and Song look at him in confusion.

“What is wrong, Lee? It’s okay please come in.”

Zuko’s mouth goes dry and he starts to sweat. He knows that he must apologize but he has nothing to give them, at least not yet. He bows deeply and begins to speak.

“No, Song. It is not okay. I deceived you and your mother and stole from your family.”

Song’s mother comes through the door and looks upon the scene.

“Song, is that Lee?” She asks through clenched teeth. 

“Hello, ma’am I am the young man who you helped years ago. You and your daughter extended a great kindness to two strangers. I took advantage of that kindness and stole from you. I am deeply sorry for the hardship that I’ve caused you.”

Song speaks softly, “Why didn’t you just ask us? We would have lent the horse to you! Or you could have promised to pay us for it once you had the money!”

“I- I’m sorry. I know the words of a thief mean very little, but I am deeply ashamed of what I’ve done.”

Song’s mother breaks the silence.

“Why are you here?”

“My son and I are traveling from Ba Sing Se. There is something that I must do for my wife.”

“Well, Lee would you and your son like to come in for tea?” Song’s mother says flatly.

“Yes, of course.”

Zuko and Jinhai sit drinking their tea as Song and her parents regard them silently.

Song’s mother pays special attention to Jinhai.

“How old are you?”

“I’m eight.”

Song’s mother is shocked.

“Really? Most of the eight-year olds I know do not enjoy tea!”

Zuko smiles softly, “My son is not like most eight-year olds. He grew up in a tea shop.”

“Tea shop?” Song asks smoothly.

“Yes, I really like spending time with my dad and grandfather watching them make different blends,” Jinhai replies. 

The conversation continues as Jinhai excitedly talks about everything from his favorite blends to his favorite regulars.

It is midday when Zuko goes to the stable to feed Plum. He decides to refill the water and hay for the other animals in the stable and brushes them down.

His ears perks up as he hears someone enter the stable. He turns and sees that it is Song sporting a loose braid. 

“Where are you and your son going?” She asks softly. 

“We’ll know when we get there,” Zuko responds quickly. 

“Why don’t you head to the Chuje Islands?”

“The Chuje Islands?”

“Oh, yes. It is off the southern coast. Many are settling there.”

Zuko furrows his brow as he begins to consider this.

“Or you could stay here for a while and maybe get a job in town. There aren’t a lot of able-bodied men around here,” Song says hesitantly.

“I can’t,” Zuko replies firmly.

“Why don’t you think about it? All this traveling can’t be good for your son.” Song says gently.

“Jin, no! Did you not hear a single word I said? Jinhai and I can’t stay here!” Zuko says exasperated.

“Song.” She says delicately.

“What?”

“You called me Jin, my name is Song.”

“Song…I’m sorry.” Zuko runs his fingers through his inky hair.

“Is Jin your wife’s name?”

 _Is…_ he wants to tell her that Jin is dead so if she wants to be accurate, she should say _was._ But he doesn’t feel like baring his soul to her, so he just says, “Yes.”

“I can tell that you love her very much.” She says in a hushed tone. 

_Love_ , love is continuous like a stream, it never ends. He loves his dead wife like he loves his ~~dead~~ mother and dead cousin.

“I do.”

Song touches his shoulder gently. “Please, you and your son can stay here in the barn for the night.”

In a hushed voice, he tells her, “Thank you. One day, I will be able to repay you for your kindness.”

Song smiles but it doesn't meet her eyes, "I know."

The next day he and Jinhai get up at sunrise and leave.

{the king}

Many say the Avatar has been reborn. Others say that he will never be reborn for he was killed in the Avatar state, but since such a thing has never happened before no one could confirm that belief. He’s heard some people even say the Avatar spirit has been split among his companions. Others still say the air nomad was never the true Avatar and the true Avatar has yet to appear.

Zuko does not know what to believe. He knows what he saw, what he experienced. He knows that the air nomad was the true Avatar. So, he is inclined to believe either the first rumor or the second one but with matters of the spirits one is rarely ever certain.

Zuko and Jinhai have reached the port city of Gang. Zuko and Jinhai see a crowd of people gathering in an alley around a barefoot man in dusty brown traveler’s clothes as he instructs a juggling bear. The crowd watches as the bear juggles one then two then three then four balls as the man praises him. The crowd begins to disperse and Jinhai drops a coin for the performers.

Zuko has seen many strange sights in his life so far. The spirit of Avatar Roku destroying his temple, the Avatar destroying an entire fleet, his uncle flirting, but this has to be near the top. A man having a back and forth conversation with a bear. Zuko places his hand on Jinhai’s shoulder to take his son away from the odd scene but the man shouts after him.

“Wait don’t leave! Bosco and I have decided that you and your son seem very trustworthy. You both have high-born features.”

Zuko is not sure why he doesn’t just grab Jinhai and run but he decides to humor the man. This man is different. The cadence in his voice and his bearing remind Zuko of home. He behaves very similarly to some of the nobles of the Fire Court. The ones who spent their time hosting garden parties and playing card games.

“Do you want to know a secret?”

“Sure!” Jinhai responds quickly before Zuko can answer.

The man looks around then leans in closer to Zuko and Jinhai.

“The Avatar lives.”

Zuko grabs the man by the collar and pushes him up against the wall. He begins to whisper in the man’s ear.

“I don’t know why but for some reason I believe you. You will answer all my questions honestly and never speak to anyone of such things again,” Zuko says harshly.

“Yes, of course.”

“They say the Avatar died in Ba Sing Se, killed by lightning. How could he survive that?”

“One of his companions saved him. The waterbender, I don’t know how she did it, but she healed him. I saw it happen with my own eyes.”

“Where are they now?” Zuko asks raspingly.

“Last I heard they were heading to the South Pole with a fleet of Water Tribe warriors.” The man says earnestly.

“Who are you that you would be with the Avatar and his companions?” Zuko asks with suspicion.

“Well, naturally my given name is Kuei.” The man says plainly. He narrows his eyes at Zuko when he sees no recognition enter the man’s eyes.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?” Zuko asks, annoyed with having to deal with this strange man.

“I’m the Earth King,” the man says firmly.

Zuko laughs, a mirthless laugh.

( _Of course, of course this would happen to him! Why wouldn’t he get banished from his home? Why wouldn’t he fail at capturing the Avatar? Why wouldn’t his sister come and kill his wife? Why wouldn’t he come across the Earth King in a simple port town?)_

Jinhai tilts his head and furrows his brow at his father.

Zuko just shakes his head and ruffles Jinhai’s hair.

“Come on, buddy. Say goodbye to the nice gentleman, we have places to be.”

Jinnah bows slightly. “Goodbye sir, and I wish you safety on your travels.”

The Earth King looks at Jinhai in awe. “Young man, you are absolutely charming. When I return to my official residence, I shall make you a marquis.”

“A what?” Jinhai crinkles his nose as a crease appears between his brows.

“Jinhai, come on.” Zuko tugs his son’s arm to get him to walk away.

“So Dad, where are we headed?”

Zuko presses his lips together as he considers this question.

 _(The Chuje Islands or the Southern Water Tribe? Rebirth or revenge?_ _He thinks of Jin. Her bright smile, her kind eyes, her laugh. How she was so gentle with him. How she showed him that he could be loved and how he returned her love equally. How she didn't understand him or truly know him but she loved him anyways. How they created a home where the three of them felt nothing but joy and comfort. How Azula stole that from him. Stole that from Jinhai.)_

Zuko thinks he already knew his choice, that he had always known it. He remembers that his grandfather would tell him that the gods took amusement in the lives of men. He thinks that he may have been right. Why else would his life feel like a circle? His uncle would tell him that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Here he is, ten years older but maybe not wiser…on a boat towards the bottom of the world in search of a child that is no longer a child. He would laugh if it didn’t make him feel so terrible. Yet the purpose is different. When he was younger, he wanted to capture the Avatar to return home. Now he wants to help him defeat his family. If anyone had ever told him this was how his life would turn out, he would think them to be insane.

“The Southern Water Tribe.”

Later in their cramped and simple room, he looks at Jinhai, watching him enjoy his dumplings. He sighs because he never wanted this for him. His son should be playing with his friends, enjoying his new school, and lying to his mother because he ate extra sweets. Not on the run with his father because his aunt killed his mother. Not on a trade boat heading to the Southern Water Tribe to find an Avatar who may or may not be alive.

Jinhai places his hand on top of Zuko’s.

“Are we really going to meet the Avatar?” Jinhai asks with a bright smile. 

“If Agni is willing then yes,” Zuko responds clearly.

Jinhai chuckles as he says, “That guy was really weird! I can’t believe he's a royal.”

“Well, royals are weird overall.”

Jinhai raises an eyebrow at his father. “How do you know?”

“You forget that I am one,” Zuko says with mirth in his voice.

“Oh yeah! That explains why you are weird sometimes.” Jinhai says with a smile.

“Don’t act like you aren’t a royal too!” Zuko flushes at being teased by his son.

“I’m not one!”

“Well, as my son you are,” Zuko says gently. “Why do you think your grandfather and I would give you lessons in etiquette, geography, and history?”

“I thought you guys were punishing me,” Jinhai admits sheepishly as he looks away.

“No, we weren’t punishing you! We just wanted you to have a good education,” Zuko says defensively.

Jinhai rolls his eyes as he says, “If you say so, Dad.”

That night when he dreams, he smiles as he sees himself wielding lightning and pointing it towards his sister’s heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *absolutely hates reading sad Avatar stories* decides to write three sad chapters in a row. I know it is really angsty right now but please bear with me. The ending to this one will be happy.
> 
> The idea that the Avatar spirit split amongst Aang’s friends is a reference to one of my favorite Avatar stories “The Avatar Makes Three”, in which Zuko, Toph, and Katara are sent back to the past to save the world and the three of them are the Avatar at the same time. Go check it out, it is amazing!!
> 
> This chapter was inspired by a bunch of things: western movies, Logan (2017), and of course, Zuko Alone. If Jinhai comes across too mature for his age, its half on purpose (afterall, he's Azula's nephew, Ozai's grandson, and Iroh's grand-nephew) and half that I don't know how to write an actual child. 
> 
> But we are off to the Southern Water Tribe, baby! The next chapter is really what you all have been waiting for. Zuko and the gaang interacting!
> 
> *The Chuje Islands are group of islands in the Avatar universe that the Southern Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom fought over. The Kyoshi books imply that this dispute is what caused the Southern Water Tribe to be in a weakened political and military position during the 100 Year War.*


	5. the stranger

**chapter four** : the stranger

Hanta looks out to sea, watching the waves as they beat against the boat.

He loves the ocean, as any good tribesman would.

He loves the smell, that salt spray from the whitecaps and the breaking waves.

The ocean, the vast and majestic master, bringer of both life and destruction, always reminds him of how small his place is in the universe. 

And with his actions, he made it even smaller. Ever since he was a child, he wanted a simple life. A family, a peaceful home, and pride in his work. But in the South, with the war and the lack of opportunities, there was no life for him there. It was expected that he would be a warrior, that he would go into battle to defend their tribe, but he didn't want that life. So, when he was 16, he ran. Ran from his people, from his home.

He travelled across the Earth Kingdom, sleeping in fields and doing odd jobs. Eventually, he fell in with a group of Southerners in the city of Jian. They lived together and supported one another. He had a stable job at a hotel and good friends. He had a simple routine for a couple years. He went to work, spent his lunch break in the park, and played pai sho with his friends. He was happy until he saw _her._

The leaves were falling the day he first saw her from across the pond. She sat under an oak tree with three other girls enjoying quiet conversation. The other girls were pretty, but she stood out to him. She had a round face with light green almond shaped eyes and a button nose. She wore her chestnut hair in an elaborate _qitou_ with fresh pink flowers. From her moss green dress with gold accents, he could tell that she was wealthy. He didn’t want to get caught staring at her but right as he was about to turn away, she caught him. Instead of turning away in disgust, she held his gaze. She even winked and smiled at him. For Hanta it was like a fever came over him, and every day at the park he would glance over across the pond to look at her.

Overtime they would each sit closer and closer to each other until they ended up sitting next to each other. Her name was Sying, she was nineteen, and could play the pipa. He laughed at all her jokes and she listened to him tell stories of his home. The first time he kissed her, it was like he had never truly lived before that moment. They shared their secrets, hopes, and dreams under that oak tree. With her, it was all a dream. 

One day she didn’t come, and he woke up. He sat and waited for her, he waited so long that he was late returning to his shift. His boss yelled at him but all he could think of was her. He returned again the next day to wait for her. As he was about to leave, he noticed a flicker of white in the hollow of the tree. She had left him a note saying goodbye, that she was engaged to a businessman from Goaling, that she loved him, and would never forget him. In anger he burned the note, hoping it would help him forget her. Weeks and months passed, and he couldn’t forget her. He returned home, married, and started his own family but sometimes he would still think of her. He turns his head away from the sea and the memories. He sees a flash of green run past him. 

As the green slowed down to turn the corner, Hanta saw that it was a child, a little boy. Why was an Earth Kingdom child on his way to the Southern Water Tribe? Usually only traders from the southern coast bother to visit the South Pole. Harbor City wasn’t really a tourist attraction but maybe one of them wanted to take their child along to the tribe. He takes a sip of his ice wine and reminds himself that this journey is three weeks which is more than enough time to find out. He returns to his room and thinks of his family, his business, and his community. 

He looks over the small trinkets that he brought his family. A comb for his teenage daughter Amka, a stuffed fire ferret for Cupun, a stuffed lop-eared rabbit for Siqiniq, and a set of scented soaps for Sesi, his wife. He made sure to bring two distinct gifts for Cupun and Siqiniq, the twins were in that stage where they wanted to cement their individuality. He sighs because his daughters care very little about what supplies he got for the restaurant, just about what he’s gotten for them. He’ll have to work on getting them more interested in the business, it will belong to them one day. 

When Hanta woke up with an intense headache he realized that maybe he made a mistake to sit in his room drinking ice wine and reminiscing. As his head continued to pound, yes, he saw that he had definitely made a mistake.

He decides to get out of his cabin and sit on deck, the calm breeze soothing his mind. It is just past sunrise and he watches as the florid orange enters the sky. He decides to walk along the deck, and he sees the boy from the day before enjoying some bread and soy milk with a young man. They are both clad in tones of green and brown, so he was correct in his assessment of them being Earthfolk. He wonders what they are doing having breakfast this early. As he gets closer to them, he wonders if they are cousins but from the close resemblance, they must be brothers. The gentle care the young man shows the boy brings a smile to Hanta’s face. 

Hanta decides to walk up to them and cheerfully says, “Good morning! It is nice to see two brothers enjoying breakfast together.”

The young man turns his head and Hanta sees a crimson scar across his cheek. Burns were not uncommon among warriors in his tribe, but for such a young man to have such a severe one meant he must have experienced some great cruelty. A look of puzzlement appears on the young man’s face and the boy laughs.

“He’s not my brother, he’s my dad!” The boy says looking somewhat embarrassed but also slightly amused. 

Hanta’s eyes widen in shock, “I’m very sorry! I meant no offense to you or your son. My name is Hanta and I was just surprised to see that other people were up this early.”

The young man’s face softens, “It’s quite alright. You are not the first person to mistake us for brothers. My name is Lee and this is Jinhai. You already know he’s my son.”

“I am pleased to meet you both.” Hanta says firmly. 

“Would you- maybe like to join us?” Lee asks tentatively. 

“Why, of course!” Hanta responds with warmth in his eyes. 

They sit in comfortable silence as Hanta gets a closer look at the boy. “You know, I think my twin girls are around your age. You are nine right?”

Jinhai smiles as he tells Hanta he is eight not nine. 

“You have twins?” Jinhai asks with great enthusiasm. 

Hanta proceeds to tell them about his daughters, their family restaurant, their polar dog Ila, and the renovations being done in the tribe. 

Lee’s ears perk up at the mention of the renovations and he leans in slightly as he sips his milk. 

“Renovations have been done to the tribe?” Lee asks hesitantly. 

“Yes, several years ago a group of Northerners arrived to help us rebuild. Since then more and more Northern waterbenders, healers, and warriors have arrived on our shores.” 

Lee listens thoughtfully and asks, “Have your warriors returned?”

Hanta is slightly baffled, “Of course! I mean, the war is over now. We even have a new head chieftain, the first in 80 years. He’s the descendant of the last head chieftain but still, Head Chieftain Hakoda deserves the position more than anyone.”

Lee appears to be in deep thought, taking in the information he was told like it was something of great value for him. “Does he happen to be Hakoda the Sea Wolf?”

“How do you know? And yes, they are one and the same.” Hanta is surprised and happy that Hakoda’s legend is well-known amongst Earth Kingdom people. 

“Oh, uh. Word travels fast in the Earth Kingdom.” Lee says meekly. 

“It does, it definitely does.” Hanta says with a half-smirk. 

Over the next three weeks, Hanta enjoys his time with his new friends. They play pai sho, cards, and discuss their experiences in the Earth Kingdom. He found that Jinhai was especially interested in the landscape and various animals of the South Pole. He loved hearing Hanta explain the different types of snow. He and Lee would talk about the similarities of working in a tea shop and a restaurant. He tells them how he travels to the Earth Kingdom for certain spices and supplies. He details how he is trying to create various fusion dishes to blend the food he grew to love in Jian with his culture’s cuisine. He even offers Lee a job serving tea in his restaurant if he found himself staying in the South Pole for a while. 

Zuko on the other hand was not quite sure of what to make of his new relationship with Hanta. He wanted to say the man was a friend, but can friendships be built on dishonesty? He considers that he built a whole life with Jin on dishonesty...he pushes the thought from his mind and returns to Hanta. 

The man was short and stocky with icy eyes that somehow held great warmth. Zuko sees more warmth in Hanta’s eyes than he ever saw in the golden eyes of his father. He was confused at first as to why a man of Hanta’s age, older than his father but younger than his uncle, would go out of his way to make conversation with him and Jinhai. But after learning that Hanta’s twin daughters were around Jinhai’s age it made sense. As Zuko has learned throughout this journey, Jinhai has an effect on people. 

People who would have turned Zuko away or been suspicious of him, moderate their tone and behavior around Jinhai. They become calmer, gentler, and more open. And of course, why wouldn’t they? Jinhai is a handsome boy with a twinkle in his eyes and a gentle spirit. He is curious, good-mannered, friendly, and compassionate. As a child, Zuko was compassionate and kind but quite shy, preferring to spend time with his mother, cousin, or uncle. The few friends he did make in school, he was not allowed to have them play at the palace. To his father, having friends over was a reward for meeting expectations. Zuko rarely ever met his father’s expectations. So if Hanta can be considered to be Zuko’s friend, Zuko is unsure of how to really have a friend. But he knows that friends don’t use friends for information, like he is using Hanta for. 

Zuko feels guilty for taking advantage of Hanta's friendliness but he needs to get more information about the South Pole and Chief Hakoda. Hanta is his best option for gaining that information. He assumes that the Avatar is in hiding and the Southerners likely will not allow Zuko to speak to him directly. He has to really plan out what he wants to say to convince the Chieftain of his trustworthiness. But maybe he won’t even have to speak to the Chieftain, maybe he’ll just find the Avatar and talk to him directly. But no, he cannot just walk into their village again without following the proper channels. That would be aggressive and disrespectful, just like he behaved the last time he was there. 

He remembers one of uncle’s favorite sayings, “when entering a village, obey the village.” It was a saying that Zuko never cared for during his quest for the Avatar. He now wishes that he had. Because of the actions of his youth, he likely will be received much more harshly in the village than he would have anyway. He’s the prince of the Fire Nation so a great degree of hostility would be expected but now he’s the prince of the Fire Nation returning years after scaring a crowd of defenseless women and children. He runs his fingers through his hair, what a mess he has gotten himself into. And Jinhai as well. He doesn’t want to use his child or put him in harm's way but maybe bringing Jinhai along to meet this Chieftain Hakoda will soften their reception. If he came to the village to do harm, he wouldn’t have brought his child along to watch. Actually, that sounds like the exact thing his father would do. 

Spirits, it sounds like no matter what he does he’s screwed. He wishes his uncle were here. He could desperately use his counsel. Zuko doesn’t have much time to figure out what to say, the boat will be docking in two days. 

He wakes up at sunrise and sits in the cabin waiting for Jinhai to wake up. The sun calls to Jinhai but since he is young it is not as immediate as it is for Zuko. He washes his face and takes the time to look at himself in the mirror. 

He has been sleeping better so the bags under his eyes have faded but he looks older, tenser. His hair has grown past his shoulders and he hasn’t shaved in weeks. He takes his hand and covers his scar and all he sees is _him_. He had always looked like his father and when he was a child he had taken that as a point of pride. But now, after the scar, he feels adrift. How could his father look at him, look at his own face, and burn him? Maybe his father felt that by scarring and banishing Zuko, he was sending away the parts of himself he wished to forget. 

He holds his head in his hands, it will not do well to get unfocused, especially today. He has a task to focus on. After weeks in travelling, he is close, so close to the person he seeks. 

He should probably tie his hair back because of the wind but with it loose around his face it has done a lot to hide his scar. He lets out a sigh as he combs through his hair and decides to trim his beard as neatly as he can. 

Zuko smiles as he hears Jinhai yawn and turns to watch his son stretch his arms. 

“Good morning, buddy.”

Zuko helps Jinhai get dressed and combs his hair as neatly as he can. Jin would not want her son to look ill-mannered. 

After Zuko finishes, Jinhai gets ready to sprint out of the room for breakfast but Zuko stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Jinhai, there are some things we have to talk about before we reach the tribe.” 

Zuko hates having to talk to Jinhai about things like this. He hates to remind Jinhai that because of the war he may overhear people say cruel things about Fire Nation people. That these people were hurt by the war and cruelties were done to them but that doesn’t make everything they say about Fire Nation people true. Every nation has cruel people and kind people. It is all about the choices that one makes, the type of person one choses to be. That all he can do is be kind to everyone and treat others with respect. 

Jinhai nods because he has heard all of this before from Zuko, Jin, and Iroh. But sometimes, you need to be reminded, and sometimes Zuko himself needs to be reminded of such things. 

They walk out to the deck and meet Hanta for breakfast. The three of them sit together and eat jook. Zuko hates jook but this is the only thing on the ship that is semi-edible. 

Hanta has a smirk on his face as he says, “You know, I really like you and your son.” He continues, "I like you guys so much that I’m giving you guys the opportunity to stay at my luxury resort.”

“Luxury resort? I thought you said you had turned the upstairs of your home into an inn?” Zuko is not sure whether to be confused or irritated. 

“Inn, resort, isn’t it all the same thing at the end of the day?” 

Zuko replies, “No, Hanta it's not, not at all.” 

Hanta laughs, “This is why I need a friend like you. To keep my feet on the ground.”

“You don’t have anyone else to do that?” Zuko narrows his eyes at Hanta. 

Hanta smiles a half-grin, “Well, I do have my wife but she shuts down most of my ideas on principle. You, my friend, provide an outsider’s perspective.” 

“Well, Jinhai will need a place to rest while I go handle my business so we very much appreciate your hospitality,” Zuko says softly. 

“Rest?” Jinhai asks as he raises an eyebrow at his father. 

“Yes, take a nap or something.” Zuko says coolly. 

“A nap! Dad, I’m eight! I’m not a baby!” 

Zuko lets out a breath, “Even eight-year olds need a break sometimes.” 

Jinhai narrows his eyes at his father and firmly says, “I won’t nap.” 

Zuko grins and replies, “Okay, we’ll see.”

Hanta chuckles as they walk off the ship into the dock. 

“My daughter, Amka should be here soon with the sled.” 

They stand on the dock and Zuko looks and sees a bustling harbor. People mulling around in various shades of blue, moving supplies back and forth. This cannot be the place he once visited but it is. It has changed, completely transformed. 

“It’s amazing, isn’t it? I never thought, I’d see my tribe look like this. Just wait until we get into town.”

Zuko watches as a teenager approaches them on a sled. She wears her coal hair in two braided twintails and Zuko can see from her eyes and smile that she is Hanta’s daughter. 

Once she stops the sled, she practically flies off the sled into Hanta’s arms.

“Dad! I missed you!”

“I missed you too, kiddo.”

She released her father from the hug and fixes her sky-blue eyes on Zuko and Jinhai.

“Dad! Do I have to tell you to introduce me to your friends?” She says as she smiles at the pair.

“Oh, this is Lee and his son Jinhai. This is my daughter, Amka.” Hanta says with pride in his voice. 

“Wait! Son!?!” Amka says as she shakes both of their hands. 

Hanta laughs, “That was my reaction, too. Now let’s get going, I promised them a ride into town. I also offered for them to stay in the loft.” 

“Wow! Mom can try out her new recipes on them! We could always use some more taste testers.”

“You mean, I’ll get to try food?” Jinhai can barely hide his excitement. 

“Of course! Why own a restaurant, if you can’t have your friends try out new dishes?” Hanta says he pats Jinhai’s shoulder. 

“Sorry, the sled is kind of small,” Amka says after Zuko and Jinhai help them load the supplies onto the sled. 

‘That is not a problem, Jinhai will sit on my lap,” Zuko says smoothly. 

“Dad!?!” Jinhai says as he flushes, clearly embarrassed. 

“Jinhai.” Zuko says firmly, signaling that it wasn’t a discussion. 

Jinhai huffs and looks down as the four of them sit in the sled on the way to the city. Zuko fixes his eyes on the gentle slopes of the pearly sea, feeling as the snow leaves sharp kisses across his cheeks. He looks down and sees Jinhai starting to fall asleep. He smiles but he knows that Jinhai would want to look at all the snow. 

Zuko whispers in his ear, “Buddy, look. Look at all the snow.”

Jinhai looks up and Zuko watches as his son’s eyes widen in awe. 

“This is nothing like the Earth Kingdom!’ Jinhai says as he looks out at the slopes, mountains, and sparse trees all covered in snow. 

“No, Jinhai. It’s not.” Zuko says with a half-smirk. When he came here when he was young, he just wanted to capture the Avatar. He and his uncle would stop at various towns and ports across the world and he never took a single moment to find beauty in them. To see that these places held value for the people that lived there. Now, here with Jinhai he can see what he missed. He can teach Jinhai to be a better person than he was. 

As they get closer to the city, they pass near a large group of sealskin tents and igloos. They see children running and playing without a care in the world. 

Hanta leans over and says, “Yeah, not everyone wants to live in the city. Our tribe never looked like this, not even before the raids. Many think that it goes against our ways and prefer to live as our ancestors did, simply.”

Zuko nods, understanding that many prefer the old ways. He remembers that his ancestors fought long and hard to unite the clans of the Fire Nation and to get the people to see themselves as one. He wonders if they ever imagined that the unity they built would be used to wage war on the world. 

Zuko sees a large gate made entirely of ice with a beautiful arch. As they enter the city, he sees ice buildings of various sizes, some reinforced by brick and wood. They all have wooden doors and shoji. He feels his heart sink into his stomach as he remembers the sparse villages that he once saw, what they were reduced to because of the raids. He vows to make amends to them in any way that he can. As Fire Lord, he will help in whatever way they allow him to. 

Once they arrive at the inn, Zuko helps Hanta carry the supplies inside. As they do so, he can’t help but notice people, mainly young women stopping to look at him. He is used to stares but people are usually much more discreet about it. 

Zuko whispers sharply into Hanta’s ear, “It is really this rare for people for the Earth Kingdom to visit?”

“You think they are looking at you because of your clothes?” Hanta says teasingly as he looks at Zuko. 

Zuko doesn’t respond. 

“You really have no idea.” Hanta says. 

“No idea of what?”

“No idea that you are a striking young man!”

Zuko rolls his eyes, he hates being teased, “Can we go inside now?” 

After being introduced to Sesi, Cupun, and Siqiniq, they all sit and enjoy a meal of seaweed noodles, kale cookies, and tea. 

“I am not surprised at all that my husband goes away for three weeks and comes home with friends. Hanta never met a person he couldn’t charm.” Sesi says with a grin. 

Hanta looks at his wife with a gentle smile, “Sesi, I think this time, I got charmed.” 

The twins and Jinhai hit it off immediately, and they all listen intently as Jinhai describes the parks and festivals of Ba Sing Se.

Zuko feels guilty, so guilty. He hates lying, he hates living this way. Wandering across the world with Jinhai, never fully safe or comfortable. It’s a burden, a burden he must carry because of his blood, because of what he has done. But Jinhai has done nothing to deserve this life. 

Zuko will spend the rest of his life trying to make this up to Jinhai, to give him the best life possible. But before he can do that, he must find the Avatar. 

After their meal, Sesi and Hanta take them up to see the loft. 

“So here is the loft!” Hanta says. 

Zuko looks at the room, it is well-decorated in various shades of blue, white, and brown. There are animal pelts and skins along the walls and floors with sunlight coming through the shoji. 

Jinhai shivers and Zuko pulls his son closer to him. Zuko himself is uncomfortable in the poles but Jinhai is young and does not yet have the training to regulate his temperature using his bending. Not that Jinhai would want to learn the technique even if he was ready for Zuko to teach it to him. 

“Oh, you poor things! You must be freezing!” Sesi leaves the room and returns with some simple trousers, boots, and parkas. 

Jinhai looks nervous at the prospect of wearing anything other than Earth Kingdom clothes. 

Zuko who has for a long time been unable to wear his nation’s colors and fabrics, kneels down to Jinhai, “It is not the clothes that make you who you are, it is what you are inside. You will always be Earth Kingdom no matter what colors you wear.”

Jinhai gives Zuko a soft smile and gets dressed. 

Later, Zuko readies himself to go meet Chieftain Hakoda. He sees Jinhai playing in front of the inn with the twins and their dog, Ila. Zuko calls Jinhai over, kneels down and places his hand on Jinhai’s shoulder. 

“Jinhai, I need you to stay here with Hanta and his family. Mind your manners.”

“Wait, where are you going again?”

“Remember, I’m going to go talk to the Chieftain.”

“Oh okay. So you’ll talk to him and then I can meet the Avatar?”

“Yes...then I’ll take you to meet the Avatar.”

Zuko ruffles his son’s hair. “I’ll be back, make sure you behave.”

As he turns, he almost bumps into Amka. 

“Hi, sorry. I wanted to ask where I could find Chieftain Hakoda?” Zuko asks rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Oh, the Head Chieftain’s office is in town hall, I’ll walk you there.”

Zuko replies hesitantly, “Are you sure? I don’t want you to have to go out of your way to help me. I’m sure you have plenty of other things to do.”

“No, it's no problem! You are my father’s friend and it’s nice to have some new faces around town. We don’t get many Earth Kingdom people here, just traders. So are you going to stay in town long?” Amka says with bright eyes. 

“I am not exactly sure.”

“Well if you ever want a tour of town, I’m sure my dad would be glad to give you one.”

“Yes, your father is very kind.” _Too kind_ , Zuko thinks. 

As they walk through town, he notices people continuing to look at him as he walks by. 

“Oh, don’t mind them, it's just that you are a stranger.” Amka says gently. 

_Stranger_ , he finds that he prefers that word to what they would call him if they knew his true identity. 

“Amka!! Amka!!” Two girls around twelve run up to her, with white fur in their hair and on their shoulders. “Look at us! We got to brush the bison today and now we are covered in fur!”

“Woka! Tunerk! Can’t you see that I am with someone? This is Lee, he is a visitor from the Earth Kingdom.”

The two girls shake Zuko’s hand. 

They both begin to look particularly nervous, and the taller one says, “Did we say bison? We meant our polar dog...our really hairy polar dog.”

_A bison...white fur…_

It must be the Avatar’s bison; it has to be. 

They continue walking up the ice stairwell into a large building, Zuko takes a deep breath, and goes over in his mind what he should say. He is at a significant disadvantage, here; he is the prince of their enemy; he had personally visited their tribe and harassed their people. There is no way to guarantee that he will be believed. But he must try, anyways. All he can do in the end is try. 

“Wait, here. I’ll go talk to his wife; she’ll lead you in.”

“Malina! Hi! How are you?”

“Hi, Amka. Is there an emergency? You can’t keep dropping in here to let the Chieftain know your suggestions. You have to wait for council meetings like everyone else.” Malina presses her lips together. 

“Oh no! I’m not here for myself, I’m here for this man.”

“A man...”

“Yes, he’s a traveler from the Earth Kingdom, a friend of my father’s. Oh and Malina, he’s actually quite handsome with bright eyes and his son is adorable.” Amka says excitedly. 

“Amka, what is he here for? What’s his name?”

“His name is Lee but I’m not sure why he is here.” 

Malina rolls her eyes as she turns to walk out into the corridor. “Fine. Amka, thank you. I’ll handle it from here.”

Malina walks out into the corridor and sees a tall man dressed in a simple parka with trousers. He had a lithe but muscular frame, shoulder-length dark hair, and a beard. 

“Hello, Lee is it?”

“Hello. Yes, I go by Lee.”

“My name is Malina, I am Chieftain Hakoda’s wife. Why do you need to meet with him?”

“Hello, Malina. If it’s alright, it is a sensitive matter that I must address with the Chieftain personally.”

“Well...okay. Please follow me.”

She opens the door to an office, “Hakoda, there is someone here to see you.”

Zuko enters the room and looks around the office. It is very lived-in with maps, charts, scrolls, and books of various sizes. The wooden cabinets and desk are well-made with furs covering the floor. In the middle of the room, there is a couch and two chairs with a small blue table in between. Behind the desk is an older man going over a scroll. The man stands and walks towards Zuko. Zuko can tell that this man is a warrior, but his eyes are kind and Zuko feels that he is a fair man. 

“Hello, son. What can I help you with?”

Instead of replying, Zuko bows before him.

“Young man, we don’t bow- “

“Chieftain Hakoda, my name is Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation. I would like to beg your forgiveness for the harm I’ve personally caused towards your tribe and the harm that my nation has caused here.”

“Prince Zuko?!?!! You have to be kidding, son? No one has seen Prince Zuko in years, many say he’s dead. Who are you and what are you really here for? Did Bato send you because I don’t find this funny.” Hakoda is very puzzled by this man, his gestures, and his mannerisms. 

Zuko firmly replies, “No, Chieftain Hakoda, this is not a joke. What I am saying is the truth. I _am_ Prince Zuko and I would like to meet with the Avatar. I want to help him defeat the Fire Lord.” 

“The Avatar is dead, everyone knows that.” Hakoda says sharply. 

“No sir, I know the Avatar is alive.”

Hakoda furrows his brows as he looks at the young man, “Really? How could you know such a thing?”

“It sounds ridiculous, but the Earth King told me.”

“First you claim to be Prince Zuko and now you claim to know the Earth King.” Hakoda furrows his brow, “If you are who you claim to be then my children will know.”

“Your children? Why would they know?” Zuko asks shyly. 

“My children were the Avatar’s companions. They had many run-ins with Prince Zuko and would be able to recognize him.” Hakoda says in a steady voice. 

_The Chieftain’s children were the Avatar’s companions.  
The Chieftain’s children were the Avatar’s companions._

_Spirits, the Chieftain’s children, they were the Avatar’s companions._

Zuko feels sweat begin to form at his forehead, his mouth dries, and he feels his face flush. The waterbending girl and her gangly brother were the Chieftain’s children. 

Zuko knew he would have to deal with them eventually, but he thought that he would have been able to talk to the Avatar first. Ash and bone, he curses under his breath, maybe he was born under an unlucky star. 

“Do you have an issue with me calling for them?” Hakoda narrows his eyes at him. 

Zuko wants to sound firm but his voice comes out hoarse, “No- no, of course not Chieftain.” 

Hakoda turns to his wife who has been standing in silence either in shock or fear. 

“Malina, please go get my children and tell them to come here at once.” She all but sprints out of the room. 

“While my wife is retrieving them, would you like some tea?” 

Hakoda and Zuko sit in silence drinking their tea. 

Hakoda continues to look Zuko over, “You don’t look like a liar but I can’t bring myself to believe you. I guess we’ll find out the truth soon enough.”

Zuko nods as he tries to steady his breathing, focusing on the floor. He wonders what he can say to them, how much he should reveal, how much of his pain he should divulge. He doesn’t want their pity; he doesn’t need their understanding. He just needs the Avatar. And he knows the Avatar lives no matter what they say.

He turns his head as three figures run into the room.

They look at him with faces of shock, disgust, and confusion. He recognizes two of them, the waterbender girl...well she’s not a girl anymore and her brother, he grew from that scrawny kid and looks like a formidable warrior. The third, she’s clearly Earth Kingdom but he’s never seen her before, she must be the Avatar’s earthbending master. 

They don’t seem like they are about to say anything, so he stands and says, “Hello, Zuko here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was struggling to write this chapter. I know I just threw everything but the kitchen sink at you guys but it had to be done. Now this, this is where our adventure starts. Zuko is in the South and shit is about to get real. This is where I would really love to hear your thoughts. I had a couple OCs in this, I personally dislike OCs on principle but I had to put them in to give Zuko and Jinhai some sort of comfort. They desperately need friends rn and Hanta's family gives them a window in the South/some sense of normalcy. Things are going well for them...for now but we all know how unlucky Zuko is. About the cliffhanger ending...please don't hate me, it just turned out to be the natural place to end the chapter.
> 
> If you guys have questions about my depiction of the South please let me know. I got a lot of my info from reading the North and South comics. We know that after book 1, Pakku took a bunch of people to the South Pole to begin to help them recover and develop. So in this story, book 1 happened before Jinhai was born so its been over eight years. We also know that after the Southern raids and the Siege of the North the Fire Nation never bothered with the tribes again, so that explains why they were allowed to develop without any interference. Malina is Hakoda's girlfriend in North and South and in my story she's been in the South for a couple of years so I made her his wife. As for her relationship with Sokka and Katara, you'll see in future chapters. 
> 
> I have a personal headcanon that it might be impossible for firebenders to live in the poles long term because of the midnight sun. For me, that would explain why the poles were never colonized.


	6. the prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is no where near as dark as I've seen other people write when they've handled this topic but the tags of this story are relevant to this chapter.

**chapter five** : the prince 

And in that moment, Zuko opened the floodgates. When he walked into the Chieftain’s office, he hadn’t really pictured how the meeting would go but he didn’t think it would end up like this. He feels a headache forming as the room descends in the chaos. Everyone begins to talk at once and he can only make out certain phrases. 

“He’s the real Prince Zuko!”

“Dad, this has to be a trap!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’d never forget his face!”

“What would he be doing here?!”

“It’s a trap!”

Until, one voice rises above the rest. He looks at her, she is wearing thick blue clothes lined with fur like he is but from her stance and her seafoam eyes, he can see that she is Earth Kingdom. The girl, who had been silent, decides to speak. 

“Why don’t we hear him out?”

Hakoda looks at his children then turns to Zuko with a hard look, “Alright, fine. What are you doing here?”

Zuko lets out a breath, this is it, this is the moment that could make or break him. Everything he’s done, the two months of traveling across the Earth Kingdom culminates in this. He starts with an apology. “I- I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I’m a different person now, I’ve learned and grown. I’m not here to hurt anyone, I want to help.”

They all just stare at him, so he continues, “The Avatar, I want to help him defeat my Father.”

“The Avatar is dead.” The waterbender says with a clenched jaw as Zuko watches her fiddle with her water skin. 

“He’s not,” Zuko says firmly. 

The waterbender raises her voice and squints her eyes at him, “Are you calling me a liar?”

Zuko’s voice begins to waver, "I--I just-- I just want to talk to him. Please, ca-can I at least do that?”

Her brother crosses his arms and glares at Zuko, “He’s dead.” 

Zuko gently replies, “He’s not, I know he’s not. I’m not trying to capture him, I’ve changed. I just wish to speak with him.” 

The waterbender is almost enraged and Zuko can see a vein in her neck throbbing, “I don’t care about this transformation that you say you’ve had, I’ll never let you speak to Aang!” 

Zuko slowly responds, “I thought you said he was dead?” 

“I—-“ The waterbender avoids his gaze. 

Zuko sits up straighter and lifts his head up, “Look, let’s stop playing games here. We all know the Avatar is alive. I would just like to have a simple conversation with him.” 

The earthbender asks, “Why are you so sure he is alive?” 

“The Earth King told me. Also, I know his bison lives.” 

“Wait, the Earth King told you? Where did you meet the Earth King?” The warrior asks as he creases his brow. 

Zuko replies flatly, “In the port city of Gang, he and his bear are street performers.”

“How did you know he wasn’t an imposter or a random crazy person?” The warrior says flailing his arms around. 

Zuko tilts his head, “Let’s just say as a prince, I can recognize other royals.” 

“And what about the bison, how does that factor in?” Hakoda asks firmly. 

Zuko replies as if lecturing to a class, “An animal guide is deeply tied to their companion. If their companion dies, the animal would die soon after. It has been over two months since the coup of Ba Sing Se and the bison still lives, therefore the Avatar still lives.” 

“Why do you even know that and why should we believe you?” The waterbender asks harshly. 

“I spent three years searching for the Avatar, I found out everything I could about Air Nomad culture and Avatar spirituality.” Zuko says as he recalls those dark months in his room, sitting deep into the night, passing time by going over scrolls with only candlelight to comfort him. When he would flat out refuse to rest, to eat, to interact with his crew. 

“Obsessed much?” The waterbender says with a sneer. 

Zuko firmly replies, “I searched for him because I had to.” 

“Really? Who's to say you didn’t come because you still _have_ to search for him?” The waterbender crosses her arms and leans towards him. 

“If I was still chasing you why now? Why would I take a break for several years, have a child then start searching again?” Zuko asks sharply. 

“How are we supposed to know what goes on in your dark and twisted- wait a child?” The warrior replies, befuddled by Zuko’s claim. 

“Yes, a child. I have a son.” Zuko says calmly. 

The warrior is skeptical and furrows his brows, “You? A son? There’s no way you have a son! How do you have a kid?” 

Zuko looks at him, confused about how to respond. Is the warrior, a grown man, truly unaware of how children are conceived? What do they teach people here in this place? Zuko decides to tell him the same way he explained it to Jinhai. 

“Well...um...when a man loves a woman-“ 

Laughter erupts from the earthbender, she holds her stomach, almost overcome by it. 

The warrior looks equal parts infuriated, embarrassed, and disgusted. 

He stumbles over his words as he replies, “No! Why would you think that’s what I meant!?! Obviously, I know how that works! Why would you think a grown man didn’t—“ 

“Snoozles, you gotta admit you walked right into that one.” The earthbender says with a smirk. 

“No, I do not have to admit that!” The warrior, _Snoozles_ , all but shouts out. 

The waterbender remains focused. 

“Really? If you have a child...where he is?” She asks coldly. 

“He isn’t lying-“ The earthbender begins. 

“No, I want to know! Tell me! Is he back in the Fire Nation in a warm and comfortable bed in the palace?” 

Zuko lifts his chin and raises his voice, “No, he’s not in the palace!” Do these people not know he was banished, considered to be a _traitor_ to his nation and bloodline? “He’s here at an inn in town!” 

“You brought your son here!” The waterbender shouts as her eyes widen in disbelief. 

Zuko coolly replies as he crosses his arms and leans back into the chair. He looks away from the waterbender, “Why, was I supposed to abandon him?”

The warrior lets out a breath and rolls his eyes, “This is great, this is simply amazing. We have Prince Zuko back from the dead claiming to want to help Aang! And he even brought his spawn along with him!” 

Zuko squints his eyes and bares his teeth as his voice deepens, “You would do well to watch your mouth where my son is concerned, tribesman.”

“Really why?” The warrior raises his eyebrow and tilts his head. 

Zuko replies harshly, “I doubt you would be able to continue to make such remarks without any teeth but I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing you try.”

“Why you haughty...jerkbender!”

“Where is your son?” Hakoda says calmly, moving to stand in front of his children and their companion. 

Zuko pinches the bridge of his nose, “He’s at Hanta’s inn.”

“I will go get Iqiak, he knows of Hanta, and then we can walk to the inn to confirm his story. Can I trust you all to stay in this room without attacking each other?” Hakoda asks firmly as he looks at the four young people. When Hakoda realizes that he cannot trust them, he pauses and places his hands on his hips. 

“Chieftain, I’ll make sure everything stays calm.” The earthbender says. 

“Thanks.” Hakoda says as he exits the room. 

So the four of them sit waiting. The earthbender behind the desk in the Chieftain’s chair, the warrior on the desk, and the waterbender on the couch directly across from Zuko- staring at him. 

Zuko thinks of what his uncle or Jin would do. The two of them were friendly to an almost obnoxious degree, they never went anywhere without making a friend. Jin would often tell Jinhai that a stranger is only a friend you haven’t met yet. Zuko would roll his eyes at her occasionally but he found her innocence endearing. She reminded him of himself _before._ In this situation, Jin and Uncle would definitely be as friendly as possible, making light conversation. Zuko rubs the back of his neck, “So what do you think of the weather? It’s… definitely cold here.”

The three others look at him with blank stares. 

_(Okay, so that was a complete failure, Zuko! What to say next, what to say next? Oh, you forgot something! Uncle and Jin would always ask people their names first.)_

Zuko softly asks, “What are your names?”

“Why don’t you think about it for a while and then give it a guess?” The waterbender says with a snarl.

The earthbender, he has no chance of figuring out her name since he’s never met her before. But the two siblings maybe if he thinks hard enough he’ll remember something. So Zuko sits trying to remember their names. It had been so many years since he has seen them. It almost feels like that was another person’s life. Those lonely, cold, and bitter days on his ship with nothing but anger and pain in his heart. He remembers a name.

He smiles tightly, his customer service smile, and asks, “Which one of you is Appa?”

*

Later, Hakoda returns with Iqiak, one of his guards. The guard approaches Zuko with handcuffs. 

Zuko scowls, "You are not putting those on me.”

“It’s to restrain you and you are in no position to make demands.” The guard says gratingly with deep hate in his icy eyes. Zuko wants to laugh, he doesn’t need his hands to bend...he can breathe fire for Agni’s sake. 

Zuko clenches his jaw, “I won’t be paraded through town like a criminal. I won’t have my son seeing me like that!”

“That’s if you even really have a son!” The young warrior says. 

Zuko pushes his hair back with his hand and waves his hand dismissively. “Anyways, there’s no point to them. If I try anything the waterbender will kill me.” 

The others look at the waterbender, she just smirks and glares at Zuko, “I’m glad that you are aware of that.”

“Fine, no restraints. Let’s just go.” Hakoda says. 

The six of them walk to the inn, Zuko walks behind Chieftain Hakoda and Iqiak, with the earthbender at his side, and the waterbender and her brother behind him. They walk in almost total silence. Zuko focuses his vision ahead but briefly glances at the people milling about at the various carts and stands in the center of town. It is midday so the center of town is bustling. He wonders if the people have any inkling of his identity yet. 

The walk to Hanta’s inn isn’t that long but it feels like the longest moments of Zuko’s life. The walk could have been days, months, or even years. Zuko knows Jinhai is real, so they’ll see him but what happens after that? He’s not the first Fire National to have a child. Having a child doesn’t make a person good or trustworthy. Zuko knows that better than most. 

When they reach the inn, Zuko expects to find Jinhai still playing with Cupun and Siqiniq but he doesn’t expect the scene he finds. The three of them are just huddled by a snowman hugging. 

Zuko sees Jinhai’s mop of hair as his son raises his head to look over. 

“Dad!” Jinhai runs over to hug Zuko with Cupun and Siqiniq running behind him as their chestnut braids fall behind them. 

“What were you guys doing?” Zuko says with laughter in his voice as he ruffles his son’s coal hair. 

“Oh, hi Lee! It's just we were playing tag and when we would tag Jinhai we noticed he was really warm like our fireplace, so we decided to hug him. Are all Earthfolk warm like him?” Cupun says speedily as Zuko tries to catch each word. 

Zuko looks at the girl with a soft smile, “No, not that many. Jinhai here is special.”

“Oh hello.” Jinhai says smoothly as he looks at the group of people behind Zuko. 

“Jinhai, this is the Chieftain that I told you I had to meet.” Zuko says as the Chieftain moves closer to Jinhai, almost looking him over. 

Jinhai bows in the Earth Kingdom fashion, “Hello, sir. My name is Jinhai and I am pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“Son, we don’t bow here.” Hakoda says with a soft smile. 

“What do you mean?”

“Here we all shake hands.”

Jinhai raises his eyebrow, a little skeptical, “So, I don’t have to bow to anyone here?” 

Hakoda replies with a chuckle, “No, you don’t.”

A wide and bright smile appears on the boy’s face, “Wow, well thank the spirits and the past seven Avatars too.”

Zuko is scandalized, he has never heard Jinhai use slang like that before. He and Uncle made sure to only use proper language around him. “Jinhai!”

Jinhai looks down and away from Zuko, “Sorry, Dad.”

Zuko flushes and stammers, “I- I didn’t teach him that! We’ve been traveling lately, he’s picked up some crude sayings along the way.” 

The earthbender tries to suppress her laughter.

Jinhai looks at the other people in the group. 

He waves slightly in acknowledgement of them, “Hi!”

The waterbender and her brother look almost in shock. Their eyes drift from Zuko to Jinhai and back again. 

Zuko holds back a smirk. 

Once again, it is the earthbender who speaks first. 

“Hey, kid. My name is Toph. I’m the Avatar’s earthbending master.”

Jinhai’s eyes widen, “Wow! I-- I can’t believe I’m meeting you!” 

“These two are Sokka and Katara. Katara is the Avatar’s waterbending master and Sokka is the planner of our group. They are acting a little weird right now because they thought your dad made you up.”

Jinhai scrunches his nose, “Made me up? Why would my dad do that?”

Toph blows her long bangs out of her eyes and says, “My question exactly, kid.” 

Jinhai tugs on Zuko’s arm and Zuko leans down to talk to his son. Jinhai whispers, “Are they your friends?” 

“Uh, they are more like acquaintances,” Zuko whispers back sheepishly. 

“Oh. Okay.” 

Jinhai just stands there looking at the group, pushing snow with his foot as Siqiniq and Cupun stand next to him staring in awe. 

“Jinhai, your dad is so cool! Our parents have never met the Avatar’s friends before!” Siqiniq says with wide cobalt eyes. 

“Jinhai…girls, why don’t you all go inside? I’m sure Sesi and Hanta could use some help in the kitchen.” Zuko says gently as he tilts his head towards the inn. 

Jinhai’s face brightens at the mention of the kitchen and the three of them run into the inn. 

Zuko turns back towards the group, “As you all can clearly see, I do in fact have a child. Now please let me speak to the Avatar.”

Hakoda looks at his children, who still look to be in near shock. 

“Toph, please go with Sokka and Katara to gather the Council of Elders.” 

Toph nods as she pushes her friends away from the inn, leaving Hakoda, Iqiak, and Zuko there. 

Hakoda stands next to Zuko as they look at the entrance of the inn. Zuko turns his head slightly, “Well Chieftain, what now?” 

_What now?_ What a question. Hakoda first thought the man a prankster, then a liar, and now he doesn’t know what he thinks the young man to be. He just wishes this man never stepped foot into the tribe. Because Hakoda knows what will happen next and a strange part of him does not wish that for this man. Maybe he feels this way because of the man’s youth or his son, Hakoda is not sure. What Hakoda is sure of is that the tribe does not need this. They were hurting, have been hurting for a long time, but they were moving forward. And this young man, with his name and his blood and his sins, came into town wearing the pain of a generation. Hakoda knows what the elders and the people will want. Blood for blood, flesh for flesh. Hakoda has been screaming from the top of his lungs about a new age, a new South, but what do you do when the past walks into your office? Hakoda closes his eyes and says, “I-- I think I need to talk to Hanta.”

Instead of a response from Zuko, Hakoda hears a sharp sound. He looks over to find Zuko on the ground in the snow as Iqiak places the restraints on him. 

“Iqiak, you didn’t have to do that! He was cooperating!” Hakoda screams. 

“What is going on here? Why did you do that to him?” Hanta and his wife rush out to see Zuko laying in the snow. 

Sesi tries to keep her voice low to not alert the children, “That man is a friend here with a young son and I won’t see him brutalized! Not here, not in my place of business.”

“Hanta, control your wife! This man is trouble. He’s Fire Nation scum!” Iqiak replies aggressively. 

“Watch your mouth, young man! This is my home and business! That man is my friend and we won’t see him come to harm!” Hanta replies sharply. 

Iqiak narrows his eyes at them as he places the unconscious Zuko over his shoulder. “Friend! Hanta, you fool! When were ashmakers our friends!? This man is their prince and will be brought before the council for his crimes.”

Hanta’s eyes widen in shock, “What no, that can't be true! They are from Ba Sing Se. They know things only Earth Kingdom people would know.” 

Sesi lets out a gasp, “A trial before the council? But...what of his son?” 

“The man should have thought of that before he came here to do harm.” Iqiak says harshly. 

“Where are you taking him?” Hanta says softly with hurt in his eyes. 

“To the jail where he belongs.” Iqiak replies. 

Hakoda looks at Hanta and his wife in sympathy. “I-I’m-. Hanta, I’m sorry that you have to go through this but the council...they will want to speak to you.”

Hanta looks at the chieftain with a mixture of disappointment and anger, “I’ll be there, I would have been there anyways.” _For him_ , that part goes unsaid. 

Sesi resigns herself to the fact that their concerns will have no impact. She looks over at Chieftain Hakoda and is saddened by his inaction. She thinks of the boy and knows he and his father have experienced great hardship. Despite this the boy is kind and loving and the love his father holds for him almost radiates from him. She vows to protect the boy. If any harm comes to the father, she and Hanta will adopt him. They have three daughters and could use a son. He gets along with her daughters; they would love a brother. She and her husband would raise him to be a good man just as his father would. A tear runs down her cheek as she says a prayer to Tui and La hoping that it never comes to that. She wonders how a stranger and his son made such an impact on her family in such a short time. 

*

“Hakoda, you know that I had to do that! He is dangerous. Your own children swear that he threatened their lives on numerous occasions.” Iqiak crosses his arm after placing Zuko into a cell. 

Hakoda clenches his jaw and points a finger at Iqiak. “You are not allowed to just hurt him! I am Head Chieftain, Iqiak! If we treat him just like they would treat us, how are we better than them?”

Iqiak lets out a bitter laugh, “Better than them? Maybe if we spent less time worrying about being better than them and more time on trying to win this war we would have been much further than this! Do you think if it were Sokka or Katara captured they wouldn’t have done much worse to them by now?”

Hakoda feels his face flushing and bares his teeth, “Don’t use my children in your arguments!”

Iqiak walks closer to Hakoda and looks at him directly, “You forget...he is an ashmaker, he deserves death and much worse. Did you forget what they did to us, your whole family suffered-“

Hakoda leans into the guard’s face, “Enough, Ikiaq! I don’t want to hear anymore!”

Hakoda speaks lowly into his ear, “If the prince sustains further injury...I will knock your teeth out myself, that is a promise!”

“Of course, Head Chieftain.” Iqiak says firmly and shakes his head as he begins leaving the room. “Maybe Gilak was right about you.” Iqiak says firmly as he exits. 

Hakoda turns and looks past the cell bars towards the young man. He looked young already, but he looks younger and innocent behind the cell. He leans in to make sure that the prince is still breathing. Hakoda almost jumps when the prince’s sharp eyes open. 

The prince growls out and bolts to clutch the bars, “Where is my son? What did you do to him?”

“Please, Prince Zuko calm down. Your son is unharmed, he is at the inn. Your friend, the innkeeper is caring for him. I-“

“Chieftain, I would be more inclined to believe you if you didn’t knock me out as I was trying to negotiate! Let me out of here and allow me to return to my son!” 

“I can’t do that. You know I can’t do that. As I told you already, he is with your friends and unless you want him to come visit you in this cell, you can’t see him.” Hakoda says sadly. 

The prince doesn’t reply and turns away from him, slumping over in a corner on the cot. 

Hakoda says gently, “Prince Zuko, I have to ask. What did you think would happen to you when you came here?” 

Prince Zuko speaks softly, so softly that Hakoda almost couldn’t hear him. “I- I thought that I would get to speak to the Avatar. It seems naïve especially now, but I did, I truly did. Now I wish I never came here. Damn that King!”

Hakoda lowers his head, “The Avatar is dead.”

Prince Zuko laughs bitterly, “Yes, of course. Pardon me, the Avatar is dead.” 

“Prince Zuko-”

“Chieftain, what do you want with me?” Zuko asks sharply. 

“Do you think we are stupid? You must have brought your son here to trick us! You have to be planning something! The Council of Elders wishes to speak to you to discover your motives and plans.” 

Zuko replies, deeply annoyed at the Chieftain, at this situation, even at himself, “I already told you my motives, I’m here to speak to the Avatar!” 

Hakoda continues on as if Zuko didn’t respond to his question, “The Council of Elders wishes to speak to you before our tribe. They will find out the truth one way or another, Prince Zuko.” 

“Don’t you think I don’t know how this will end! I will die, you people wish to punish me for my family’s sins! To make me cry and beg for my life at your feet! I will do no such thing; you will get no satisfaction from my death. Your victory will be hollow. My father and sister, your true enemies, will live on.” Zuko says harshly. 

Hakoda is silent. 

Prince Zuko turns to face him and Hakoda can see deep emotion in his eyes. His voice trembles as he speaks, “I only ask that my son be spared. He is an innocent child, he didn’t even know my true identity until recently. He was born in Ba Sing Se in the lower ring, I- I worked in a tea shop. Not that any of that matters but please spare him.”

Hakoda nods, “Your son will be spared, whatever punishment you are given will end with you.” 

As Hakoda walks out of the room, he thinks he hears the man crying softly but he shakes his head, he must have imagined that. 

*

Zuko opens his eyes and looks around his dark cell, he doesn’t even remember falling asleep. A bowl hits his foot and he pulls it towards him to eat. It is plain rice and cold, but he didn’t expect quality food in jail. 

He raises his head to say thank you and he sees that it’s the earthbender, _Toph_ , with a lemur perched on her shoulders. He is confused as to why she would be visiting him. 

“Hello, I am Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation.” 

Toph looks slightly confused at him, “I know.”

“What I mean is that I haven’t had the opportunity to make your full acquaintance. What is your family name?” 

Toph tilts her head up and pushes her bangs out of her face. “In the name of Oma’s bastard children, how did you know I have a family name? I’m not even wearing Earth Kingdom clothes, so you couldn’t tell by the fabrics.” 

Zuko replies, “Well, your bearing and your features. And anyways, they always say one can find nobility-”

“In the oddest places, yeah I know. Well, if you must know, I am Toph Beifong of Gaoling. And this here is Momo.” The lemur begins to chatter at Zuko, but his focus remains on what Toph just said. 

Zuko drops his bowl and opens his mouth in shock, “Beifong? _The_ Beifongs?” 

Toph chuckles, “There’s only one Beifong family.” 

“I’ve heard a great deal of your family, but I did not know your parents had a daughter. My apologies.” Zuko says quickly. 

“No, don’t apologize. That was kind of the point,” Toph says as she sits on the floor and plays with her bracelet. The lemur, _Momo_ , squeezes his way through the bars and climbs up to sit in Zuko’s lap. Zuko strokes the lemur’s head and it nuzzles into him, humming appreciatively at his body heat. 

Zuko raises his eyebrow, “What was the point?” 

“For people to not know about me.” 

“Oh, okay.” Zuko replies. 

“Are you not going to ask why?” Toph says puzzled. 

Zuko says, “No...not unless you want to tell me.” 

Toph snorts, “You really are a prince!” 

“Thanks, I guess.” Zuko says as he rubs his neck. 

Toph lets out a breath and says, “I’m blind.” 

“Yes....you are blind.” Zuko says flatly. 

“No, I mean I was hidden because I was blind. My parents thought I was weak and needed sheltering.” Toph says with anger but also sadness in her voice. 

“That’s ridiculous! You seem quite powerful; I’ve never seen you bend but the Avatar wouldn’t have picked you unless-.” 

Toph interrupts him, “Yeah, I know. I’m probably the greatest earth bender to ever live.” 

Zuko firmly replies, “Your parents should have been proud of you. In the Fire Nation, you would be honored and praised by your family for your gift.” 

“Why is that?” Toph asks sincerely. 

“Well, in the Fire Nation we value strength and power.” 

“Well, then they must love you over there. Everyone has been freaking out here since the Chieftain put you in jail. You would think you brought a whole army with you and not a kid.” 

Zuko winces, “Well, they don’t _love_ me over there.” Did most people in the other nations really not hear of his banishment? 

“Why? From what I’ve heard from my friends you aren’t a slouch.” Toph says as she leans back on her hands. 

Zuko pinches the bridge of his nose, “Relative to your average fire bender, yes. I am more powerful than most firebenders in the world but in my family that’s not enough. My uncle, sister, and father are likely three of the strongest firebenders to ever live. I pale in comparison to them.” 

“Well then stop.” Toph says almost inattentively. 

“Stop?” Zuko raises his eyebrow, unsure if he heard her correctly. 

Toph says flatly, “Yes, stop comparing yourself to them. Compare yourself to you. Every day resolve to be better, stronger, and faster than you were the day before.” 

“Well, thank you.” Zuko says firmly. 

“I guess I should say thank you too. You know, despite what they all say you aren’t a bad guy.” 

Zuko knows she’s blind but he can’t help but look away from her, “Don’t say that. You don’t know me.” 

“In a roundabout way I do. I met your uncle, he helped me out. He thought the world of you and now I can kind of see why.” 

Zuko thinks, wondering when his uncle could have met her. It definitely wasn’t in Ba Sing Se so it must have been when they split up. Zuko begins to speak, his voice steady, “If you know my uncle, then please pledge that you will make sure my son is safe after I die.”

Toph furrows her brows and lowers her voice, “They aren’t going to _kill_ you or hurt your son.”

“I do not believe you. They have lied to me since the moment I’ve arrived. They have a look in their eyes that you can’t see that I can’t explain to you. They want something, and I’m the only firebender here to give it to them.” 

“They don’t trust you, and from everything they have told me they have good reason.” Toph sits up and crosses her arms. 

“Maybe I deserve this, maybe the sins of my family are mine and I should be punished for them. Just pledge that if I die you will allow my son to live,” his voice begins to choke, “that no one will harm him...that you will get him out of here.”

Toph looks towards him and Zuko feels that somehow, she is truly looking at him, “I pledge it.” 

“I just don’t know where you should take him.” Zuko says as he cups his jaw in his hand. 

“What?”

“I don’t have anywhere else that you can take him. My wife had no living relatives aside from her parents in Ba Sing Se.”

Toph hears him speak of his wife in the past tense but decides now is not the time to question him about it. She will do that later, if there even is a later for him. 

“I’ll send him to my parents.”

“What?”

Toph plays with her bangs as she says, “They aren’t _bad_ people, they just didn’t understand me. I didn’t want to play into their noble life. He’s a well-behaved little boy, he’ll fit well into that world.” 

Zuko lets out a laugh, a dry and sad one. “I’m going to die, all because I let Jinhai stop to look at some juggling bear! Spirits, they are going to kill me, and they won’t even burn my body.”

Before Toph could reply, they both hear a guard shout, “Master Toph! You’ve spent long enough in there!” Momo in reaction to the loud noise jumps and scurries back through the bars again before he climbs onto Toph’s shoulder. 

“Sorry, Sparky. I have to go.” Toph begins to get up to walk out. 

Zuko raises his eyebrow, “Sparky?”

Toph neutrally replies, “I- I give all my friends nicknames.” 

Zuko says, “But we aren’t friends.”

“Maybe we could have been.” Toph says with a hint of regret in her voice. 

Zuko finds himself looking up at her eyes, even though she won’t notice. “You know the Avatar told me that once.” 

Toph doesn’t know why but she finds herself caring about him. Maybe it's because he sounds so sad but there still is strength in his voice. Maybe it's because a part of her has always wanted to meet the _dumb but very very very evil_ (Sokka’s words not hers) teenager who inspired equal parts fear, anger, and ridicule from Sokka and Katara. Heck, maybe she likes the sound of his voice and wants to hear more of it. She hates that she can’t tell him, that she can’t stop what might happen to him. She makes a decision, one that could really change things for her in the tribe. She feels that no matter how this decision impacts her status in the tribe, it's one that needs to be done. 

She breathes out, “If worse comes to worse, I’ll bust you out of here later.”

“What?” Zuko asks softly. 

Toph firmly replies, “Katara or Sokka will say something to the Council, if not I’ll step in.”

“You are a guest here! You would go against them?” He doesn’t want her to get in trouble for him. He doesn’t want anyone to get in trouble for him. 

“I’m Toph Beifong. I’m the greatest earthbender ever, heir to the Beifong fortune, and the Avatar’s bending master, they can’t do shit to me here.” 

Zuko says with a half-smirk, “I guess they can’t.” 

Toph smiles and says, “I would tell you to beg but people like us don’t beg.” 

“No- no they don’t.” Zuko says, now with a full smirk on his face. 

“Well, goodbye.” Toph pets Momo’s head and turns to walk out of the room. 

Zuko moves to bow his head in thanks but he remembers that she is blind,” Thank you. Thank you very much.”

As she leaves, she considers what to make of Zuko. He seems nothing like the evil and cruel boy Katara and Sokka described. Either he changed a lot, or he was never really who they thought him to be. Toph thinks the answer might be both.

Not long after Toph leaves, two hard-faced guards come into escort Zuko to stand in front of the Council of Elders. They are young, a little younger than him but their eyes look much older. 

“Are you ready to face justice, ashmaker?” One of them asks. 

Zuko is silent, he has long-learned not to respond to taunts. At this point in his life, ashmaker doesn’t cause a reaction in him. As they take him into the communal hut, he walks quickly to keep them from dragging him. As they walk him to the center of the room, he looks over to see the angry faces of the people gathered in the hut. They are all various ages, from children to the elderly and Zuko wonders if almost the entire city came out for this. He wouldn’t be all that surprised if they did. They reach the center and push him down hard on a wooden bench. 

The hut is very cold, he feels the chill in his bones. The large number of people and the fire do nothing to raise the temperature of the room. Zuko takes matters into his own hands and slightly raises his own body temperature. He looks up and sees a group of older people peering down at him from an elevated platform made of ice. They all have deep hatred in their eyes as they look him over. _Well, they must be the elders._

An elderly man with a long grey beard speaks, “Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, son of the Fire Lord Ozai and grandson of Fire Lord Azulon, you are here tonight to answer for the evils of your family.” 

“Do you understand this?” A gravelly voice of another elderly man asks. 

Zuko stands and says, “I understand, I first wish to apologize for the sins- “ 

“Prince Zuko, you will sit and will not speak unless told otherwise!” The bearded man shouts. 

The two guards push Zuko back down on the bench. 

A white haired woman with beaded braids scowls and says, “Now, we will continue. We call Hanta son of Nanuq forward to speak.”

Zuko turns his head as Hanta comes out of the crowd. He looks disheveled and his eyes look to be seeing past what is in front of him. Zuko’s heart aches for Hanta, his _friend_. This is Zuko’s fault, he brought ruin onto Hanta just as he has done to everyone else who has ever shown him kindness. 

A large and tall man with missing teeth speaks, “It wasn’t enough for you to be a coward Hanta, you had to turn traitor?”

Hanta falters, “I- I- I’m no-not a traitor.” 

The tall man continues, “First you ran away from home, from your duty to be a warrior, shaming your father! Then you invited this man into our tribe, into your home. How is that not traitorous?” 

Zuko watches as Hanta opens his mouth to begin speaking but he closes it and bows his head in shame. 

The elders begin to whisper amongst themselves for several minutes, they call Chieftain Hakoda over and whisper into his ear. Chieftain Hakoda seems to speak animatedly to them and from Zuko’s perspective it seems to be a disagreement. Chieftain Hakoda returns to his seat and his wife squeezes his hand. His son, on the other side of him, pats his hand on Hakoda’s shoulder. Zuko returns his gaze towards Hanta. 

The bearded man stands and fixes his stone eyes at Hanta. “Hanta, son of Nanuq for your betrayal of the tribe, you and your family will be shunned.”

A gasp goes out amongst the crowd and Zuko watches as Hanta’s knees give way and he nearly crumples before the council. 

“Please, Elder Silla! Please Elders! I am sorry. Shun me alone, not my children or my wife!” Hanta pleads before the council. 

The woman with the moon-colored hair calmly says, “It must be done, Hanta. You have stained them with your conduct.” 

Zuko makes a choice, another choice. He knows that he cannot save himself. These people decided to kill him before he ever entered the hut, he saw that in their eyes. But he can save Hanta and his family. He can pray to Agni that they and the earthbender will save Jinhai. He is not sure how to play this so Zuko puts on the haughtiest voice he can think of, what Jinhai used to call his upper-ring voice before he knew that Zuko was a prince. This voice would only come out when Zuko was deeply frustrated or extremely irritated, which used to be often. 

“Stop! Can’t you people see that I played him! I lied to him! I saw he was a village simpleton, so I pretended to be an Earth Kingdom traveler with a young son. He fell for my tricks easily. I asked him questions to get as much information as possible about the tribe and the Avatar. His only crime is taking pity on a person like me.” 

Another gasp goes out from the crowd. 

Elder Silla narrows his eyes at Zuko, “Explain yourself, Prince Zuko!” 

Zuko begins to speak slowly, “I came here for the Avatar. Just as I did years ago.” 

The gravelly-voiced man speaks, “So you lied to Chieftain Hakoda about wishing to aid the Avatar?” 

Zuko breathes, “Does it even matter?” 

Another woman, who had been silent up until that point, speaks, “No, it does not.” 

The gravelly-voiced man begins, “Elder Hama-“ 

“No, Elder Yutu. Let us continue on. This meeting has a purpose. I say we call witnesses to his crimes to speak.” 

Katara is first to speak on his acts. Zuko listens as she in a steady voice details how he was aggressive towards her grandmother and the defenseless members of her village, how he burned a village on Kyoshi Island, how he tied her to a tree and tried to bribe her with her mother’s necklace, how he fought her in the sacred space of the Spirit Oasis and kidnapped the Avatar, the world’s only hope for peace. 

Zuko shrinks within himself as her brother affirms her story and emphasizes his menacing qualities like his bending prowess and his fixation on the Avatar. 

The witnesses continue as various people stand and speak of the raids, their experiences in Fire Nation prison camps, and the destruction they saw in the Earth Kingdom. 

Elder Hama speaks about her experience as a prisoner in the Fire Nation until she escaped. Of how she lived quietly and afraid until Katara and Sokka saved her and brought her home. 

Zuko feels a deep sense of shame over the impact of his family’s actions. The sadness begins to overwhelm him. Entire families and communities have suffered in the war because of his family’s quest for power. Zuko knows the blame for their sins is not his alone, his father and Azula must answer for them as well. His death will change nothing, will hurt no one but Jinhai. 

“Will I be allowed to speak for myself?” Zuko asks. 

Elder Hama scowls, “No, there is nothing more we need to hear from you! We will discuss our judgement before the people.” 

Zuko is tired and exasperated and he can no longer hold his tongue, “Can we get to the part where you people kill me? That’s what everyone brought their children to see, right?” 

The crowd is in deep shock and shouts begin to ring out. 

Elder Hama stands, “You are insolent, you have no respect for our people, for our ways, just like your grandfather and all your people! Even now as you face death you mock us.” 

Zuko narrows his eyes, “Do you wish for me to cry, beg? I will die as I lived, without fear.” 

Chieftain Hakoda stands and motions for the crowd to calm down. 

“Elders, please continue with your judgement.” 

Elder Yutu calls Katara and Sokka forwards. 

“Master Katara and Warrior Sokka, what do you think should be Prince Zuko’s punishment?” 

The siblings look over at Zuko and Katara speaks. 

“Elder Yutu, my brother and I believe that Prince Zuko and his son should be confined to a guarded igloo at the edge of town.” 

“Thank you, Master Katara. The council will take your thoughts into consideration.” 

The council speak amongst themselves with Chieftain Hakoda. They speak of using him in a prisoner exchange, making him cross the bridge of no return, forcing him to live in isolation, or forcing him to live as a slave. 

Zuko closes his eyes and imagines he is sitting with Jin, Jinhai, and Uncle at their fountain, eating dumplings and feeding bread to their turtle ducks. 

That everything that has happened to him since that day _she_ appeared was a terrible dream. Yes, that’s what this all is, a loathsome dream. 

Ever since Zuko arrived here, he’s felt a nagging sense of dread. First, he thought it was because this place is cold, so different from his home and reminded him of his sins but now he knows...he will die here and he felt it from the moment he arrived. He made the wrong choice again, he failed Jinhai, he should have gone to Chuje Islands and become one of the nameless. Now his son will live alone in this world, without a mother or a father. Zuko bites his tongue to keep the bile down. 

“Prince Zuko!” He opens his eyes and sees all the elders standing looking down at him. The guards hold him up to stand. Zuko moves his arms out of their grasp and stands on his own, giving the council a hard look. 

Elder Hama speaks, “Prince Zuko, we have sentenced you to death. Tomorrow at dawn, you will be drowned.” 

He looks over to see Katara beginning to stand as she begins to open her mouth, but her brother takes her arm, forcing her to sit. 

Zuko thought he would cry or maybe even laugh but he doesn't do either of those things. He knew his death was coming, after Lu Ten’s death he feared that he would die young. But to know he will die in a matter of hours; the feeling is indescribable. 

Elder Silla speaks, “Do you have anything to say Prince Zuko?” 

Zuko smiles, a dragon-like smile. “The gods will judge you for what you’ve done tonight. I know it.” 

Shouts, insults, and taunts begin to ring out as he turns his head back to look at the crowd. He watches as a tall person makes their way through the crowd. He is injured and shirtless, wearing tattered orange and yellow pants. He is covered in bandages across his middle, shoulders, and knees. The man has dark hair and a beard on his jutting chin. Zuko’s eyes widen as he realizes who the man is. _It_ _can’t_ _possibly be...but it must, there is no one else…_

The man’s arms and eyes glow and the voice of a person, a voice that sounded not of just one singular person but a thousand shouts, “Stop!”

The Avatar speaks and the people listen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zuko is screwed, the tribe is enraged, Hakoda is trying to keep a lid on everything, Sokka is trying to prove himself, Katara is seething, Toph is invested, Aang may or may not be himself, and Jinhai, Jinhai just wants to taste test some good food. 
> 
> Writing this chapter was absolutely nerve wracking for me. I thought long and hard about what could happen in this situation and how the gaang would react. I would love to hear thoughts and critiques! Thanks to everyone for the reviews, kudos, and bookmarks. 
> 
> I don’t have a beta so any and all mistakes are mine alone. Sorry.


	7. the avatar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all know the pattern at this point. People say things and things happen and most of them are sad. TW: slight panic attack.

**chapter six** : the avatar

Aang remembers. He remembers glowing crystals, Katara’s gentle face, a fight, the Dai Li, the menacing smile of his enemy, and mostly, sharp sickening agonizing pain. 

Then feels himself drifting…drifting from his being, from the world, and from time. 

He falls

and falls

and falls

and falls.

He continues to fall and thinks of his life.

He remembers everything. 

He remembers his people. He remembers the temple, his training, and the games he would play. He remembers Monk Gyatso and the elders. 

He remembers his friends and his travels. Bumi and the slopes of Omashu. Kuzon and the dragons. How the Fire Nation was the place he loved the most outside of home. He loved the festivals, the dances, the food, and the people. The vibrant people who were obsessed with honor but still knew how to let loose and have a good time. 

He misses them, misses them more than any words could describe but he knows that he carries them with him. He carries the past on his shoulders. He is one of the last remnants of the old world, of the old way of life. A way that has been long forgotten. 

But most of all he remembers Katara. He’ll always remember the serene look on her face when she freed him. Her soft mouth and her rich brown skin. Her beautiful eyes that looked like the ocean on a calm day. Her eyes drew him in that day, they still draw him in. Her presence had always felt like home to him in the strange and unknown world; the new world that for the past ten years he had found himself in. 

He remembers her gentle touches, soft kisses, and kind words. Her constant encouragement and patient teaching. How she always believed in him no matter what. How she didn’t mind that he was constantly surrounded by fans and supporters. How she promised to always be there for him. He hears a voice, a phrase, echoing in his head like a drum. 

_You must learn to let go._

_You must learn to let go._

_You must learn to let go._

_You must learn to let go._

Air was the element of freedom, he was taught to detach himself from worldly concerns to find peace. It should have been easy for Aang to let go, it was the way of his people and had always been... but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do what Guru Pathik wanted. He couldn’t let go of Katara, he doesn’t think he could even if he wanted to. 

If the choice was between Katara and the world, he couldn’t choose. Because for Aang, the world and Katara were not two separate things, they were one. Katara was the world for him. Katara mattered to him above all else. 

But he made a mistake, a grave mistake. By refusing to choose, he doomed the world. He doomed the world to an age of darkness, without an Avatar to save them. 

Suddenly, he opens his eyes and sees himself in a temple. It’s _his_ temple, his home. And it's not empty and haunted as he found it all those years ago. When he had his heart shattered and his fantasies broken; when he entered into the Avatar State for the first time. When he cried in front of his guardian’s remains. 

It is full of life, the skies are clear and the wind is strong. He sees children playing and flying on their gliders. He sees the elders deep in conversation. He sees classes being taught and fruit pies being baked. He even turns and sees Monk Gyatso. 

Monk Gyatso, his mentor, friend, and confidant...the closest thing he had to a father, was there right in front of him. Aang doesn’t try to understand how or why Monk Gyatso is there, he just runs into his arms. 

He hugs him, breathing in his scent as tears fall. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I failed you. I failed our people. We are gone forever.” 

Monk Gyatso leans out of the hug and clutches Aang’s shoulders, “Aang, look at me. Our people are not gone, we are lost.” 

“Lost? No, I died. I failed.”

Monk Gyatso’s eyes are calm and steady. He speaks in a gentle yet firm tone, “No, Aang. We are not gone, we were never gone. Things you think are separate and different are one and the same.” 

“Monk Gyatso, I don’t understand!”

Aang feels himself being pulled back by some force, away from Monk Gyatso and the temple. He watches helplessly as the temple fades away from him. He tries to fight against the pull but he cannot and he finds himself drifting once again. 

He opens in his eyes and finds himself in front of a stone moon gate. Aang walks through the moon gate and enters a lush garden with various shades of greens, pinks, purples, reds, and oranges. Aang appreciates the gentle breeze as he takes in the azalea bushes, fire lilies, snap dragons, and bamboo stocks. He continues to walk deeper and deeper into the garden until he reaches a pond and sees an older man sitting there feeding the turtle ducks. 

Aang immediately recognizes the man as Avatar Roku. His long white hair, noble bearing, and calm aura are unmistakable. 

“Avatar Roku? What is this place? Why am I here?”

Roku turns towards Aang, his blood red robes moving with him. The look on his face is solemn and his eyes look tense. 

“Aang, please sit.”

Aang sits besides Roku and for a moment just enjoys the gentle breeze and cloudless sky. A group of turtle ducks come towards them and Roku begins breaking off bread pieces to feed them. Roku hands Aang some bread and Aang follows suit. The two of them feed the birds in silence for a while. 

Roku begins to speak quietly, “This place is the garden of my childhood home in Caldera. I would spend hours sitting here with the quiet shade with the turtleducks. It is a pastime that I would share with my daughter. She loved it so much that she shared it with her daughter. Her daughter in turn shared it with her son who now shares it with his son.” 

Aang sees Roku clenching his fist and furrowing his brow. 

“Roku, what’s wrong? Does this have to do with the Avatar cycle? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I know that I’m the last Avatar. I know that I failed the world because I was killed in the Avatar state.” 

“You were killed but you are not dead, Aang. You are just very very weak because you are still injured. Your friend saved you, she brought you back to life.” 

“Katara? You mean Katara saved me?” 

“Yes, Aang but that is not what I want to talk to you about. My problem has much more to do with me than with you. You see this is about my family and the desires of a long-gone old man. I’ve failed my family, my country, and the world but I cannot fail him.” 

“Roku, I don’t understand.”

“My great-grandson needs help. He’s needed help all his life but finally I am in a position to give it to him.”

Aang fiddles with his thumbs, “Okay... so what kind of help does he need?”

Roku turns to him, “Prince Zuko is in grave danger.”

Aang stands up in shock, memories swirling in his mind of Prince Zuko chasing him, capturing him, threatening him, and refusing his offer of friendship. “Prince Zuko? What does he have to do with your great-grandson?”

“Prince Zuko is my great-grandson.”

Aang sits back down again and laughs, an animated laugh. “Good one, Roku. That was a pretty funny joke.”

Roku puts his hand on Aang’s shoulder, “Aang, this is not a joke. I am quite serious. Prince Zuko is my descendant and right now the Southern Water Tribe has him on trial. His life is being threatened.”

Aang stands up again, “What? What are you talking about?” Aang’s mind is frantic as he tries to process what Roku just told him. 

_Prince Zuko? Danger? The Southern Water Tribe? A trial?_

Roku lets out a sigh, “Aang, I regret that I don’t have time to explain this to you. I’m sorry that I did not share this information with you earlier but I need a favor from you.”

“A favor?”

“Yes, I… I need to borrow your body.” 

*

When historians, scholars, and intellectuals speak of this moment, they describe it as one of great importance. A moment where Avatar Aang solidified himself as not an instrument of revenge but a figure of peace and restoration. That the Avatar, who had lost his people to the genocide could look upon the face of the prince of his enemies and accept him wholly. To see him for what he was, a young man caught up in events that had begun well before his father was even a twinkle in his grandfather’s eye. A young man who was trying to adapt, to change, to grow, to see the world not as what it was but what it could be. And if Avatar Aang- _victim, survivor, hero, and god_ \- could do it, what excuse did mortals have? 

Yes, many would be shocked to learn that the events that took place in early autumn in the Southern Water Tribe went quite differently than what they were told. They are aware of the words that were spoken, and the actions that were taken but they are mistaken about the identity of the main actor in the matter and the reasoning behind his actions. 

What few people know is the Avatar in this matter was not Avatar Aang but Avatar Roku. The motive was not to demonstrate grace and mercy but it was to preserve a bloodline, a heritage, and a love. For you see, what most outside of the high elite circles of the Fire Nation nobility did not know was that Prince Zuko was a descendant of Avatar Roku. And the Avatar, who had watched his descendant suffer many indignities was finally in a position to save his life. So he did just that. 

The Avatar walks from the healing hut to the communal hut. He has never been in the South Pole before but his spirit leads him to where he knows he must go. 

He feels something deep in his bones, a sense of protectiveness over the young man. A young man who has been battered like rocks on the shore but like those rocks, continues on. Prince Zuko is of Ursa, of Rina, and of him and Ta Min. He is his blood and Roku does not wish to see his blood come to harm. And when Aang opens his mouth to speak, it is not Aang speaking but Roku himself.

“Stop!” The Avatar shouts as he enters the room. The sea of people part as the Avatar walks to the center. Many bow in reference, others cower in fear, and some just look on in awe. He sees an older woman, with great pain and anguish in her spirit. He sees such pain in the spirits of many in the room. Some of that same pain is in Aang’s spirit. But the Avatar knows this is wrong, what they wish to do is wrong.

The woman’s slate eyes narrow at him. While the other elders tremble, she remains stouthearted. She speaks firmly, “Young man, who are you to interrupt a sacred tribal meeting? You are not a member of this tribe; you have no say in this matter. The prince of our enemy is here in this room. Come to bring destruction on our heads. He came to continue the evil that his ancestors brought upon this land, our home. You will respect that; you will respect us. Justice must be done.”

“Do you feign ignorance? Or did you truly forget what I am?” The Avatar’s voice is deep like subdued thunder, “I am the Avatar, I am older than you, I am older than most things and ideas. You say I am not a Southerner? That I am not a member of this tribe? I’ve been born in the North, in the South, in the Earth Kingdom, among the Air Nomads, and in the Fire Nation. I am of every nation yet none of them.”

The older woman remains steadfast, she is irreverent. She continues to glare at him. 

The Avatar’s mouth is grim, “I remember a time when people knew that before there were nations they were people. People that could live together and have lived together and can do so again.” 

His tone is cold and disapproving, sending a chill out amongst the crowd as he says, “This is shameful! What lives will be saved, what hearts will be mended by doing such a thing? By committing such an act against him? You will not harm this young man. I will not allow you. The Avatar will not allow it. This is not justice; justice cannot be accomplished without him. He has a great destiny and he will live to fulfill it. What his ancestors have broken, he will mend. What his ancestors have destroyed, he will rebuild.”

The Avatar looks at Prince Zuko. The Prince did not shrink in reverence but he was not disdainful either. He bears a neutral look on his face and his stance is noble. His golden eyes reflect some weariness but also deep strength. 

“Prince Zuko, son of Fire Lord Ozai and Lady Ursa, descendant of Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku. Tell me what you desire of me?”

Something shifts in the prince’s eyes, a recognition, a feeling, a hope but it is gone almost as quickly as it appears. Prince Zuko speaks firmly, “Avatar, I wish to offer myself as your teacher. I am a master firebender and swordsman. I can train you in preparation for your battle against the Fire Lord.”

“Prince Zuko, I accept you. It would be an honor to call you sifu.” The Avatar bows in front of the prince in the traditional Fire Nation manner. Some gasps are let out by the people because the Avatar rarely bows before anyone. The Avatar only bows to those worthy of esteem. 

The Avatar turns and looks at the crowd. He sees many of the faces are in deep shock and anger. He feels no regret, for he did what must be done. The Avatar sees one of Aang’s friends and his gaze lingers on her face. In the ocean eyes of Katara, the young waterbender, the Avatar sees shock, anger, confusion, and worry. 

The Avatar narrows his eyes and speaks to the Chieftain. Roku sees reverence in him with a good amount of fear. _Good,_ he thinks, if they fear him then they will never think to harm Zuko or his child. 

“Chieftain, remove Prince Zuko from his chains and allow him to return to his son. Find suitable lodging for him and treat him as a guest.” 

Roku has completed his duty and his spirit leaves Aang’s body. 

Aang, still weakened by his injuries, falls to the floor. Aang doesn’t even hear Katara’s voice shouting his name as she runs towards him. 

*

Zuko struggles against the four people restraining him as they carry him into a jail cell. “What are you doing? Why are you putting me back in jail? Did you not hear a word of what the Avatar said?” 

Sokka and the three guards ignore him so Zuko continues to kick and hits Sokka in the mouth, busting his lip. “Ow! Look, Zuko stop! We have no idea where to put you! We have to figure out where you can stay! The crowd is pretty heated.” 

Zuko is unceremoniously dropped onto the cot. His gold eyes look fierce in the moonlight. “And whose fault is that? Not...mine! Either let me out of here or bring my son here!”

Sokka is frustrated as he shouts, “Do you hear yourself? We aren’t going to make your kid sleep in a jail cell!” 

Zuko clenches his jaw as he says, “Then let me out of here! You can’t refuse me the right to see my child! Either he comes in here or I go out there!”

Sokka rubs his temple and replies, “Just sit here for a bit!” He says this as if Zuko has the choice to do anything else. “I’ll come back once we figure it out!” 

Zuko kicks the bars of the cell with significant force and yells as smoke comes out of his nose and mouth. 

Sokka, who is somewhat scared but would never admit it, turns to the head guard. He puts his hand on the guard’s shoulder and speaks to him in a whisper. “Don’t do anything to him but watch him until I come back. No one and I mean no one comes in or out of this jail, you understand?” The guard nods and Sokka walks briskly out of the jail. 

Sokka trudges towards his father’s office, and watches as his breath goes out into the dark night. He mumbles under his breath. “Bleeding hog monkeys, what a day, what a flipping day.”

*

Katara is in the healing hut, passing cool healing water over Aang’s injuries. She can’t believe it, he’s been sleeping for months and to just wake up like that must have placed a great strain on him. She wonders why-no, she can’t focus on that, she has to focus on helping Aang get better.

“Katara!” Toph shouts as she runs into the hut. 

Katara turns to look at her friend, “Toph, what is it? I have to tend to Aang.” Katara turns back towards Aang and pushes his dark hair back. She smiles softly as she wonders what he would think if he saw what he looks like. She starts to redress his bandages deciding to start with his shoulders. 

Toph’s voice is firm as she says, “Your dad wants to speak to you. He’s gathered the council. Not the wack-ass elder council but his actual advisors with functioning brains and beating hearts. Sokka is already there, and I came to get you.” 

“But Aang-” Katara feels a gentle hand on her shoulder. She looks up and it’s her Gran-Gran. Her Gran-Gran’s face is calm and her eyes are cool like the summer sky. 

Gran-Gran brushes down Katara’s chestnut hair and speaks gently, “Dear one, don’t worry. Yuma and Hana are here and I will be too. We will watch over and care for your friend. We all know how much he means to you.” 

Katara pauses for a moment and looks at her Gran-Gran then at Toph. “Okay, Gran-Gran. Thank you.” 

Katara and Toph walk to Hakoda’s office in complete silence. Katara hears the snow crunching under her feet and looks up at the sea of blinking stars. She looks over and sees that Toph’s face is pale, too pale. She worries for her friend, maybe it has to do with Aang but maybe it is just the cold.

They continue walking and once they reach just outside of her father’s office, Katara sees Toph clenching her fists as her shoulders shake slightly. Katara knows for sure that something is wrong with her friend. Katara’s voice is unsteady as she asks, “Toph? What’s wrong?” 

Katara wants to help her friend, hearing Aang like that must have been upsetting for her. The last time Toph heard Aang that way was in the desert. It happened in the temple, it happened at Fong’s Fortress, and then it happened in the desert. She prayed it would never happen again and it didn’t. In the caves, he was calm and had it under control, in the caves he was fine until- no, Katara won’t allow herself to think of that moment, to think of what happened to Aang. He is safe now and getting better; they are all safe now. Now she needs to focus on Toph. Katara’s muscles stiffen as she hears Toph’s answer. 

Toph’s voice is shaky and quiet as she says, “You were going to let them kill him. I told him that you wouldn’t, that you and Sokka would say something.” 

Katara’s voice is unsteady as she asks, “Toph, what are you talking about?” 

Toph’s voice goes hard as she glares at Katara, “You know damn well what I’m talking about, _Katara!_ You were just going to sit silently and let him get punished when he’s innocent!” 

Katara’s cheek flushes and her jaw tenses, “Innocent? Innocent! Toph, he’s the furthest thing from innocent! He’s the _prince_ of the Fire Nation!” 

“Yeah, the prince that showed up here wanting to help Aang, to help us,” Toph says firmly. 

“He could have been playing us! He could have come here to see if Aang was still alive so he could capture him!” Katara says quickly as her mind swirls with the possibilities. She can almost picture Zuko as he captures Aang just like he did in the North Pole, trudging off into the snow with him. 

“Really, Katara? You forgot one key person in all this...his son. What person would want a kid to take care of as they fled tons of trained warriors and master benders into the elements with the Avatar? You guys said he wasn’t smart but no one and I mean no one is that stupid.”

Katara’s brow furrows as she takes in Toph’s words. Capturing Aang and fleeing the tribe would be extremely difficult. He would have to make it out of the city without being caught then swim in Arctic waters to whatever boat he had or commandeer one in the port. Alone, it’s nearly impossible… with a kid it's unfeasible.

Toph noticing that Katara isn’t responding and continues, ”Yeah, his son? You all forgot about him! But I haven’t. You guys just see his dad as the embodiment of evil. But I remember that he has an innocent kid depending on him and he is just trying to find his path like the rest of us.” 

Katara feels her anger rising. How dare Toph compare them to _Zuko._ Katara’s voice hardens as she says, “He shouldn’t have brought his son here. His son doesn’t change the fact that he’s caused harm to us, to my people.” 

Toph’s voice rises an octave, “Spirits! You people all act like you are the only ones who have suffered under the Fire Nation! Well, the Fire Nation came here and _left._ They went to the Earth Kingdom and _stayed._ They took over our towns and villages and they married our people. Now we have thousands of kids just like his son, who are half Earth and Fire. What do we do with kids like that? Where do their allegiances lie? No one knows and we don’t know how to figure out. But oh, I’m sorry he came to your village and gave you guys a scare when looking for Aang.” 

“Toph! He chased us around the world!” Katara’s voice is steady as she says, “You don’t know what it was like to look over your shoulder constantly fearing for him to reappear.” 

Toph shoulders slump as she says, “No Katara, you are right, I don’t. But it was never about you was it? It was always about Aang. He chased _Aang_ across the world, not you. You and Sokka just happened to be there. And Aang just accepted him as his sifu!” 

Katara moves towards Toph, getting in her face, “You know damn well that wasn’t Aang, Toph! That was the...the _Avatar_! Zuko is trouble, he’ll show that soon enough!” 

Toph tilts her head to the side, “No, Katara I don’t think so. Aang, the Avatar, whoever the heck that was trusts him enough to accept him in front of your whole tribe! That might not be enough for you but it is more than enough for me.” 

Hakoda opens the door to his office, his eyes are tense and he looks troubled. 

“What was all that yelling about?”

Toph shifts her weight to her other side as she says, “Oh, Chieftain we were just talking. Sorry, it’s just that I don’t have an inside voice. I need to work on that.” 

*

Zuko sits in the darkness, passing time by tapping the cell bars with his foot. 

_The Avatar, that really was the Avatar. He saved me...but why? And how did he know about my ancestry? Does Roku know about me? Did he speak to him about me?_

Something comes to him, a memory. 

_It is bright, his memories of home usually are. It is like Agni’s light was closer to him in the Fire Nation than it was anywhere else in the world._

_He is in the courtyard of their home on Ember Island. He is seven and he is happy. He is sweaty and tired but happy because his father is personally helping him work on his katas._

_Zuko goes through the movements, remembering his lessons._

_“Be more aggressive, Zuko!”_

_Zuko tries again, trying to hit the movements as precisely as possible._

_“Stop!” Ozai shouts._

_Zuko turns to his father. They are both dressed casually in red and black training clothes, without their crowns or ornaments._

_His father walks towards him and looks down at him, “Do you wish to prove them right?”_

_Zuko says hesitantly,“Wh- Who, Dad?”_

_Ozai has a fierce look in his gold eyes, and glares down at his son._

_“The jealous high nobles, the treacherous dogs who think I made a mistake in marrying your mother.”_

_Zuko’s brows furrow as he feels his anger rising, “But mother is the most wonderful woman in this world!”_

_Ozai places his hand on Zuko’s shoulder, “Yes, my son. There is no woman in this world that compares to your mother’s beauty, intellect, and grace. But there are many who would shame her for her family’s sins.”_

_“Her family’s sins? But Grandfather Jinzuk is a governor and Grandmother Rina is a high noble!”_

_“Yes, Zuko but do you know anything of your mother’s grandfather?”_

_Zuko tilts his head and presses his lips together as he thinks. He has only heard of his father’s grandfathers, the Great Fire Lord Sozin, who dedicated his life to sharing the Fire Nation’s light with the world and Chancellor Guang, an intelligent man who reformed the civil service._

_“No, who was he?”_

_Ozai walks Zuko to the steps and they both sit down. Zuko sits, tapping his foot as he waits for his father to speak._

_Ozai’s voice is low, “Your mother’s grandfather is not worth mentioning. He shamed his family and our nation. Your mother and grandmother have both suffered greatly for being his blood. That is why they never speak of him or his dishonorable acts.”_

_Zuko listens intently and wonders if Azula knows this already, “What did he do?”_

_“He was the Avatar.”_

_‘Like Avatar Szeto?” Zuko was taught about Avatar Szeto, who worked with his ancestor Fire Lord Yosor to make the Fire Nation strong after decades of crisis._

_“No! He is nothing like Avatar Szeto. Avatar Roku was a traitor, who sought to help the world destroy the Fire Nation. He was born a high noble, a friend of my grandfather, but preferred the other nations over his own. He died a coward’s death like he deserved. He is the reason that all the Avatars are our enemies.”_

_Zuko is silent, he hates this Avatar Roku. He hates him for making his grandmother and mother suffer. He hates him for betraying the Fire Nation._

_“It is because of him that you must be strong! You have to prove them all wrong, prove to them that you have the blood of dragons, as my ancestors did. And when you are older, you will wipe his stain from our bloodline and no one will ever dare think of him. Do you understand?”_

_Zuko nods, “Yes, Father.”_

_Ozai gently pushes Zuko’s sweaty hair back, “Now come, try the kata again.”_

_Zuko tries the kata again and thinks of Avatar Roku, of his growing hate for him, of his traitorous actions, and how when he is older he will make sure no one ever utters his name. That no one ever doubts his mother or grandmother again._

_“Good, Zuko! Your movements are precise and aggressive. Just as they need to be. Of course, you still need to practice before you can move on to the next-”_

_“Ozai! Zuko!” He hears his mother’s voice as she walks through the hallway dressed in deep crimson and adorned with pearls and gold._

_“It is near sundown! Azula and I are already dressed and we must not be late for the play.”_

_Zuko lets out a groan, “Mom, we have to watch that play again? We see it every year and they aren’t even good.”_

_His mother narrows her amber eyes at him, “Zuko! The arts are one of the many prides of this nation and I am the patron of the Ember Island Theater. We must be in attendance.”_

_She looks at Zuko then at Ozai, “Now go bathe and get dressed. No one likes to be around smelly people, not even if they are princes!”_

_Zuko shakes his head as he walks towards his rooms. As Zuko walks away he can faintly hear his mother and father talking._

_He hears his mother’s melodious voice, “Now Ozai, what were you two talking about? I saw you two through the window.”_

_His father replies in a low tone, “Nothing, my dear, just firebending techniques. I believe the particularities of the instruction may bore you.”_

Zuko is brought out of his reverie by footsteps. He sees a man holding a lantern. The man moves closer and Zuko sees that it is Hanta. His vibrant blue eyes look weary and his posture is slouched. 

Zuko speaks in a hoarse voice, “Hanta? Why are you here?”

“The head guard is a loyal customer, he let me in here.” Hanta says softly. 

Zuko furrows his brow, “That explains how but not why.”

Hanta replies flatly, “You lied.” 

“I know, I’m so sorry,” Zuko says softly, averting his eyes from Hanta. 

“No, you lied about me, why?” 

Zuko looks back at Hanta, hoping to make him understand. “I couldn’t just sit there and watch your people shame you. You are a good man, kind and respectful. You are not a fool and I couldn’t watch you get treated like one. You and your family don’t deserve that.” 

Hanta narrows his eyes at Zuko, “So you made yourself look worse?” 

Zuko hunches his shoulders, “You didn’t see it?” 

“See what?” Hanta asks. 

Zuko replies sharply, “They decided to kill me before I ever walked into there. It didn’t matter what I said to them.” 

“You are a good man…Prince Zuko. Much better than you should be after all you’ve gone through,” Hanta says calmly. 

Zuko is silent for a moment but then quietly says, “Zuko, just call me Zuko. I haven’t really been a prince in a long time.”

Hanta nods, “Zuko, the two of you will always have a place in my home, if you want it. The Avatar supports you, no one in this tribe would dare harm you or Jinhai.” 

“The Avatar fell back into a coma.” Zuko says, resigned to the fact that he may not leave this prison cell. 

Hanta holds Zuko’s gaze, “The Avatar rose from the dead; he can rise from a coma.” 

*

The atmosphere in Hakoda’s office is tense. Sokka tried to lighten the mood by asking if they could be called the Committee on Jerkbender Relations but the joke fell flat. Katara shivers as the air feels colder than usual. She looks around the room at her father, brother, friend, and grandfather, they all seem to be deep in thought. She looks around at the others in the room and they look solemn if not outright afraid. Katara sits on the couch listening as the others talk about potential solutions. 

She is deep in thought. She has only one thought on her mind- Aang. Aang woke up from his coma and said those things, it was Aang but it wasn’t. Whoever that was did all that for Prince Zuko. Katara doesn’t understand it, not at all. She needs Aang to get better so he can tell them he didn’t mean it, that it wasn’t really him, that he was possessed by some spirit. Anything to make this make sense. 

Bato hesitantly asks, “What if we just send him away?”

Pakku scowls, “Did you not hear the Avatar? The Prince is his sifu, we cannot send him away.” 

Her dad’s assistant, Panuk frowns and says, “Well, where will we house him?”

Pakku raises his hands in frustration, “Asking the same question over and over again will not bring us closer to an answer!”

Sokka replies, “Yeah, come on everyone! A solution is not just going to walk through the door!”

But on that day, a day of great mystery, a day where the liminal space between the sacred and the profane disappeared completely, a solution did in fact walk through the door. 

Hanta, son of Nanuq, rushes into the office. His face is hard as he says, “Are you happy? Are you proud? You got what you wanted, at his and his child’s expense. He is a good man, he didn’t deserve that!” 

Everyone in the room shivers, unsure of how to respond to him. 

Katara speaks, trying to keep her tone even. “Excuse me sir, I mean no disrespect, but you do not know him. We’ve fought against him, he tried to capture the Avatar many times, to take away our last hope for peace.” 

Hanta lets out a breath, "That was then, I’m talking about now. He is a good man _now._ He lied. What he said about me was a lie. He lied to protect me, my family’s reputation, and our business.” 

“What?” Sokka half-shouts. 

“I was the one who sought out his friendship. I invited him into my home, offered him a job. He didn’t initiate anything; he was even shocked that I was speaking to him. I wasn’t there in the past and I did not see what he did. I just know that an evil and cruel man would not do what he did for me.” 

Silence, it feels like all the air was taken out of the room. 

Hanta continues to speak, unaffected, “Chieftain, please let him return to my home. He and his son already have a room there.” 

Hakoda looks up at Hanta from behind his desk. Hakoda speaks slowly and gently, “Hanta, are you sure? Do you know what this means?”

Panuk has no reservations and says, "You must be crazy, Hanta!”

Hanta glares at Panuk but turns his head back towards Hakoda. He speaks firmly, "Chieftain, please remember the old ways of our tribe. Remember that what a man chooses to do in his home, the friends he chooses to keep is no one’s business but his own. Remember that the Avatar before our very eyes accepted the man.” 

Katara wants to speak but she holds her tongue, it wasn’t _Aang_ not really but no one will understand that. 

Another voice shouts out, “He is dangerous Hanta! A master firebender in the home you share with your wife and daughters!” 

Bato speaks calmly, “You aren’t a warrior, if he tries anything you can’t defend yourself.”

Hanta remains steadfast, “He will not harm my family, not with his child there. He loves the boy.” 

“Still, this is a serious request.” Pakku says as he crosses his arms. 

Toph says, “I’ll protect them.” 

“What, Toph!” Sokka shouts. 

Toph stands and walks towards Hanta, “Sir, if you don’t mind I would like to rent a room at your inn to ensure the safety of your family. I would be there in case Prince Zuko tries anything.” She continues, “ Even though I don’t think he ever would. He’s not an idiot and he has been sincere in what he has said so far. But if my presence will assure everyone else then I’ll do it.” 

Hanta smiles softly, “Of course, Master Toph. It would be an honor to host you.” 

“Chieftain, does that solve the issue?” Toph says. 

Hakoda cups his chin and says, “Yes, Master Toph. I believe that it does.”

Hakoda walks with Toph and Hanta back to the jail and the rest of them trickle out of his office. 

Katara begins walking out and Sokka rushes to catch up with her. 

“Flying hog monkeys! What is going on? Today started off as a regular day, like Katara what-“ Sokka says almost stumbling over his words. 

“Sokka, I- I don’t want to talk about it.” Katara says firmly as she walks away into the crisp night. 

*

Katara is quiet as she sits in her grandmother’s igloo. Gran-Gran hands her a cup of green tea and smooths her hair down. 

Katara drinks the tea and feels the warmth enter her body. “We were going to let him die...we really were going to let him die if Aang didn’t interrupt.” 

Pakku sits down across from her and says, “No, Katara we weren’t. I knew that regardless of the result of the hearing, I was going to get him and his son out of the tribe.” 

Katara furrows her brow, “Wait...really? But why? Why did you keep that a secret?” 

Pakku softly says, “I am a friend of their uncle’s.” 

Katara drops her cup and if it weren’t for the rug it would have shattered. “You know Zuko’s uncle? But how? Did you meet him during the Siege?” 

Pakku sighs and says, “No, Katara. I’ve known him for a long time. We met in our youth when the Fire Nation came to renegotiate Amaruq’s treaty.” 

Katara narrows her eyes as recognition comes over her. “Amaruq’s treaty? You mean the treaty that protected the North from the Fire Nation raids? But why did they renegotiate it?” 

Pakku sighs. “They set a new condition. They made us promise not to aid in any way, shape or form the Southern Water Tribe against the raids.” 

Katara gasps, she knew relations between the sister tribes were tense from long before the war but to be completely betrayed by them, she feels her hands begin to shake in anger. 

Pakku is stony-faced as he continues, “Because of the strain between our two tribes, this condition was readily accepted. I doubt that any of the chiefs or elders had designs to help the South even before the Fire Nation made it a condition.” 

Katara feels her anger rising. “So all this time I was blaming Zuko and the Fire Nation when I should have been blaming the North! After all, our sister tribe abandoned us long before Sozin began his war against the world. You abandoned us even before our war with the Earth Kingdom! We are all savages and heathens anyways, so why not let the Fire Nation destroy us! Thank you, Master Pakku. I think I finally understand.” 

Gran-Gran leans over to try to confront Katara. "Dear one, please-" 

Katara turns to her grandmother, “You knew. You knew this whole time.”

“Katara, that is part of the reason why I left. I couldn’t understand why-”

Katara looks at her Gran-Gran and at Pakku, “Thank you for the tea but I think I should go.”

“Katara, please-” Pakku says. 

"Thank you but I would like to be by myself. We can talk later, I'm sorry. I'll come back."

Katara leaves and runs to the only person that could help her make sense of this. 

She stands in front of her mother’s grave as the day casts away the cloak of night. 

“Hi, Mom. I’ve told you about how a lot of things are changing in the tribe. You know about the Northerners, the new city, Dad’s wife, and what happened to Aang in Ba Sing Se. Well, something else happened. I almost let a man die. Remember Prince Zuko? The Fire Nation Prince who chased us all across the world? Well, he showed up with his son asking to speak to Aang. I thought he was tricking us, I still think he’s tricking us and the elders decided that he was going to be drowned. I know that’s wrong, that even he doesn’t deserve to suffer like that and I was going to say something. I wanted to speak out but….I just became afraid. I thought I was over this but when I look at him, I just remember the man who hurt you. I know that Zuko had nothing to do with that and I want to stop being scared but I can't. I’m sorry, I know you would have been so disappointed in me.” 

*

“Master Toph, here is your room. It is the smaller of the two rooms but I hope you do not mind.” 

Toph exhales, “Thank you, it’s not like I can see it anyways.”

Hanta looks at Zuko and Toph, “I will be downstairs waiting for you Zuko. Come down when you are finished.” 

Zuko kneels on the floor, “Thank you. Spirits, thank you. I- there is no way that I can ever repay the kindness you’ve shown to me. May the gods bless you.”

Toph rubs her eyes with her hand and lets out a yawn. “Look, I’m sure your prostrating would impress someone else but I cannot see it. You are a prince, get up and go to your kid. I just did what was right which is more than I can say for my friends.”

Zuko gets up and looks at her, “I’m sorry for causing tension between you and your companions.”

Toph, puts her hand on her forehead and says, “Whatever tension that may or may not be happening between me and my friends started before you showed up. I know it might seem hard for you to grasp since you are a Fire Nation prince but you are not the source of everyone’s problems. There are things in this world that have nothing to do with you or the Fire Nation. Okay, now get out of my room, I’m very cranky when I don’t get adequate sleep.”

Zuko smirks, “You mean you weren’t already cranky?”

“Why you-” Toph shakes her head and smiles, “You know Sparky, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.” 

Zuko smiles brightly even though she cannot see it or maybe it is because he knows she can’t that he feels comfortable doing it. He walks out of the room and thinks of how happy Uncle would be to hear that he has made a friend. 

Zuko walks down the stairs into the entry room of the house. Hanta is sitting in a chair by the fireplace, enjoying a glass of ice wine. 

Hanta smiles softly as he sees Zuko. 

“Friend, would you care for a glass?”

Zuko doesn’t respond, he just asks, “You really don’t hate me?” 

Hanta furrows his brow, “No.” 

“Why?” Zuko asks softly. “I am the prince of your enemies. I lied to you. I almost got you shunned I-”

Hanta doesn’t let him finish. “I made a mistake a long time ago, a mistake that I still carry with me, that still defines how many see me. I know what it's like to be defined by something you did no matter how hard you try to make up for it. So I believe that a man is not defined by his mistakes but by what he does to correct them. Whoever you were before, you aren’t him anymore.”

Zuko just freezes and looks at Hanta. 

Hanta takes another sip of his glass and says. “Also everyone else is gonna give you so much shit, why should I even bother?” 

Zuko firmly says, “Thank you.” 

Hanta stands up and places his hand on Zuko’s shoulder. 

“Besides, my girls would throw all my wine out if Jinhai couldn’t come play with them anymore. And I just couldn’t live knowing all my good wine was wasted on your account.” 

Zuko’s eyes go wide and he says, “Where is he? Where is Jinhai?”

Hanta takes Zuko back to his family’s living area. It is blue as expected with furs and various ornaments from Hanta’s travels. 

Sesi and Amka are sitting in a corner. Sesi is stitching some pants while Amka is reading a scroll. They both have their dark hair in loose braids. Amka looks up and sees the two men. She gently says, "So your name is Zuko.” 

Zuko says in a rasping tone, “Yeah, it is.” 

“Zuko suits you much better than Lee.” Amka says with a smirk. 

Sesi gets up and slides the door to Cupun and Siqiniq’s bedroom. Zuko sees Jinhai sleeping with the girls. He smiles softly as he takes in Jinhai’s gentle breathing and the stuffed fire ferret under his arm. 

“Do you- do you want to move him?” Sesi says hesitantly. 

Zuko lets out a breath, “No, it's quite alright. He is already comfortable, I do not wish to wake him.”

Sesi and Hanta share a look and Hanta says, "Okay, good night. We’ll send him over in the morning.” 

Zuko leaves their living area and walks up the stairs to his room. As soon as he gets to his room, he runs to grab a bucket and throws up. 

He pushes the bucket away from him and sits crouched on the furs. His heart is pounding and he’s trembling. He could hear his blood passing through his ears. Zuko tries to calm himself but his breaths are sharp and shallow. He can feel his vision getting narrower and falls to the floor. 

He wakes up and feels that the sun is high in the sky. He must have been tired to sleep through the sunrise. He opens his eyes and sees Jinhai sitting drawing on a piece of paper. 

He rubs his eyes and sits up. 

Jinhai looks up and his eyes are bright as he says, “Hi, Dad!”

Zuko feels terrible but he musters a soft smile for his son. 

“Hey, buddy.” 

Jinhai says, “Sesi made some five flavor soup for you, she said it will help you feel better. I brought it up here a while ago so it’s cold...but you can reheat it!” 

Jinhai grabs the bowl and hands it to Zuko. 

Zuko warms the soup and starts to eat it. He focuses on the flavors and the warmth. It's unlike anything he’s ever eaten before but it's good and hot so he appreciates it. 

Jinhai sits with his legs crossed, watching Zuko eat. 

“It’s good, right?”

Zuko nods and continues to eat. 

Jinhai continues to speak, “Master Toph is here! She said she’s staying here now! She was showing us her bracelet downstairs. She says it's made of space-rock and she got it in the Fire Nation. I told her I was half-Fire National but she said she knew that already, because of you. She can bend cool shapes with it!”

Zuko nods, focusing on the sound of Jinhai’s voice but not the words to keep himself grounded. 

Jinhai looks at Zuko, his green-gold eyes taking in Zuko’s posture and presence. 

“Dad...do you want to come downstairs?”

Zuko closes his eyes and says, “No...not really.”

If Jinhai is disappointed, he hides it very well unlike Zuko who was never able to hide anything. “Okay, Dad. I’ll see you later then.”

Zuko sits and runs his fingers through his hair. He goes to the basin and cleans himself vigorously as if he could wash away the pain of last night, the past few months, and of his whole life away. 

He dresses and tries to meditate but he can’t... he can’t center himself. He lets out a breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. He doesn’t want to, he really doesn’t want to but he will go downstairs. For Jinhai he’ll do it, he’ll do anything for Jinhai. 

When he gets downstairs he sees Toph, Jinhai, Sesi, Amka, and the twins sitting in a circle watching Hanta try to play the pipa. 

Jinhai’s face lights up as he sees Zuko and he runs to hug him. Zuko takes in Jinhai’s warmth and tousles his son’s black hair.

“Sparky, thank the spirits you are here, this guy is terrible!” Toph says with a smirk. 

“Master Toph!” Jinhai gasps. 

Hanta half-grins, “It’s okay, Jinhai. I know I can’t play. My family here just humors me but secretly they wish to throw away my pipa.”

Toph sits up straighter and says, “Sparky, the kid said you are good. I have to hear you for myself before I can make up my own mind. Though no matter how bad you are, you can’t be much worse than him.” 

Hanta lets out a deep laugh, “Master Toph, I like you!”

Zuko stares at them as six pairs of eyes look at him. “Me? You all wish to hear me play? I couldn’t possibly-”

Jinhai pleads, “Dad, please play! Please, you know you are good at it! You don’t have to be nervous.” 

Zuko takes the pipa from Hanta and sits and plays a song. He plays a song that reminds him of home, fire lilies, the harvest festival, and spice cakes on Ember Island. 

He finishes the song and they are all silent. “What? Is something wrong?” Zuko furrows his brow. 

Toph speaks, “Shit.”

Sesi narrows her eyes, “Language, Master Toph. We have little ones here.”

The twins giggle and Jinhai laughs behind his hand. 

Toph says, “Apologies, I meant to say _spirits._ The kid said you were good but I didn’t think you were this good.”

The twins clap and the rest of them follow suit. 

Zuko blushes and covers his face in his hand. “Gods, no! Please, you don’t have to clap for me. This isn’t a performance.”

Amka shyly asks, “Could you play another song, please?”

Zuko replies, “Of course. As long as none of you clap for me. It feels weird.” 

So Zuko plays again and again and again. He plays and he doesn’t think of Avatars both related and unrelated, his cruel sister, his disappointed father, his loving mother or wife, his imprisoned uncle, or the crippling guilt of his failures. His heart is free and his mind is calm and he thinks he deserves this peace, even if it’s only for a short while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was getting to be really long (11000 words!) so I cut it and the chapter I created from that will be posted soon. I hope you all enjoy because I had a lot of fun writing this. Thank you to everyone you reads, reviews, kudos, and bookmarks this story :) Thank you for coming on this journey with me.


	8. the guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katara and Zuko talk and it goes just as well as you'd expect it to.

**chapter seven** : the guest

_The first thing he feels is peace. He feels the sun’s warmth on his skin and the slight breeze against his face. He opens his eyes and he is in a field of lavender. Jin’s favorite, he thinks as he smiles._

_He gets up and starts to walk in the field smelling the earthy scent and experiencing the calming effects._

_He walks and sees the outline of a woman in the distance._

_He knows it’s her, he knows it’s Jin._

_He runs towards her as he shouts her name._

_She turns to him and smiles, a bright and true smile. Her green eyes are calm, and her chocolate hair is adorned with lavender. She is wearing the emerald dress he got her for their wedding anniversary._

_She speaks with mirth in her voice, “Hi, stranger. Long time no see.”_

_He pulls her into a warm hug and cries into her hair._

_“Oh Jin, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you. I love you. Jinhai and I miss you so much. Only the gods know how much we miss you.”_

_She takes his head in her hands and strokes his scar._

_She whispers, “Do you love me? Do you truly love me?”_

_Zuko replies, “With all my heart. You showed me that I could be loved, and we made a wonderful life together, you gave me Jinhai. I will be grateful to you forever.”_

_Zuko strokes her hair and moves to kiss her but she pushes him away, her eyes turning cold and dark._

_“You monster! You dark spirit! You are sick and you can’t even see it! I hate you! Spirits, I hate you so much! I slept in your arms for years and never even knew your name! I suffered to bring your child into this world, and you lied to me the whole time! But why am I surprised, you are a Fire Nation Prince, all you know is to take and take and take until there’s nothing left. No one’s feelings matter but your own.”_

_Zuko pleads, “Jin, please! I’m so sorry! I was wrong, I lied to you. I lied to our son. I’ll carry that with me for the rest of my life. I know I do not deserve it but forgive me, please. I don’t think I can go on if you hate me. Forgive me, oh gods, forgive me.”_

_Jin’s eyes narrow at him, “Forgive you? Never! I’m happy that I’m gone so I no longer have to deal with you! Don’t you know what you are? You are poison! To me, to your uncle, and to your mother. You make everyone who loves you suffer! If you had an ounce of true love in your heart you would send Jinhai away before he suffers even more than he already has! Whatever is coming to you, you deserve it a thousand-fold!”_

_Zuko falls to the ground and cries, “Jin, forgive me! My love forgive me! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”_

_Jin looks at Zuko with scorn and turns as she walks away from him. He watches paralyzed as she fades into the setting sun._

_Zuko continues to cry and plead, “Jin! Oh, Jin! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m so-“_

Zuko feels his arm being shaken. 

“Daddy! Wake up!” Jinhai shouts. 

Zuko opens his eyes and takes deep breaths to calm himself. Once he feels calm, he pushes his sweaty black hair out of his face as Jinhai hands him some water to drink. 

Zuko drinks it all quickly and sits up surveying the room as his eyes adjust to the darkness. He looks over at Jinhai and their eyes meet. 

Jinhai quietly says, “Dad, you were shaking and saying mom’s name. Did you have a bad dream about her?”

“You could say that.” Zuko says hesitantly. 

Jinhai asks, “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Zuko speaks in a hoarse whisper, “I-I saw your mother, but she said some hurtful things.”

“Dad, you know it wasn’t really her, it wasn’t real. Mom would never say anything mean to you.”

“I know.” Zuko says, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Jinhai’s lips curve upwards as he says, “The only people she didn’t like were those mean customers from the middle ring. Remember how she used to call them the iguana parrots?”

“Yes, because they all used to repeat things they overheard in the upper-ring even when they had no idea what those things meant.” Zuko smiles softly remembering how he used to lay his head on Jin’s lap as she ranted about them. 

Jinhai hangs his head as he whispers, “Daddy, I don’t want to forget her.”

Zuko puts his hand on Jinhai’s shoulder, “Hey! We’ll never forget her. You know why?”

Jinhai raises his head to look at Zuko, “Why?”

Zuko forms a small flame in his left hand. “Buddy, look at me.”

Zuko taps his finger on his forehead, “Because she’s in here.” Zuko moves his right hand and places it over his heart. “And she’s in here. Okay?”

Jinhai smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “Okay.”

“Now, go back to sleep. You are a growing boy and need your rest,” Zuko says as he lets out the flame. 

Jinhai lays back down to go back to sleep, pushing the furs up around him like a cocoon. 

Zuko lays back down again but knows he won’t fall back asleep. He turns his body towards Jinhai to watch his gentle breathing as he sleeps. He clears his mind of everything else but Jinhai and waits for the sun to rise. 

Zuko sits up as the sun is about to rise. He breathes out in anticipation, as he begins to feel the sun’s warmth. He feels calm as he welcomes in the new day. He looks over at Jinhai as his son begins to stir. Zuko can’t help but chuckle as he watches Jinhai cover his head under the furs. 

“Little one, do you want to meditate with Daddy?” 

Jinhai is still under the furs as he says, “No, I’m going to go back to sleep, it’s too early.” 

Zuko speaks softly, “Oh, Jinhai please. I know you are scared but I also know you can still feel the warmth. It is alright to listen to it; it is Agni’s gift to us.” He continues, “You do not have to fear it, it is a blessing passed down from our ancestors. Firebending is a tool, it is about how you choose to use it.” 

Jinhai pushes the furs down and sits up, glaring at Zuko. “I don’t want to use it, Dad! I’ll never bend again, is that what you want to hear! It hurts people and I don’t want to hurt people!”

Zuko’s heart sinks to his stomach. His arm starts to reach out to touch Jinhai, but he pulls it back. “Jinhai, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this; you don’t deserve any of this.” 

Zuko shudders and his voice breaks as he says, “I respect your choice. I won’t ask you about it again but if you ever wish to speak to me about it, I’m here.” 

Jinhai sighs and turns his body away from Zuko. Zuko watches as Jinhai pulls the furs up around him. 

“I’ll always love you and be here for you, my little sun,” Zuko declares firmly. 

“Love you, too.” Jinhai says but his words are slurred with sleep.

Zuko leans over and presses a kiss into Jinhai’s hair. 

Zuko walks to the corner setting up his candles for meditation. 

Once he finishes meditating, he opens his eyes to see Jinhai still asleep. Zuko feels an urgent need to move, to bend, to be outside. 

He puts on his parka, boots, and gloves and gets ready to leave when he remembers something. 

He walks next door to Toph’s room. He prays to the spirits that she isn’t in a foul mood. 

He knocks lightly on the door and waits. Then as he is about to knock more firmly, Toph slides it open. 

Zuko looks down at her and resists the urge to laugh at her wild black mane. 

“Hi, Toph,” He says as gently as possible. 

Toph speaks through clenched teeth, “Sparky, are you aware that it is early...really really really early?” 

“Yes, I am,” Zuko replies. 

“Are you aware that all normal people are asleep at this time?” 

Zuko hesitates as he says, “I- I guess I’m not normal then.” 

Toph smirks and says, “Your words not mine.” 

Zuko fidgets, looking at the floor as he says, “I want to go practice my bending.” 

“Okay, what does that have to do with me?” Toph crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at him. 

Zuko whisper-shouts, “Did you forget that I cannot go anywhere in this place without you escorting me!”

“I didn’t but I hoped you did,” Toph lets out as she rubs her temples. 

“I’ll wait for you here.” Zuko says firmly. 

“I didn’t even say I was coming!” Toph whisper-shouts at him. 

“You didn’t have to,” Zuko says with a smirk and he leans against the wall as Toph slides her door closed. 

Zuko stands clenching and flexing his fingers as he waits for Toph. 

Toph walks out of her room with hair styled and her gloves on. Zuko helps her walk down the stairs and out the inn. They walk out of the city as the blasts of cold air wash over them. He looks around as the sunshine illuminates the blues of the sky and the whites of the city. 

As they walk, Toph turns to him and blurts out, “Is the kid not coming? Did the solid Earth Kingdom genes win out?” 

“He didn’t want to come.” Zuko sighs. 

“Why?” 

“He said it was too early.” 

“Smart kid.” Toph grins. 

They reach an open area with some benches and Toph sits as Zuko practices his exercises. He goes through the katas, feeling the connection with the sun and his element. It's comforting to know that no matter where he is in this world, the sun will never leave him. Even here, at the bottom of the world, shunned and feared, Agni’s light is with him. He stops to wipe the sweat off his brow. 

Zuko puts a hand on his hip and turns at Toph. She’s sitting on the wooden bench with her fur hood up and arms wrapped around her small body. Zuko asks, “Do you want to spar?”

Toph throws her head back and laughs, “Fuck no! Do you not feel how cold it is!”

“Firebender, remember?” Zuko smirks. 

Zuko continues his movements, letting go of all the anger, hurt, and frustration that he’s felt since he’s arrived here. 

He would usually practice for much longer, but he is mindful of Toph and the weather, so he stops. 

He opens his mouth to speak to her and hears a loud snore. “Toph! Toph!” 

Toph springs up off the bench. “What! What happened! Don’t tell me you melted a building already!” 

“What? No! I just finished exercising while you fell asleep on the job.” Zuko retorts. 

“Oh.” Toph says softly as she sits back down on the bench. 

“All you can say is oh? What would your companions think?” Zuko says in a teasing tone. 

Toph gruffly says, “Bold of you to assume I care about anyone's thoughts other than my own.” 

“You didn’t answer my question, what would they think?” Zuko asks half-serious. 

Toph shouts, “You didn’t answer my question either!” 

“Yes, I did!” Zuko half-shouts. 

Toph protests, “No, there’s more going on there, I can tell. Your heartbeat went up.” 

“My heartbeat? What does-” Zuko begins. 

Toph interjects, “Yeah, I can tell when people are lying. It’s not as effective here as it is in other places because of the snow. It feels fuzzy, like everything is further away than it should be.” 

“Something happened… something that I’d rather not discuss.” Zuko falters. 

Toph begins to speak in a softer tone. “It had to do with your wife, right?” 

Zuko snaps, “Yes, she’s dead okay! There’s your answer.” He pushes his hair back and lets out a breath as he sits down on the bench next to her. 

Toph places her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” 

“Her death wasn’t your fault.” Zuko snarls as he covers his eyes with his hand. 

_I hate you! Spirits, I hate you so much! I slept in your arms for years and never even knew your name! I suffered to bring your child into this world, and you lied to me the whole time!_

_(It was mine)_

Toph says solemnly, “I’m still sorry.” 

The two of them linger in silence for several moments until Toph speaks again. 

Toph says calmly, “Well, the problem with my friends...it’s Aang.” 

“Aang?” Zuko queries. 

“All this time and you don’t even know the Avatar’s name!” Toph exclaims. 

Zuko responds as quickly as he can, “I just thought of him as the Avatar. I didn’t really care to learn his name.” 

Toph shakes her head. She continues, “Anyways, Katara has been shielding Aang from literally everything since she first met him. Any criticism, any doubt, any challenges, she stops them before they even get to him or re-assures him immediately after he hears them. Sokka and I want him to be better. To be the actual Avatar, to be more involved, to have more urgency. Like we are all busting our asses organizing the war effort while he slacks off and she lets him get away with it.” 

“Because she’s his lover.” Zuko speculates. 

Toph winces, “I wouldn’t exactly use that word.” 

Zuko hesitantly asks, “But aren’t they in a relationship?” 

Toph rubs her eyes, “Yeah, I would say girlfriend because she is a friend who is a girl who he sometimes kisses. She’s more like his mother than anything else.” 

Zuko pulls a face. “Umm, that’s very interesting.” 

“You actually don’t care at all do you?” Toph says with a half-grin. 

“I mean, I do.” Zuko admits. “More about him neglecting his duties and less about his romantic dalliances with the waterbender.” 

Toph snickers. 

Zuko turns towards her, “What is so entertaining?” 

“You, your mannerisms. I never thought I’d find someone stuffier than my parents yet here you are! How you were able to fool people in the lower ring, I’ll never understand. How did you explain your behavior?” 

Zuko takes the insult in stride and replies, “I think everyone just assumed that all colonials acted like we did.” 

Toph continues to laugh. 

Zuko says as he shakes the snow out of his hair. “I’m glad that you find this amusing, but could you tell me more about _Aang_?” 

“Why?” 

Zuko asserts, “As his sifu, it’s important for me to know what type of pupil he is.” 

Toph gets up as she and Zuko begin to walk back towards the inn. “I can tell you all about that. He is lazy. Truly lazy. He is an air bending prodigy, so he never had to put in work to learn it.” 

Zuko furrows his brow, “A prodigy.” Zuko is not surprised, he noticed similarities between the Avatar and his sister back then. As a child, the Avatar was nimble and quick. Fighting him was mentally and physically taxing. Zuko can only imagine what fighting him now is like. But even with all his abilities, Zuko knows that fighting his father will be incredibly difficult for the Avatar even after he masters firebending. His father has raw power, strength, and resolve that few people have ever come close to. 

Toph continues, “Well, when I first started teaching him earthbending-“ 

*

Zuko stands in the kitchen with Hanta. Amka is in the main dining area sweeping up after the lunchtime crowd. Zuko tells Hanta that he would like to start as their tea maker. 

Hanta laughs and places his hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “Friend, I didn’t think you would actually take me up on my offer!”

Zuko squints his eyes, focusing on Hanta’s expression. “Do you not want me to work?”

Hanta grins, “Oh, course I do! As long as you want to.”

Zuko pauses and thinks. 

_If I work, I’ll be busy. If I’m busy, I won’t fixate on my failings. If I don’t fixate on my failings, I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. I can be okay._

Zuko says, “I want to.” 

Hanta grins, “Good. Well, I’ll be at the market picking up the ingredients for tonight’s dinner. Your boy told me he’s looking forward to trying some arctic hen.”

“If you and Sesi are making it, I am sure it will be a splendid meal.” Zuko replies. 

“I’ll see you later but if you need anything or have any questions, just ask Amka.” 

“Of course, thank you.” Zuko nods. 

Zuko walks into the supply closet. It is calming, the simplicity of it. He enjoys reorganizing the various pots, trays, and bowls into their correct sets. He smiles, remembering doing this with Uncle on the night before they first opened the Jasmine Dragon. 

Spirits, he misses Uncle. He says a quick prayer for Agni to keep him in good spirits and in good health. He knows that Azula and their father are unlikely to kill Uncle. Killing the Dragon of the West would turn him into a martyr amongst his supporters and any opposition groups, but that does not mean that they can’t make his time in prison terrible. They could lock him deep underground, far from Agni’s light. Zuko stops himself before he begins to worry. It will do him no good to think about such things. All he can do is help the Avatar and hope that Mai and Ty Lee find some way to get his uncle out of prison. 

“Zuko! Someone is here to see you!” Zuko turns as he hears Amka’s voice through the door. 

“Who?” Zuko walks out of the back room and stops dead in his tracks when he sees _her_. 

She is taller than she was before but then he is as well. Her chestnut hair is neatly placed in the traditional braid and her parka is well-made with accents on the shoulders and skirt unlike his very simple one. Her blue eyes are sharp as she focuses on him. He feels awkward just standing there looking at her but he notes that she is doing the same thing to him. 

Zuko begins to hesitantly speak, “Master Katara, would you like some tea?” 

She presses her lips together then says, “No, Prince Zuko. I would just like to speak to you.”

“Zuko.” He says.

“What?” Katara asks. 

He replies, “Just call me Zuko.”

“Then it’s only fair that you call me Katara,” She insists. 

“Of course, Katara. We can speak back here.” Zuko says as he directs her towards the closet. 

Katara walks back with him and furrows her brow. She tilts her head at him as she says, “This is a supply closet.”

“Yes, I think you would prefer speaking here over out in the open or my room.” Zuko says sheepishly. 

She narrows her eyes at him and looks him over. “I’d prefer to not speak to you at all.”

Zuko lets out a breath, “Then why are you here? Why did you come here? This is pretty out of the way from your father’s home in the center of town.”

She harshly replies, “I don’t live with my father, not that that is any of your concern.”

Zuko scowls, “Look, if you are going to waste my time then I’ll be going back to work.”

Zuko turns to leave and stops when he hears her say, “Wait.”

He turns back towards her and asks his question again. “ _Why_ are you here?” 

(To try to see what they see. To see what kind of man Toph would rush to defend; to see what kind of man the innkeeper would plead for; to see what kind of man the Avatar would wake from his months-long slumber to defend.)

(Why did you look like you had already accepted your death? How could you be so calm in the face of all that?)

(She could tell him this or ask him these things, but she doesn’t.)

Instead she begins to speak, “Look, I- ,” but stops before she actually says anything. She looks at him, dressed in her people’s clothes, and it angers her so much and she isn’t even sure why. She becomes so angry that the reasons that she came to see him no longer remain the focus of her thoughts. Her thoughts are now of him. His posture, his gaze, and his overall appearance. He looks too relaxed, too at ease. She remembers the gleeful faces of the Raiders as they attacked her village. The dark look in the eyes of her mother’s murderer. Zuko’s own face when he took Aang away from her village. 

_He shouldn’t be here. Spirits, he shouldn’t be here._

Yet here he is. Living amongst her people, working in a restaurant like he belongs here. Like he wasn’t just spared from death. He should be scared or at least nervous and uncomfortable, but he just looks calm, maybe even a little bored. He should be afraid, afraid of them, afraid of her. He should be cowering in his room, counting the hours until Aang wakes up. 

She asks harshly, “Why do you look so happy?” 

His laugh is sardonic as he says, “Happy? You think I look happy? I’m not, I just feel vindicated.” 

She clenches her jaw and queries, “Vindicated?” 

_I must have misheard him. There is no way that he can actually feel-_

Zuko’s voice interrupts her thoughts. “Yes, you and your tribe lied to me. You told me the Avatar was dead despite there being very clear evidence that he lived. You sought to shame me and even kill me. And the Avatar, _your_ precious Avatar, came in and defended me. He accepted my help and stated that I have a great destiny.” 

She is shocked into silence as they lock eyes, gold and blue, the sun and the sea. She hears nothing but his breath and her own. She doesn’t know what to say, she doesn’t even know how to begin to respond to him. 

The silence is broken by him. 

He whispers with a secret smile, “I know.” ( _you_ ) 

“What? What are you talking about?” Katara says through tight lips. 

He keeps his distance from her but the look in his eyes changes. It looks familiar, more familiar to her, it reminds her of before. Katara remembers a tree, a bribe, pirates, a river, and the midnight sky. 

He speaks in a hushed tone, “You think I don’t know why you are here? I know what you are...you are a coward.” 

She nearly jumps back, jolted. Her face grows hot as her heart races. 

He continues and she can see the ridges of his neck, “You are worse than all those people who were wishing for my death. I _saw_ you; I _saw_ you standing up to speak and all it took was your brother’s hand to sit you down again.” 

His eyes darken, “You think I don’t know what you want from me? You want me to absolve you so you can feel better about yourself. So, you can sleep soundly tonight. So, you can go back to feeling that you are good, and I am bad just like you’ve thought your whole life. But you aren’t good and many in your tribe aren’t either. There are few truly good or pure things left in this world!”

“Why you-” Katara’s heart continues to pound as blood rushes to her ears. 

_How? How could he know?_

His eyes narrow and his smile is wolfish, “So doubt and fear and feel ashamed for the rest of your life because you won’t get what you are looking for from me! Not until you earn it! Now if you don’t have anything else to say, I would like to go back to work.” He turns away from her and begins to walk towards the door. Katara stands there shaking with rage as he walks away. Like she isn’t still there, like she was never there to begin with. 

She finds her voice again, “You’re a terrible and cruel person! You think just because the Avatar made some speech, I will forget your past? Forget who you are and what you’ve done? How long do you think you can fight against what you truly are? I don’t care what anyone says, I’ll never trust you.” 

He turns his body towards her, his eyes gleaming under the light of the room. His mouth is tight as he says, “I don’t need your trust; I don’t even want it. I’m here to help the Avatar not be your friend.” He continues in a rasping tone, “When this is all over, I’ll go back to my country with my son, surrounded by my people and give thanks to Agni that I never have to see the likes of you or this place ever again.” 

She walks towards him, getting into his face. “If even for one second you give me a reason to think that you’ll betray Aang, that you are hiding something...I will end your destiny permanently.” 

Zuko laughs, “Your precious Avatar would stop you before then. Did you not hear him? He said that will fulfill my destiny. He believes that I will right the wrongs of my ancestors.”

Katara’s lips purse and her fists clench. “He can’t stop me! I can hurt you in ways you can’t even begin to understand.”

The look in Zuko’s eyes changes and to Katara it looks like something close to shock. “You would truly do that? You would take me from my son?” 

Katara’s heart softens, realizing the implication of what she said. His son is a sweet boy, a boy who doesn’t deserve that. But Katara isn’t going to let Zuko know that she won’t go through with it. As long as he thinks she is willing to kill him, he won’t betray Aang. She prays he doesn’t ever betray Aang.

Her voice hardens and she says, “Your son wouldn’t be the first child to lose a parent to this war.” 

Zuko goes silent and stares at her blankly. His stare looks like he didn’t even hear what she said, or he did and her words did something, broke something. Katara falters, she knows she went too far, that she crossed a line. 

She hesitantly begins, “Zuko-”

“Get out of here! Just get out of here!” Zuko shouts. 

Katara turns and exits the room as quickly as she can. As she is leaving, she bumps into Amka knocking the broom out of her hand. The teenager looks at Katara confused as she watches her stumble out of the restaurant. 

“Hey! Are you okay?” Amka shouts after her. 

After Katara leaves the room, Zuko finds himself leaning his back on a cabinet, sliding towards the floor. He puts his head in his hands once he feels the floor beneath him. He focuses himself, thinking on the people who love him. Jinhai and Uncle. Jinhai and Uncle. Jinhai and Uncle. Jinhai and Uncle. 

But thinking of them reminds him of how he’s failed them. 

His uncle got captured so that he and Jinhai could escape. Now Iroh is trapped with a niece who never liked him and a brother who envied him. 

Jinhai...his beautiful son. His beloved son, the greatest gift he’s ever been given in this life. When Zuko thinks of Jinhai, he feels that his heart could burst, that the love he feels for Jinhai is too much for his body to hold.

Jinhai once again has no idea what danger his father has led him into. Zuko made the wrong choice once again. The wrong choice for Jinhai. No matter what he does, no matter what he tries to do, he ends up hurting Jinhai. Jinhai has lost his mother and may lose his father. He knows that the waterbender would truly kill him if she ever felt he was a threat to the Avatar. 

But Zuko remembers the Avatar’s words. He starts laughing, this situation is comical. The court jesters and playwrights of Caldera have nothing on the gods. 

The Avatar...the very same Avatar he chased around the world...stood up in front of the tribe that he threatened years ago in order to find him. He stood in front of that tribe and accepted Zuko as his sifu. These truly must be the end of days. 

Amka opens the door and blurts out, “Zuko, are you okay? Master Katara ran out of here like she saw a spirit or something.” 

Zuko still has his head in his hands and his voice is muffled as he says, “No, Amka. I am not okay.” 

“Oh, umm. Do you want me to get Master Toph or one of my parents?” Amka asks gently. 

Zuko lifts his head and stammers, “No, Amka I-. Please, I just need to sit here for a moment.” 

“Okay.” Amka quietly closes the door and Zuko continues to sit. 

“Relax,” he mutters to himself, “Zuko, relax.” 

*

It’s cold, really cold. Jinhai looks up at the clouds in the sky and tries to make out some shapes in them. He thinks he sees a dog or a bear in one, but he can’t be sure. The snow keeps getting into his eyes and cheeks. Jinhai pushes snow off his cheeks and eyelashes with his gloved hand. He then pulls his arms closer around him as Cupun and Siqiniq huddle on either side of him. 

The twins still ask why he’s so warm, but he refuses to tell them the real reason. He doesn’t want them to know that he can...that he is able to ~~firebend~~. They know he’s both Fire National and Earth Kingdom and they are okay with that. But that doesn’t mean he wants them to know that he can bend like his dad. He’s known since he was really little that a lot of people are scared of ~~firebending~~ , that’s why he had to hide it in Ba Sing Se but here it feels different. Some of the people here already look at him weirdly because of his dad and if they knew that he could also ~~fire~~ -

No, Jinhai won’t even think about it. Maybe if he doesn’t think about it, he’ll forget how to do it. Maybe he’ll wake up one day and not be able to do it anymore. Grandpa Mush- _Iroh_ , he reminds himself, his grandfather's name is Iroh. His grandfather who isn’t actually his grandfather, but his great-uncle is named Iroh. 

Grandpa _Iroh_ would always tell him that if he didn’t practice his etiquette, he would forget it. Maybe ~~firebending~~ is like etiquette. Jinhai knows it's not, that ~~firebending~~ is much deeper than that, that ~~firebending~~ is a part of him as much as his hands or his feet but he wonders. Maybe he doesn’t need to forget bending but the part of himself that enjoyed it. The part of himself that woke up at sunrise and enjoyed meditation with his dad. The part of himself that would half-jump when his grandpa or dad would show him new katas. 

He remembers how some of the refugees in the lower ring had red marks on their arms or legs, but he had always thought they were birthmarks. He never thought that they could be anything else until he overheard some teachers at school whispering in a corner about the war and how the Fire Nation burns people. At that moment, he realized that maybe all those red marks he saw were burns, that maybe his dad’s mark was a burn. So that night when Jinhai was getting tucked into bed by his dad, he asked him when the Fire Nation had burned him. His dad’s face fell immediately and Jinhai saw something in his eyes, something he had never seen before. Even though Jinhai didn’t understand what he saw in his father’s eyes, he knew to never ask about it again. Now he knows that what he saw in his father’s eyes was pain. 

Jinhai used to think it was maybe an accident but now he knows for sure that someone used fire to hurt his dad just like that woman, his...aunt...used it to hurt his mom. And if fire can hurt those refugees, his dad, and his mom then Jinhai knows he doesn’t want to ~~firebend~~ ever again. 

He knows it makes his dad sad and he never wants to make his dad sad, but he can’t do it. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone, not accidentally and definitely not on purpose. 

Cupun is pressing so close to him that she steps on his foot, breaking his train of thought. 

“Ow! Cupun!” He exclaims. 

“Sorry, Jinhai.” She says sheepishly.

Jinhai likes his friends, he really likes Cupun, Siqiniq, Amka, and their parents. They are all really nice and fun to be around. He also really likes Master Toph. 

But why his dad agreed to have him go help Master Toph and the girls, he’ll never know. Well, he does know. Dad crouched down and started talking about chivalry, honor, and showing gratitude and Jinhai got bored because his dad talks about those things a lot. So, he just started thinking of something else like the arctic hen Sesi is going to make for dinner. Hanta told him that it tastes just like possum chicken which Jinhai loves. 

He hears Siqiniq begin to speak so he turns his head towards her. 

“Master Toph, why are we leaving the city again?” Siqiniq says as the three of them walk alongside her. 

“Kids remember I told you all to just call me Toph. That Master stuff is for my students and for grownups. Okay?”

“Okay,” The three kids respond as they keep up with her. 

Jinhai hesitantly says, “You didn’t tell us why we are leaving the city.”

Toph replies quickly, “We are going to my friend Katara’s igloo to pick up my stuff. She’s kind of old-fashioned and taking some stand against the way the town is being built. She thinks people are forgetting their heritage. Why bother to fight against progress is how I look at it.” 

The children nod, not fully understanding but not wanting to let Toph know that. They reach a group of tents and igloos right in front of the entrance of town. 

They walk through the igloos and Toph makes them count each one to let her know how many they have passed. Toph mutters, “I’m pretty sure it's this one, the fifth one on the left in the third row.” 

Just as Toph is about to open the door, a man opens it. 

‘Toph! What are you doing here?” The burly man exclaims.

“Snoozles, I could ask you the same thing.” Toph says. 

The man looks at Toph with a hint of mischief in his light blue eyes. 

The man rubs his cheek as he looks down at them, “And you brought kids with you…” 

“Hi kids!” He says as he waves at them. 

The burly man, Sokka, looks at all three of them but his eyes linger on Jinhai. Jinhai’s eyes narrow and he wonders if the man even remembers him. Jinhai remembers that the man came with his dad their first day in the city and that he didn’t see his dad again until the next morning. 

“Jinhai, Cupun, Siqiniq, this is Sokka. Sokka, these are the kids.” Toph declares. 

“We know, Toph! We all met him before, that day that they took Jinhai’s dad to-“, Siqiniq looks nervous and stops mid-sentence. Jinhai scowls. He knows that their parents told them not to talk about what happened to his dad that day…. because they both came and told him that their parents told them to not talk about what happened to his dad that day.

Now, Jinhai himself doesn’t know the details. His dad just told him that some people talked to him for a long time, but they didn’t really trust him because of his past until the Avatar said that he wanted him to be his sifu. The only problem is the Avatar fell asleep again, so he and Dad have to stay here until the Avatar wakes up. Jinhai understands that and maybe his dad thinks the details are too boring for a kid, but he doesn’t think so. If that was true, then Hanta and Sesi wouldn’t care if the twins talked to Jinhai about it. All this makes Jinhai think that more happened to his dad and this man, Sokka, probably knows about it. 

Toph questions him, “What are you even doing here? Where’s Sugar Queen?”

Sokka rubs the back of his neck, “I just came here to pick up some maps that I left here to take them to my dad’s place and Katara is training...I think.” 

“Come on kids, let’s go inside.” Toph ushers them into the igloo. 

Jinhai looks around the igloo, it is decorated similarly to his room at the inn with different furs and decorative pieces along with wooden furniture. He shivers slightly as it is much colder in the igloo than the inn. Siqiniq and Cupun immediately start touching whatever they can get their hands on and asking questions. Jinhai lingers behind them near the door. 

He gasps when he sees a lemur jump out of some furs and scurry towards him. Jinhai holds his arm out so the lemur can climb up on him. 

“Hey, little guy! I’m Jinhai.” He smiles as the lemur curls on his shoulder and starts chattering. 

Toph smiles, “That's Momo. I’m not surprised he likes you; he likes your dad too.”

“What?” Sokka half-shouts. 

Jinhai narrows his eyes at him when he sees the man looking at him. Sokka’s eyes don’t look mean but the man almost seems like he’s searching for something. 

Jinhai feels weird under his gaze and questions him. “Why are you looking at me? Did I do something wrong?”

Sokka grimaces, “No! You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Jinhai probes him, “What is the problem then?”

“Umm, you look like your dad.” Sokka says flatly. 

Jinhai scratches Momo’s head and asks, “Aren’t kids supposed to look like their parents?”

“Yeah but I used to know your dad and-” Sokka suddenly stops talking. 

“And what?” Jinhai frowns slightly. 

Sokka shakes his head. “Nothing, nothing at all. Do you want to look at some maps?”

“Maps of where?” Jinhai’s voice gives away his interest. 

“The Earth Kingdom.” Sokka says with a half-grin. 

Jinhai’s face immediately brightens. “Yeah!”

Sokka directs him to a desk and brings over a chair from him to sit on. Sokka brings over two maps, one of Ba Sing Se and the other of the broader Earth Kingdom. 

“So I’m guessing you like maps?”

Sokka listens as Jinhai talks about trips to the library of Ba Sing Se University and the mochi shop across the street. 

Sokka crosses his arm and tilts his head, “Huh, you really are from Ba Sing Se.” 

Jinhai raises his eyebrow, “You thought that I wasn’t?”

Sokka quickly replies, “No, I mean,-. Why don’t you point out some of the places you’ve been to on the map?”

Jinhai and Sokka sit and look over the map. Sokka points out the cities that he’s been to and Jinhai points to the cities he remembers passing through to get to Gang. 

Sokka taps his foot and looks at the floor as he asks, “So what other stuff has your...um...dad taught you?”

Jinhai talks about etiquette, geography, history, basic self-defense, and some of the basic principles of Fire Nation citizenship.

“Does he know that you’re only a little kid?” 

To Jinhai, Sokka sounds like he’s joking but he also thinks he sounds kind of serious. “I won’t always be a kid!” Jinhai firmly says, “Anyways, my dad says that knowledge is the greatest gift a person can gain.”

“Well, your dad is an… interesting guy.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jinhai bares his teeth. 

Sokka quickly says, “Nothing just that he’s not like other people.”

Jinhai fixes a piercing glance on Sokka and declares, “Well, I love him and I think he’s the best!”

Before Sokka can respond, Toph says, “Kid, come here! The twins can’t carry everything.”

Jinhai gets up from the desk with Momo on his head and walks over to where the twins have compiled Toph’s stuff. 

Toph walks over to where Sokka is and purses her lips together. She leans in and asks, “What were you talking to him about?” 

“Maps.” Sokka replies flatly. 

*

Waterbending always brought Katara peace. The fluid and graceful movements centered her, made her feel a part of something greater than herself. She has a legacy to maintain, the legacy of all the Southern waterbenders who came before her. It was her life that her mother died to protect and Katara will live it in service of her people. She will teach others the knowledge and tradition of her people. 

She swirls two orbs of water around her as she tries to focus. 

_I am water on a stone, smooth and flowing. I am water on a stone, smooth and flowing. I am water on a_ \- shit. 

Katara drops the water to the floor and covers her face with her hands. She can’t concentrate, her mind feels hazy, like she is here but not. She knows why.

 _Zuko_

She closes her eyes and pictures the empty stare on his face. He was looking at her but he looked to be far away. She hurt him, something she said pierced him so deeply that he looked shattered. 

She doesn’t know why she said those things when she went there to apologize to him. She was the one who sought him out and she couldn’t even say the words. 

He was right about her. She is a coward; she was the night of his trial and she was this morning when she went to see him. She wanted forgiveness from him when she had done nothing to earn it. She wanted everything to go back to the way it was before.

She should have at least forced herself to say the words, she couldn’t even manage to say two simple words. Gods, she should have at least said the words but once she saw him...she couldn’t do it. He seemed so comfortable there, living, working. The innkeeper’s daughter was sweeping the dining area like she didn’t have the Fire Nation prince in the next room. She treated him like he was a regular human being, like he didn’t chase the Avatar across the world. 

Katara saw him, looking so ordinary and simple in the restaurant and she couldn’t take it. Anger, so white hot, pooled it to her stomach like his element was burning her from the inside-out. Like with his mere presence he was burning her. But he didn’t do anything to her. He only said things, things that she probably deserved to hear.

She knows she needs to apologize, to truly apologize but she also knows she shouldn’t. She obviously can’t do or say the right thing when it involves him. So, she resolves to just stay away from him, to stay away until Aang wakes up and decides what to do. 

“Katara?” Her ears perk up and she turns to see Master Pakku standing in the doorway. 

“Master Pakku! How are you?” Katara exclaims as she walks over to him to give him a hug. She calls him Gran-Pakku but when she is in the bending academy in her official capacity as an instructor she calls him Master Pakku. 

His sharp eyes look at her face and she knows that he can tell that something is wrong. 

“Katara, what do you think of taking a walk with me through the town square?”

Katara nods as she pushes tears back. Pakku and Katara walk leisurely through the town as she tells him about everything. All her fears, her guilt, and what she said during her failed attempt at apologizing to Prince Zuko. 

He doesn’t react, he doesn’t judge, he just listens attentively as his forehead occasionally creases.

His voice is firm when he looks at Katara and says, “I think you are right. I think you should stay away from him. He is also right when he says that he does not necessarily need your trust or friendship. This is a time of war and we must make do with what we have. Even if that means working with those we may find unfavorable.”

Katara begins to open her mouth to speak but closes it, considering Pakku’s position. 

Pakku continues, “The Avatar chose him to be his sifu and until he says otherwise, you must respect his choice.”

Katara frowns slightly and declares, “I don’t like this, I don’t like this at all.”

Pakku replies, “I know but if he helps us, so be it.” His eyes go icy as he says, “But if he betrays us not even the gods can save him.”

Katara whispers a quiet thank you and walks back to the academy to prepare for her students. 

Pakku stands looking around at the families living out their daily lives. He lips twitch up slightly, thinking of the progress the tribe has made it such a short period of time. He is proud to have played a role in that. 

He spots one of his more advanced students, Chu, from one of the inner villages that was spared the raids. The Southern Raiders didn’t bother going past the outermost villages, focusing their efforts on the larger villages closer to the ocean. 

“Chu!” Pakku shouts. 

The girl turns her head and runs towards him. She is moderately talented, in the middle of his higher-level students but is eager to please and find ways to improve. 

“Master Pakku, I hope you are well.” Chu says firmly. 

“I always am, Chu. Now, I need you to deliver a message for me.” Pakku strokes his beard. “It is a very important and sensitive message, okay. You cannot tell anyone else that I had you do this. I am picking you above other students for this task because I believe you are trustworthy.”

Chu’s teal eyes brighten, and she grins, “Where would you need me to deliver this message, Master Pakku?”

“Do you know where Hanta’s inn and restaurant is?”

Chu nods. 

“I need you to deliver a note to Prince Zuko.”

Chu’s eyes widen but she keeps her voice steady as she says, “Yes, Master Pakku. Where is the note?”

Pakku takes a note out of his pocket and hands it to Chu. 

Chu furrows her brow as she reads the note, “What exactly does this mean?”

Pakku huffs, “Chu, do not concern yourself with the meaning of the message, as you are _not_ its intended recipient. Just deliver it to Prince Zuko and return in time for afternoon lessons. Is that understood?”

Chu nods and turns to walk off towards Hanta’s inn. She mumbles to herself, “How does a white lotus even have secrets?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have absolutely no idea if this chapter is good. About Zuko and Katara, uhhh...when I tagged this enemies to friends to lovers, I meant it. This chapter was only lightly edited because I wanted to post it as soon as possible for you all. If anyone has any questions, criticisms, or advice please feel free to share or ask! This is my first story so I appreciate constructive criticism. Thank you to everyone who has commented, left kudos, and bookmarked this story, you all keep me motivated.


	9. the waterbender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katara's life in moments.

**chapter eight** : the waterbender

The sunlight comes through the window like golden thread, twisting and turning around her. She looks out of the window and sees the architects working as one to remake the columns, bridges, towers, and structures that the siege destroyed. Soon everything will look as it did before, but they will remember. They will all remember. 

She gets up from the windowsill and walks over to the common area to eat. Aang is sitting at the table spinning a marble as Momo tries to catch it. Sokka is at the edge of the table preparing for a meeting with Chief Arnook, going over his notes. She sees the tension in his jaw and in his shoulders. 

She can’t help it. She worries. Not just for Aang but for them all. The worry sits on her heart like a stone. There is so much they must do, so many they must protect. Aang is a child, you can see that in the sparkle of his grey eyes and the innocence in his smile. He is a boy but he is not. He is so much more. He is the Avatar, the sole hope for this world. It is a burden that he carries, that he will carry for the rest of his life. It is heavy but Katara and Sokka will do what they can to help him shoulder it. 

She keeps looking over to Aang to make sure that he is safe, that he is real. That he was still tethered to the earth and won’t just float away or disappear out of reach. _Prince Zuko_ , she shudders. He was there, he had almost taken Aang away, but for the blizzard. 

_You rise with the moon, I rise with the sun._

Katara will never forget how his eyes glinted with satisfaction when he said those words. Her fist clenches as the sharp edge of anger returns. What kind of people are they? Why do they have this desire to conquer, to destroy, to cause suffering? Her Gran-Gran would rock her to sleep with stories of a peaceful world. A world where all the four nations lived together in harmony. Her belief in such a world lessened significantly after her mother’s death. But Aang, Aang knew that world, he lived in it, and maybe he could return them back to it. 

She says a prayer to Tui, La, and now _Yue_ for the safety of Aang as he completes this mission. Too many lives have been lost in this war. Her thoughts return to Yue. Kind and brave Yue. Her fierce love and devotion to her people saved them all. Her sacrifice will be remembered for generations to come. Katara’s smooth hand reaches across the table and squeezes Sokka’s hand. There is a pensive look in his eye when he looks up at her. She knows that he truly loved Yue despite their short time together. The guilt he feels from her death weighs on him but they do not speak of it. Sokka busies himself with meetings, training in various weaponry, and making connections among the tribe. 

Something shifts in the air and she can no longer just sit inside. She tells Aang and Sokka she is going to go train and leaves their house. Katara walks through Agna Qel’a and stands under a bridge to practice her bending. 

She moves the water gently back and forth, just to relax herself. A crack is heard behind her and she turns as two girls run away. She shouts after them to wait, that it was okay to watch but they keep running. Katara sighs and continues to move the water. 

The remembrance ceremony for Yue is beautiful. They all stand under the midnight sky as her parents, friends, and community share stories to honor her. A prayer is given then they all walk in a procession behind her parents to the edge of the city. Under the glow of lanterns, they all watch as her parents set a miniature boat on the water and push it out to the sea, never to return. 

The next day, the people gather as all the sixteen-year-old girls of the tribe get their hair dyed white. Sokka watches as the first girl gets her hair dyed then walks away. Katara does not see him again until dinner that night. As Aang rambles on about the tricks he and Momo do for the children, Sokka is silent. 

They resume waterbending training with Pakku. Katara continues to advance quickly, far surpassing any student Pakku has ever had. Aang is advancing but slower than anyone expected. He has talent but his heart and his mind are not in it. Aang does not respond well to Pakku’s style of teaching. Pakku is too gruff and formal for Aang. Behind Pakku’s back, Aang continues to call him Master Poop-head. After lessons, Katara takes the time to show him the forms, just the two of them behind their house. With her gentle instruction, Aang’s improvement accelerates. Pakku doesn’t say anything to either of them about it. It continues on this way. Pakku teaches Katara and Katara teaches Aang. 

She is walking back to the house one day, when she sees Sokka. He is sitting on a ledge with his feet hanging off into the water as he carves a knife. She sits next to her brother and lets him begin speaking. “I couldn’t save her, Katara. I failed her.” 

“Sokka, this isn’t your fault, you couldn’t-,” she begins. 

Sokka interrupts, “I know it’s not my fault, but I still feel like it is. You know what her parents told me?” 

“What?” She asks softly. 

“They told me that when I arrived, they saw a sparkle in her eye. That I made her happy, in her last weeks I gave her happiness and love.” 

She wraps her arm around him and strokes his hair. She whispers, “They are right, Sokka. You made her just as happy as she made you.” 

He gently moves out of her arms and takes her hand in his. 

“Katara, Chief Arnook told me that he wrote a letter to Dad. Dad is going to be coming here so they can talk about the future of the tribes. He said we’ve been estranged for too long.” 

Her eyes widen and a smile appears on her face. 

“Dad! Dad is coming here!” She exclaims as she jumps up. 

Sokka jumps up with her as he takes her into his arms. They cry but for once the tears are out of happiness. 

*

The warriors spend days removing the frozen corpses from the ocean. Many of the soldiers don't look much older than her and Sokka. These men and women probably never thought they would meet their end in a place like this. She wonders if Prince Zuko is among the dead. Katara doubts it, if anything Prince Zuko is a survivor. He is still out there somewhere, waiting, and planning. They will meet him again, she knows it. 

The warriors burn the bodies in a mass grave. Pakku directs the shamans in the proper burial procedures of the Fire Nation as to not upset the spirits by dishonoring them. Although a part of her wonders how Pakku knows the burial customs of the Fire Nation, she does not ask. Her focus is on making sure that Aang does not witness it. When he asks her what the warriors are doing, she tells him that they are removing the debris of the ships. She pulls him towards the training area before he can get closer to check. 

The female soldiers who were captured are sent away to the closest Fire Nation base immediately. There is a great debate over what to do with the male soldiers. Imprisonment is suggested but Chief Arnook stands and speaks. His face is solemn with sunken eyes and hollowed cheeks. His voice is loud but wavers as he talks of being tired of death, anger, and suffering. He releases the male soldiers but forces them to swear a vow of neutrality. The men swear it and go off into the wind. Chief Arnook turns and walks back to his palace with his wife. 

Aang is plagued by nightmares of his actions. She hoped that he did not remember it, but he remembers bits and pieces. He is afraid of what’s inside him, of what he can’t control. She promises to help him learn to control his great power once he masters waterbending. 

*

The almost cloudless sky is overhead as she practices her bending. 

She hears a quiet voice behind her, “Master Katara?” 

She drops the water and turns towards the voice. She sees two girls, around ten or eleven years old, looking at her with wide eyes. 

She smiles softly, “Hi. Are you the two girls from before?”

The two girls nod. They tell her that they are cousins and their names are Ahnah and Kallik. They agree to meet at that same spot later on that night. 

That night, the three of them work on the fundamentals. Katara teaches them how to create basic ripples in the water through pushing and pulling.

The next night, the girls bring two friends. The night after that, those friends bring friends. It continues on until Katara has more students than she ever thought possible. She sees a hunger in the eyes, the same one she must have had in her own eyes when she decided to fight Pakku. 

Katara’s days and nights are filled with lessons. Her own lessons with Pakku and Yugoda then the lessons she teaches to Aang and the girls. She is tired and unsure of how long she can keep it up. 

It goes on this way for two weeks until Aang realizes something is off about her. She oversleeps and almost misses her lesson with Pakku. Katara is never late and Aang confronts her. She tells him everything, how it started with Ahnah and Kallik and now has expanded with several other girls joining. Aang’s eyes brighten in mischief and he offers to help. He can help teach the beginner group while Katara focuses on the more advanced students. Katara pulls Aang into a hug and his face turns bright crimson when she kisses his cheek. 

The two of them huddle in Sokka’s room as they tell him about what Katara has been doing. Sokka sits on his bed and lets out a sigh. 

“Are you upset?” Katara asks with a raised brow. 

“No, I’m just surprised it took this long for you to do this.” He says with a half-grin. 

Katara and Aang laugh and pull Sokka into a hug as they start to create a plan. 

Sokka creates a code for the girls to use to speak about their lessons or issues. Aang and Katara both put their heads in their hands when they realize the code words all have to do with food. They develop a system where the beginner girls and the more advanced girls alternate the days, they attend classes. This is done to reduce the likelihood of them being caught by their families. The classes continue to expand to the point where Katara has ten students in each group. 

Tapeesa, a nineteen-year-old student, has a fiancé in the city night patrol. Sokka tells her to pretend to be interested in his job to get him to show her the patrol routes and where the guards are stationed. They create routes and various meeting places to avoid the patrols. The system is perfect, the girls are all advancing in their learning, and no one has been caught yet. It is a good thing that they have going but they all should have known that it would end eventually. 

Katara returns home from the healing hut to find a messenger standing outside of the house. 

The man’s eyes are hard when he tells her that she has been called before the High Council and Chief Arnook to explain her actions. 

Later, she sits in Master Pakku’s home with him. His sitting room is elaborate and refined, giving away his status as a noble of the tribe. The dark blue of his parka matches the dark blue accents of his home. He sips his red tea as she explains what happened. 

His eyes are sympathetic when he says, “Your father will be here in less than two months. Do you wish to make trouble for him before he even arrives?”

Katara exhales and says, “This has nothing to do with my dad! This is about this tribe and how it needs to be better! How it can be better but refuses to even try!”

Master Pakku furrows his brow and takes another sip. 

“You don’t get it do you? Did you think that you could just teach me and none of the other girls would care?” Katara questions. 

Pakku hangs his head and softly says, “I don’t know what I thought.”

Katara declares, “Change is coming, whether the High Council likes it or not. Things can’t go on this way.” 

Pakku looks into her eyes and she can see the tension in them. “You think I don’t know that.”

Katara raises her hands in exasperation. “Spirits, Master Pakku! Then help me, help us!” She exclaims. 

His voice is low when he says, “There is a way things are done here. We have the Low Council, High Council, committees, sub-committees, and the courts. You can’t push through all of that by sheer force of will. You must change them over time like flowing water erodes rock.” 

Katara’s eyebrow raises high to her hairline and she crosses her arms. “Where was this bureaucracy when you decided to teach me how to bend?”

Pakku holds his head in his hands. His voice is heavy when he utters. “You are not a member of this tribe! You are a Southern girl, the daughter of Hakoda the Sea Wolf! Descendant of Head Chieftain Tuktu! That is the only reason why no one objected once I agreed to teach you! These are Northern girls, from prestigious and influential families! Their fathers, if they don’t serve on the councils or the courts themselves, have friends who do! All these people will pressure the Chief! And in his moment of grief, he may not push back against them. My voice cannot override them all.” 

Katara pushes her shoulders back and her voice is thick when she says, “Well, maybe my voice can.”

*

She sits next to Sokka and Aang as Tapeesa’s father details how her fiancé came to him concerned about her strange behavior. He describes how he followed her and caught her learning with the class. When he confronted her about it, she yelled at him about how she felt her heart shatter more every time she saw him or her brothers bend. How she resented him and the tribe for keeping that experience from her. That the first time she truly felt like herself was in the class when she was learning to bend. He blames Katara, telling the High Council that his daughter never felt this way before she met her. 

The High Council erupts in shouts. 

“Southern heathen! She wishes to make us like the Fire Nation with their dragon women!” 

Katara stands and her voice booms out. “No! I have listened to you all! All your insults, your taunts! Now you will all listen to me! By the time I was born, all the master waterbenders had been taken by the Fire Nation. There was no one left to teach me, so my grandmother would take me to the coastline and show me some basic movements. I would practice those movements day in and day out. One day, the Fire Nation came back. I don’t know how they knew but they were looking for me. My mother was murdered to save my life. I resolved to become a master because she died to protect me and my gift. I was shocked to find that women were denied the right to use their bending here. A gift that the gods gave them, a gift that we can use to protect our people, our families. Who are you to deny us that right? Who gave you such power? Not the gods, the gods would never give us a gift we were not supposed to use.” 

The shouts resume and Pakku stands to speak. 

Pakku says, “Listen to her! She is right, we have done a great wrong. For generations, we have been denying women the right to use the gift that the gods gave them. May Tui and La be merciful on us for the suffering we have caused, the spirits we have broken.” 

Chief Arnook stands and tells the High Council to give him the night to come to a decision. 

The next day, the girls along with Sokka and Aang sit outside the palace waiting for Chief Arnook to deliver his decision. He walks to the courtyard in front of the palace, hand and hand with his wife. He raises his head up towards the heavens and announces, “My daughter came to me in a dream last night. She told me like water, we must change. It is time, it has long been time for this. Women can learn combat waterbending from now on. It is a decree that shall be put down amongst our laws.” 

A cry of joy goes out amongst the girls. The cheers and shouts echo around the whole square. 

If the men are angry, they do not say it, at least not in front of Katara. What they whisper in their meeting houses and homes, it does not matter. The tribe has changed, and it cannot go back. 

*

When Hakoda arrives in the tribe, there is a massive celebration. He is the first Southern chief to visit the tribe in generations. She hugs him when he arrives on the dock but later in their home, she is short with him. He has missed so much of her life she doesn’t know what to talk to him about. One day she breaks down and speaks to him about how he left them. He tells her about nights under the stars and days under the sun where all he thought about was them. They cry but they also smile, their family reunited finally. 

He is taken to visit the major points of the tribe. He meets with Chief Arnook, the councils, and other tribal leaders. He is introduced to two architects, Maliq and Malina. Maliq speaks of their plans in front of the tribe but in meetings with her dad, Sokka, and Pakku, it is Malina who speaks and answers questions.

Katara asks, “Why? Why don’t you speak in front of the tribe?”

Katara focuses on the pensive look in Malina’s eye as she softly replies, “We cannot all be like you, Katara.” 

*

Katara was excited to have another girl in the group. After three years of being around Aang and Sokka, she was elated to have someone to talk to about romantic legends, haircare, and their futures. 

Katara starts talking about the legend of the woman who married a whale and lived in the sea. 

Toph raises her hand and stops her. 

“Look, Sugar Queen. I’m not going to sit here and talk about froo-froo mushy gushy stuff like what kind of husband I want to have and what names I already picked out for my five children. I’m just not that kind of girl, okay.” 

Katara pouts as Toph walks over to Sokka and they snicker in the corner. Toph’s sense of humor is raunchy, sharpened by her experiences in the wrestling ring. Almost all of it goes over Aang’s head and Katara finds many of the jokes offensive. She’s annoyed by Toph’s reluctance to clean and help out. She’s annoyed by how tough she is on Aang. 

They are all tired and stressed. Katara cooks, mends their clothes, and keeps them together when tension sets in. She has been doing this all her life and doesn’t expect any thanks but sometimes it would be great for someone to help out for once. They never do. 

She and Aang start to grow closer around this time. He often speaks to her in hushed tones about his frustrations with earth bending. It goes against everything he’s ever known, everything that feels natural to him. She sits and listens, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. This is around the time she realizes Aang likes her, _really_ likes her. She should have seen it before, but she didn’t. He often blushes when he talks to her and goes out of his way to be near her. Aang also gets her little trinkets in the different towns and villages they stop in. She is not sure how to address it. It does not seem like the time for it anyways. 

Princess Azula is chasing them across the continent. No matter where they turn, she is right behind them, like a shadow. The Fire Nation expands their path of destruction by specifically targeting villages and towns that aided them along their travels. The situation comes to a head when they reach the town of Heng.

As they are about to enter, the mayor comes out. He is a slight man with a fringe of grey-white hair around his scalp. His eyes are hard when he decries Aang for his carelessness, for not seeing the impact of his actions, and how the world now doesn’t look much different from the world before he came back. 

Katara shouts at him. Shouts that Aang is the Avatar, that he came back to save them, to save this world. 

The mayor lowers his head and with acid on his tongue asks about all the people who died while Aang was gone, those who continue to die each day as he travels to train. 

They fly away after that, all stony-faced as they feel the breeze fly past them. 

That night by firelight, Aang comes to her. 

“Katara, am I failing these people?” He whispers. 

She looks at him, looks into his eyes and she can’t shatter his heart. She can’t break his spirit any more than it already has been broken. 

She pulls him into a hug and says, “No, Aang. You are trying your hardest. You are the Avatar; most people will never understand the burden that you carry.”

The next day, they continue flying among the ruffles of white in the sky. Sokka is the first to see it. The plume of smoke coming from the east. They last Appa at a safe distance as Katara and Aang rush into action. Sokka yells from Appa’s saddle to try to stop them but they don’t hear him, they don’t care either. 

They work to put out the fire and they are successful, but they are too late to save most of the village. As the people gather to thank them, Katara notices something about them. Many have deep tans, but their eyes are sparkling gold. Her eyes widen when she realizes that it is a mixed village like Gaipan. 

The villagers tell them that Earth Kingdom soldiers burned the town. They told the villagers that if they liked fire so much why not live in it. 

They leave afterwards, continuing onwards not sure where to turn. 

*

The confrontation in the abandoned village frees them from Azula’s shadow. 

They continue on, unbound and unburdened. They come across a man in a valley playing a sad song on the erhu. The four of them sit and listen. 

“What is your name?” Aang asks. 

“I used to have one, but it is not worth mentioning anymore.” The man says. 

“Where are you from?” Aang questions. 

“A country that used to exist but doesn’t anymore. It is a dead place with dying people and only a few of them know it.” The man says. 

“You are Fire Nation.” Aang says with a look of understanding in his eyes. 

“How could you tell?” The man raises an eyebrow. 

“The song you played; I know the person who wrote it. It is a song of longing for a past that will never return.” 

“Yes. I will play this song until this world changes, until this age of darkness ends, until I have a country again.” The man sighs. 

Later she turns to Aang. “Aang, how did you know that song?” 

Aang speaks in a hushed tone, “I— I wrote it. Or a past life of mine did. I don’t remember which one of my lives but I remember being a woman, who loved plums, and would always fuss over her hair. It was long and soft. I remember a man but not his face; I just remember how he made me feel. I remember watching families die and sinking a warlord’s island into the sea. Then I remember going with the man and living together in peace. We had a son.” 

She listens and remembers that Aang is a teenager, but he is an ancient soul, who has lived a thousand lives and done a thousand things. She wonders what it would be like to live like that. To have feelings and memories in your head that aren’t yours, to have thoughts and fears that are someone else’s. One life is a burden enough, thousands of lives are unfathomable to her. She squeezes Aang’s shoulder, her resolve strengthened to remain at his side for as long as he needs her. 

Sokka half-shouts across the fire. “I know where we can go. A place where no one would ever think to look for us. The Fire Nation!” 

“The man said it’s dead.” Toph replies indifferently. 

“Some say this whole world is dead.” Sokka states. 

*

The Fire Nation is beautiful, from the way the sea hits the shore to the air and the flowers. She doesn’t understand how they could ever want more than what they already had. She wishes that it wasn’t, that it was dark and cruel like what must be in their hearts. 

Aang kisses her for the first time in the Fire Nation under a maple tree. 

Katara now sees that his feelings run deeper than a crush. She is not sure what to feel or say so she just smiles at him as he places a panda lily in her hair. 

They start to enjoy the Fire Nation. It is strange, terrible almost that in the land of their enemies they feel more at ease than they have in years. 

They travel through the islands, Sokka finds a master, she finds a mission, and eventually they all find a survivor. A survivor who is a destroyer, a victim who is a menace. 

Hama brings them back to the reality that this is a war. That people are living in between life and death, destruction and creation, hate and love. 

She doesn’t know how she does it but she convinces them. Convinces them all to help Hama, to take her back to the South Pole, to return her to their people. That she’s suffered enough and caused more than enough suffering in return. 

They do not speak to Hama on the journey to the South Pole. They ignore that she is even there. Katara feels a chill from just breathing the same air as her. She hates Hama, she feels the hatred deep in her bones. But she also feels the loss, the loss of who she once was and who she could have become. 

Aang takes her hand and kisses it. “Katara don’t worry. You are nothing like her. You are kind, loving, and sweet. You are not capable of being like her.”

She wants to scream that she could be, that sometimes she even wants to be. She wishes she could find the man who killed her mother and tear him apart from the inside out. Katara smiles gently at Aang and thanks him. She wishes she could share her thoughts with him, but he does not understand darkness, he doesn’t have it in him. She supposes that a son of heaven would never truly understand a daughter of the sea. The waves can be cruel in ways that the wind can never imagine. 

When they reach the South Pole, she cries. She cries longer and harder than she has for some time. Katara wraps herself in the furs in her Gran-Gran’s igloo as her Gran-Gran sings her a lullaby to calm her. She doesn’t know what came over her. Her Gran-Gran whispers that she must feel the pain, the sadness, and the fear but let it drift away like a stream. That it cannot sit in her heart like still water but must run through her. 

The next day, she tells them everything about Hama, about her experiences, the things she’s done and still could do. 

The elders resolve to help Hama, to accept her back as one of them. Katara knows she made the right choice, but it doesn’t make her heart feel any lighter. She says a prayer to Tui and La for Hama’s victims and their families. She says a prayer for Hama herself, that she finds comfort from being back home. 

Katara notices things, she just does not notice them as quickly as other people do. She knows this so when she sees the lingering looks between Malina and her dad, she wonders when this started. 

She still isn’t sure if she even likes Malina. She is a Northerner through and through. Malina always makes comments about the differences both small and large between the sister tribes. Katara finds it annoying, her dad finds it endearing. When she tries to speak to Sokka about it, he brushes her off, content with sharing stories of their travels to the tribesman. Toph is totally disinterested in the matter and Aang spends time going penguin-sledding and throwing snowballs with the children. 

Katara pushes this to the back of her mind. By the end of the week, they will be headed towards the library. Within the next two months, her dad will return to Chameleon Bay to join the warriors already stationed there. Malina plays a small role in all this and will continue to. 

*

Katara feels the heat of the midday sun against her back as she walks through the upper ring. Momo chatters in her ear as she goes over it all in her head. She made sure to get meat dumplings for herself, Sokka, and Toph, while getting leek dumplings for Aang. She also got some mangos and bananas but has to hide the bananas from Momo, so he doesn’t eat them all on his own. She also stopped by the dress shop to pick up their formal clothes for dinner at Nobleman Boqin’s house. 

She sits in her room, looking at the plush rabaroo toy Aang got her at the zoo the night before. He told her he loved her, that she meant more to him than anyone else in the world. She loves Aang, she truly does. The Avatar and the waterbending master. The boy and the girl who freed him. Everyone expected it so it just became reality and she never tried to stop it. Aang deserves this, right? His people are gone and he has the weight of this world on his shoulders. If his love for her helps him make it through the war and save the world then she will stand at his side until the end. 

She hears the door slide as Toph walks in. 

Toph sits across from her and says, “This is wrong.” 

Katara immediately knows what Toph is talking about. 

Katara sighs, “No it’s not.” 

Toph enunciates her words as she says, “You are lying to him.”

Katara turns towards her and tries to assure her friend. She firmly says, “I just want to help him.” 

Toph sighs, “This is not the right way, you know it isn’t.” 

Katara slumps her shoulders and hesitantly says, “What is right, Toph? This is the only thing I know to do. I don’t want to hurt him.” 

Toph declares, “You’ll hurt him anyways. The way you are picking will just take longer.” 

Toph exits the room soon after, leaving Katara alone with her thoughts. She knows she is helping Aang, she calmed him in the desert, she keeps him from falling into low spirits. But she wonders how long she can keep this up. 

*

Aang is different after the desert. Appa is gone and they all can see the tension in his body movements. He looks more earthbender-like- sturdier and less free. 

They go around Ba Sing Se, pleading their case to the nobles. The city is not straightforward, they cannot just go see the king, they must work their way up to him. So, they climb the ladder towards him by gaining more allies at each step. 

This involves attending parties, festivals, plays, and concerts. Aang is a hit among the upper-ring crowd. The people are smitten by him and of course they would be. His unique looks, his stories of a long-dead world, and his bending tricks are captivating. 

She stands beside him holding his hand, dressed in the finest Earth Kingdom robes but she is still often ignored. The Avatar’s companion is just that, a companion. Occasionally, Aang does not introduce her and when he does it is often as his girlfriend Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. Not his sifu or as a master bender. She tries to take it in stride because the attention span of these nobles is limited, and time is of the essence, but it still hurts to not be acknowledged properly. 

Toph and Sokka are less forgiving of Aang’s slights. He spends more time discussing the zoo he created then he ever does the war effort. They think he is afraid of it. Afraid of himself, of what he must do. They ask Katara to speak to him. She knows that Appa’s kidnapping broke something in Aang. Appa was the sole connection he had to the old world, to his people, and now Appa was gone. Instead of gliding in the air, Aang was falling. She feels that it was not their job to quicken the fall but to help support him any way they can. 

Toph blows her bangs out of her face and Sokka gestures wildly but she will not budge, not on this. So, things continue on in the same way. 

The parties, the galas, and the festivals continue except now they are trying their hardest to run circles around the Dai Li. 

They make their way to the King, they find Appa, get rid of Long Feng, and it all feels perfect. Everyone is where they need to be. Sokka is off to Chameleon Bay, Aang to the Guru, Toph to her mother, and Katara is in the city coordinating with the Council of Five. Things are finally falling into place for them. It was perfect until it wasn’t. 

She finds herself alone in a cave of glowing crystals. The day started off so well. She went to her meeting then she decided to try the new tea shop but Momo ran off in the other direction chasing a kite. By the time she caught up with him it was time for her meeting with the King. 

She shudders thinking of how Princess Azula and her friends had taken over the city and now they all were at risk. She prays that her family, their rag-tag group, is safe and Aang does not fall into whatever trap the princess has laid out for him. 

She turns when she hears the sound of a blast and runs to hug Toph and Aang. The three of them are trying to make their way out of the caves when it happens. 

The fight, the Dai Li, the princess, the lightning. 

She remembers it all, every second of it.

Aang lives but his injuries are serious, and the great city has fallen. 

*

She returns home but the place she finds is nothing like her home. There are elaborate buildings, columns, fountains, a busy open-air market. There are people, more people then she’d ever thought she’d see. Her father and the Elder Council had worked hard over the years to convince all the villages to move to the new city. 

She will walk through the city, see the sights, and meet the people but her first priority is Aang. 

They place him in the healing hut. Katara has to be forced away from his side by Gran-Gran to rest, to trust the other healers to care for him. She only leaves out of exhaustion. 

When she sleeps, all she sees is the glow of lightning and the face of the one who killed Aang. 

*

She missed all of it. Her dad’s wedding, his election as High Chieftain, Master Pakku and Gran-Gran’s wedding, and the opening of the bending school. 

She sits in his home. She watches her dad and his wife share blushful glances like they are school children. She listens as Sokka and her dad go on about tearing this structure down and rebuilding that structure in this specific style. She watches the Northerns come and go with their suggestions and veiled insults. She listens to Master Pakku and Gran-Gran speak about all the waterbenders they found in the inner villages. She watches and listens but finds she cannot take any more of it. 

She approaches her father in his office. He sits behind his desk, leaning in towards her. His voice is soft and calm as she talks to him. 

“I can’t stay with you.”

“What?”

“I mean, I can but I don’t want to.”

“Katara, what are you really saying?”

“I’ve already arranged it. Toph and I are going to live in an igloo outside of the city. It’ll be better that way.”

“It sounds like you already made up your mind.”

“That’s because I already did.”

He doesn’t try to dissuade her because he knows he cannot. He just kisses her forehead before she leaves and helps her move her stuff to her igloo. 

*

“I know I make you deeply uncomfortable.”

Silence. 

“I know you hate me.”

Silence. 

“I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you, once again, for bringing me home.”

Silence.

“Please, I-- I want to teach you.”

“Haven’t you already taught me enough?”

“No, not that. Nothing like that. I want to continue teaching you the style that my masters taught me. Southern style bending. Please, you cannot let our culture die with me.”

Katara relents. She begins training with Hama, continuing to learn how to be more aggressive and offensive in her movements. 

She smirks when she realizes something. The Northern style is defensive, strategic. They lived the way they bended, they protected themselves and their way of life behind their walls. 

But the Southern style is aggressive, like their people. That is why even after the raids, they continued fighting on with a smaller population and limited resources. That was the only way they knew how to live. 

*

Sokka pulls her aside after she rallies against the changes in a council meeting as wisps of cold air hit their cheeks. 

“What are you doing? Do you know how this will impact dad?” He cautions. 

She replies, “What about our people? Our way of life? If I wanted to live in the North, I would have stayed there! This isn’t our home, Sokka!”

Her brother covers his eyes with his hand. Then he whispers, “Spirits, Katara! You should know that home is not a place, it’s people! Home for me is you, Dad, Gran-Gran, Gran-Pakku, Toph, Aang, Suki, Momo, and Appa! It doesn’t matter what it looks like, just as long as they all are safe, I am happy!”

She fights back tears as she tells him, “I’m not like you, Sokka. This place used to remind me of mom. Now it doesn’t, this place doesn’t remind me of anything anymore.”

Sokka whispers, “I’m sorry, Katara.”

“I’m sorry, too.” She whispers back. 

*

She eventually finds some sort of balance in the city. She meets with those living outside of the city and shares their concerns with her father. Many of them feel the same as she does. 

She trains with Pakku, Hama, and then she trains her students. 

She sits with Sokka and Toph, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. When they feel constrained, they all take Appa above the clouds, just to remember what it felt like to fly. 

She visits Aang for daily healing sessions. She prays to Yue, Tui, and La that Aang will wake soon. The world needs him to wake soon. 

She feels settled into life, safe even. That all shatters when Malina runs into the healing hut telling her that a man in her father’s office is claiming to be Prince Zuko. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the Katara chapter you have all been waiting for. I hope this explains certain things about her behavior and attitude. If anyone has any questions, concerns, or constructive criticism about this chapter please let me know! Thank you to everyone who has left comments, kudos, and bookmarked this story :)


	10. the friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are said and plans are made.

**chapter nine** : the friends

“Can you repeat what you said? I must have not heard you correctly.”

“ _Your_ dear old grandfather is having tea with _Zuko_ as we speak. The invitation was not extended to me.” 

Sokka starts choking on the seal jerky he was chewing. “Gran-Pakku and jerkbender alone together!” 

Almost as an afterthought, Toph adds, “Your grandmother is going to be there too.” 

Sokka flails his arms and starts to get up in an attempt to exit the igloo. “Toph, you left our Gran-Gran with Prince jerkbender!” 

Toph brushes her bangs out of her face and puckers her brows, “You act like Pakku wouldn’t freeze his insides if he even thought of hurting your Gran-Gran.” 

“Fine, I guess you are right.” Sokka huffs and sits back down. 

Sokka twiddles his thumbs, Katara pushes her braid over her shoulder, and Toph taps her foot. 

“So...where is Momo?” Sokka asks. 

Toph rubs her brows gently with her fingers, forming and dissolving the creases. “Sleeping at the inn. He loves those kids, they spent all day dressing him up in different outfits and watching him chase the dog.” 

Katara frowns slightly, noting that she has been so busy with her students and Aang that she hasn’t taken the time to play with Momo. She thinks that it is good for Momo to be around children. 

“Now, can a girl get a drink here?” Toph exclaims holding her palms outward. 

Sokka takes out some ice wine from a crate and slowly pours three cups for them. 

Sokka takes several sips from his cup. “Okay, I brought the wine which means I get to talk without any interruptions until I finish what I have to say. Deal?” 

“Deal.” Katara says rolling her eyes. 

Toph waves her hand and takes a sip of the wine. “Whatever, Snoozles just start talking.” 

Sokka begins gesturing wildly with his hands as he rambles, “So let’s talk about the other day, it was absolutely insane! Prince Zuko shows up, the premier jerkbender...okay maybe not premier. I would put his batshit crazy sister, father, and Zhao, may he die a thousand deaths, ahead of him. So he shows up and acts like we are idiots and are just going to believe anything he says. Then he takes us to meet his son and I was like okay... what does that prove? Other than that he can procreate… good for him I guess but it’s not like most people on this planet don’t have kids! I mean his son seems pretty smart, he really likes maps and I think maybe- Anyways, then the trial happens and he and Master Hama are going back and forth and the tension is sky high.”

He turns to Katara, “The elders ignoring our suggestion was pretty shitty on their part like why even ask for our opinion if they weren’t going to listen to it.” Sokka’s eyes widen as he exclaims, “But then Aang came in and stopped everyone. Like holy shit, Aang wakes up from his coma and decides that Prince Zuko is worth saving!” 

Katara sets down her cup and leans in towards her brother. She slowly says, “Sokka, you do realize that Toph and I were there for everything you just described.” 

Sokka responds, “Yeah but what does it all mean?” 

“What...does...it...all...mean?” Katara asks. 

Sokka continues, “What I’m trying to say is that now that we have had some time to process...are we going to talk about the elephant-rhino in the room? What the fuck happened with Aang!” 

Katara cups her chin and fixes her eyes on her brother. She firmly says, “Sokka, that...that wasn’t Aang.” 

Toph contorts her face and sneers, “Why? Because he defended Zuko who you hate and Aang would never do anything to upset you?”

Sokka pouts,“La’s fins! What is going on with you two?” 

“Nothing, Sokka! And no that’s not what I meant. The voice, the presence...it wasn’t Aang. At least not the Aang we know.” Katara shouts. 

Toph smiles and leans back on her arms. “Well, whoever that was...they were a total badass. Everyone in the meeting was scared shitless.” 

Katara sharply turns her head towards the younger girl. “Toph, you sound like you want that to happen again.” 

Toph raises an eyebrow and sits up. “Maybe I do! It’s been boring around here with Aang sleeping. But ever since Sparky and Firefly showed up they’ve brought some excitement.” 

“Sparky and Firefly?” Katara questions. 

“Zuko and his kid. Shouldn’t that have been obvious?” Toph rests her chin on her hand. 

“I’m sorry...I just didn’t think you were close enough to him to give them nicknames. “ Katara says carefully. 

“Well...I am,” Toph asserts. 

Katara is hesitant, unsure of how to reply. Toph seems to really care for the Fire Nation Prince and his son. In a short period of time, she has developed a bond with them and seems almost protective of the pair. Katara doesn’t know what this new development means. 

Katara stutters, “I don’t know what to say.” 

“Well, don’t say anything. You should be used to that by now.” Toph snaps. 

“Okay, seriously what is going on here?” Sokka blurts out. 

“You have got to be joking, Snoozles!” Toph exclaims. “I don’t know what you guys will or won’t do anymore. I was so sure that one or both of you would have said something to help him, to sway the elders but you both just sat there and were going to let him die!” 

Sokka crosses his arms and in a low voice says, “He didn’t die, Toph.” 

“Because of Aang. Neither of you had any hand in that.” Toph says sharply. 

Katara and Sokka are silent, pensive. 

Toph continues, “Aang needs to learn firebending, we can’t win without it.” 

“He doesn’t need to learn it from him.” Katara snaps. 

“He does, Sugar Queen! There’s no one else but Zuko.” Toph exclaims. 

“There’s Jeong-Jeong.” Katara retorts. 

“Who?” 

Sokka counters, “Come on Katara, Jeong-Jeong is a ghost, we would never find him.” 

Katara narrows her eyes at her brother. “Then who do you think should teach him?” 

Sokka is resolute as he says, “I don’t think he should even learn firebending! We are attacking them during the eclipse, why even bother learning something he doesn’t need to use?” 

“A fully realized avatar needs to master all the elements, Sokka.” 

“Well, he can worry about all that after we win the war.” Sokka looks over at Toph. “How do you think your _friend_ would react if he found out we were planning to invade his home?” 

Toph firmly states, “Zuko would understand, he just wants this war to end.” 

“He also wants the crown that he thinks he deserves.” Katara states. 

Toph sighs. “Someone has to take over after Aang defeats the Fire Lord. It’ll be good to know the leader of the Fire Nation isn’t insane for once.” 

Katara crosses her arms and looks over at her friend, “I don’t like it, Toph.” 

“You think Zuko likes it?” Toph yells. 

Katara scoffs. 

Toph lowers her head and speaks in a harsh tone, "The other day, you said he shouldn’t have come here with his kid. Don’t you think he knows that?” Her voice softens as she continues, “He wouldn’t have brought his kid to this place unless he had no other choice! Something happened to him that made this his only choice. He’s a firebender, even if we were all best friends, this place would still probably feel pretty uncomfortable for him. Not even counting the war, this place isn’t really meant for outsiders.” 

Katara is silent, taking in what Toph said as she sips her wine. Toph is right, what parent would bring their child to a place where they would be hated and ridiculed. A place where they are feared and isolated unless that was the only thing they could do. Her stomach drops as the guilt begins to overwhelm her like rough seas in a storm. Gods, she’s horrible, how could she say such a thing to him. She closes her eyes and reminds herself to just follow Gran-Pakku’s advice. Maybe then the storm inside her will quiet. 

Sokka notices the change in mood and the words tumble from his mouth in a rush, “Uhhh...okay. Let’s talk about something else.”

Toph says sarcastically, “Sure Snoozles! I would love to hear whatever you want to talk about!” 

Sokka smiles with flushed cheeks, “Are the seaweed noodles at Hanta’s place really world famous?” 

*

Zuko raises his body temperature to adjust to the harsh bite of the polar nights. He walks alongside Master Pakku and looks up as the pale crescent moon shines in the night sky. 

The two of them enter an igloo, the only igloo in the actual city and Zuko feels the gentle warmth on his cheeks from the fire inside. 

He sees an older woman and she feels familiar to him. He freezes once he realizes who she is. 

Pakku either does not notice his distress or does not care to comment on it. The older man turns to Zuko to make introductions. 

“Prince Zuko, this is my wife, Elder Kanna.”

Zuko stammers and clears his throat. “Hello Elder Kanna. I first must apologize for my past actions. I was a lost child then but that is no excuse. I am deeply sorry and thank you for welcoming me into your home.” He knows they do not bow here but he cannot help but slightly bow his head in deference. 

Elder Kanna smiles at him, not just with her mouth but her eyes. “Prince Zuko, thank you for your apology. I also would like to apologize on behalf of this community for what happened to you. That was not who we are,” she pauses, “at least that is not who I hope us to.”

Zuko rasps, “Please, ma’am. It is forgotten.”

Zuko knows that she does not fully believe him but she does not press him on it either. 

Zuko sits with them in their home drinking his green tea. Zuko can tell from the floral aroma that the tea came from the Xishaan Mountain region, a popular variety of tea among their customers in Ba Sing Se. He watches as Master Pakku bends the tea from the pot into his cup. He notices that Elder Kanna shakes her head slightly but she smiles as well. 

Zuko speaks in a hush tone, “In my culture when you are invited for tea you bring a small gift.” 

He hands her the gift and Kanna looks up at him in wonder. “Oh, thank you. This is absolutely beautiful.”

She turns to her husband and hands him the gift. “Pakku, dear look. It is a sketch of the town square.”

She looks back at Zuko, “Where did you get this?” 

Zuko quickly replies, "I didn’t get it anywhere, I drew it by my own hand.” 

Her eyes widen, “You drew this yourself?” 

Zuko’s cheeks tint slightly under her gaze, “Yes, it didn’t take me long. It was just a quick sketch.” He rubs the back of his neck, “I probably should have spent more time on it to get the details right.” 

Kanna firmly says, “Do not be modest, you are quite skilled.” 

Zuko blush darkens, “Thank you, ma’am.” 

The three of them sit comfortably as Kanna asks him questions about Jinhai. Zuko becomes animated as he talks about his son’s love of stories, games, and his favorite subjects in school. 

“How long were you traveling?” Pakku asks. 

Zuko replies, “I was traveling from Ba Sing Se with my son for nearly two months.” 

Kanna soothes, “Oh, you poor thing. I’m very sorry. You are very strong to deal with so many hardships in a short period of time.” 

Zuko blinks several times and feels like all the air has left the room. His voice waivers as he quietly asks, “What are you referring to?”

“Losing your wife.” 

Zuko whispers, “H- How could you tell?” 

She leans in towards him and gently places a hand on his wrist. “Every time you began to mention your son’s mother you stopped yourself. Your gestures and look remind me of my son after he lost his wife. We all grieve differently but some things remain the same.” 

Zuko puts his cup down and locks eyes with the older woman. He pleads, “Please do not tell anyone else this. I do not wish for anyone’s pity.” 

“Yes, of course.” Kanna replies firmly. 

Kanna then tells Zuko stories about Sokka and Katara’s childhood. He hears about the first time Katara bended water and Sokka’s desire to be a brave warrior. These stories feel too intimate; he is already unwanted in their home, an outcast and a former enemy. He does not deserve a glimpse into their precious memories. He understands why their grandmother is sharing these things with him; he shared information about Jinhai with her but it is not the same. Katara and Sokka’s people never invaded Ba Sing Se, they never had Jinhai living in fear. Zuko has faced her grandchildren in battle, chasing them across the world yet here he is sitting in their grandparents home listening like he is some old friend of theirs. 

Later after the conversation has lulled and a new pot of tea is being boiled, Elder Kanna makes her goodbyes. “I’m sorry, I must be on my way. I must go to the healing hut to check on our very special patient, Avatar Aang. Good night, Zuko.” 

“Thank you, ma’am for the company and the great tea.” 

After Kanna leaves Pakku brings out a pai sho set. “Would you like to play a game of pai sho?” 

Zuko sharply says, “Look, I know you didn’t invite me to talk about my son then play some pai sho! From your message it is clear that you know my uncle. Now what do you want from me?” 

Pakku takes a sip from his cup and puts it down on the floor. He looks up at Zuko with clear eyes, "For a man raised in court, I expected different of you. I expected you to be more like your uncle. Though I cannot say I am entirely displeased by your bluntness. Your uncle at times exasperates me.” 

“How do you know him?” Zuko queries. 

Pakku raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. “Do you know how your uncle discovered lightning redirection?” 

“He studied with waterbenders.” Zuko says flatly. 

Pakku lifts his chin and smugly states, “No, he studied with _a_ waterbender- me.” 

Zuko arches his eyebrow. “You?” 

“Yes, he came to Agna Qel’a and I was given the unfortunate task of chaperoning him after an incident.” 

“An incident?” 

Pakku lets out a breath. “Yes, your uncle was seventeen and this was only his first major diplomatic trip. Iroh danced with one of the noble girls at a party and would come up with outlandish ways to distract his attendant so he could spend time with her.”

Zuko shakes his head, not at all surprised by his uncle’s behavior. 

Pakku continues, “Iroh when confronted said that there was nothing improper going on, that he was learning Northern culture and habits from her. For Iroh that meant kissing under bridges and in alleys. So for the rest of his trip, he was either in the palace meeting with the Chief or training with me. It took him weeks of study to discover the technique to redirect lightning.” 

Zuko covers his face in embarrassment. “Oh gods. Uncle’s youthful escapades are something I avoid hearing about if I can help it. Did my grandfather ever hear of the incident?” 

Zuko remembers that even in his old age, Uncle remained Grandfather’s favorite. Iroh could do no wrong in his eyes. 

Pakku half-laughs. “Of course not. I believe your grandfather was on a campaign at that time expanding the colonies.” 

Zuko shudders, reminded that his grandfather and uncle spent most of their lives on the backs on komodo-rhinos conquering territory in search of glory. He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Well, um thank you for the story, it was enlightening, truly. But again I must ask what do you want from me?” 

“How will you survive as Fire Lord if you do not learn to indulge people a little?” Pakku queries. 

Zuko’s eyes go hard and he replies in a sharp tone to the old master. “When I am Fire Lord, I will be too busy providing indemnification for the war and shifting our national industries from wartime to peacetime to worry about pleasing the petty nobles of my court!”

Pakku smirks slightly. 

Zuko sighs, “Master Pakku, just tell me what you want from me.”

“For now, Prince Zuko, all I want is a game of pai sho with the nephew of an old friend.” 

Zuko sees a hint of mischief in Pakku’s eyes as the master points at the board and asks, “Now, Prince Zuko are you willing to play a game?”

*

The lunch rush has finished and Zuko is fixing the wooden chairs and tables in the dining area. The daily routine of the restaurant helps him, snuffing out the worries and fears that could overtake him. The aromas and sounds remind him so much of their shop in Ba Sing Se, of his uncle and Jin. He can almost imagine his uncle here in the restaurant with him. Uncle would probably enjoy sitting in the back room coming up with different blends and pairings or walking around town meeting new people. 

He smiles slightly, thankful that his uncle’s affableness has given him another ally in Master Pakku. 

“Prince Zuko?”

Zuko turns quickly to identify the voice. He softens his stance when he recognizes the figure. “Chieftain, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

Zuko starts to hear his own heartbeat as he watches Chieftain Hakoda bow before him. 

Zuko straightens his back stiffly. He speaks to the Chieftain in a gentle voice, “Your people do not bow.”

Hakoda voice waivers, “But your people do. I am begging for your forgiveness. I’m ashamed of what I’ve done, of what I allowed to happen.” 

Zuko lets out a breath and approaches the Chieftain. “Spirits, please get up. You do not have to do this. What I said came to pass. The gods did judge you.” 

Hakoda stands up to look at Zuko, with slight confusion in his eyes. “That was the Avatar not the gods.”

Zuko replies in a hoarse whisper. “Is the Avatar not a god? He has shrines all across the nations. His enemies cower in fear while the devotion of his supporters never waivers.” 

Hakoda is silent and listening intently so Zuko continues, “The Avatar is just a god that chose to live amongst us mortals. To grace us with their presence so that we could worship them up close.” 

Hakoda furrows his brow, “Do you truly believe that?”

With his eyes fixed on Hakoda, Zuko answers honestly. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.” 

Chieftain Hakoda bites his left cheek, considering deeply all of the prince’s words and actions. 

Zuko, unnerved by Hakoda’s pensive silence, stutters, “My apologies, Chieftain Hakoda. Would you like some tea?” 

Zuko and Hakoda sit down across from each other, drinking their oolong tea in the quiet afternoon.

Hakoda’s tone is neutral as he tells Zuko about his family. “My ancestors had been head chieftains for generations. Then my great-grandfather Chieftain Tuktu declined Azulon’s treaty, then the raids came and the people lost faith in our family. The clans split back apart into villages and we all went our separate ways. Some entire clans moved to the North and others abandoned our ways all together for the Earth Kingdom.” 

Zuko hesitantly asks, “Why are you sharing this with me?” 

Hakoda looks downward into his cup into the swirls of bronze liquid. “Just to tell you. So you could see that it is not you, exactly, that many hate.” 

His stomach is churning with disgust and fear. Jinhai would have been an orphan to satisfy their misplaced desire. A meer child, having to bear the cost of their anger and pain. It is not right, just, or fair. 

Zuko’s eyes narrow to crinkled slits and his hands shake slightly as he clenches them, unable to calm himself. In a rough voice he says, “But it was me who your people were going to kill! It is my son who would have been left fatherless! Not Azulon’s sons, not any of the Raiders’ sons, mine!” 

“I’m sorry, I truly am. If there is any request that you have, within reason, I will grant it.” 

Zuko pushes his hair out of his face. He looks at the Chieftain in the eye and firmly says, “I wish to learn from you.” 

“What?” Hakoda asks with furrowed brows. 

Zuko’s voice is steady, “About this community, how it operates, and what the needs are.” 

“My people hate you.” Hakoda declares. 

Zuko’s face remains neutral as he responds, “Many of my own people hate me. I am used to being hated.” 

Hakoda wonders how such a young man could be so familiar with scorn. Even as he was sentenced to death by the elder council, he looked fearless. It doesn’t make sense for the Fire Nation prince to be hated by his own people, to have lived in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se, and to be accepted as the Avatar’s sifu. He sees tension and sadness in the prince’s eyes; most of his movements seem to be deliberate like he thinks deeply about the reception of his acts and words. He can tell that there is some story behind all this but he doubts the prince would tell him even if he asked. “But still your request is quite strange.” 

Zuko holds Hakoda’s gaze, “Ba Sing Se was not built in a day. I do understand that many in your community wish death on me and my people but if I hide in the inn then nothing will change. In the future our nations will have to develop a relationship again. I wish to start now, if possible.”

Hakoda takes another sip of the tea then asks tentatively, “Was it difficult?” 

“Was what difficult?” Zuko asks, unsure of what Hakoda is asking about. He wonders if Hakoda is as perceptive as his mother, if his grief is so evident that he wears it like a cloak. 

Hakoda speaks earnestly, “You are choosing to help the Avatar, to fight against your family, your people, and everything you were taught. It must have been extremely difficult.” 

The Prince’s voice is low and hoarse, “No, it was the easiest decision I’ve ever made. I’m not fighting against my people, I’m trying to save them. To get us back to what we once were and could be again.”

Hakoda gives the prince a slight nod and takes another sip of his warm tea. He considers that maybe just maybe he’ll see this war end in his lifetime. 

*

The twins have been teaching Jinhai about Harbor City. They categorize things in the city in terms of good and bad. 

(Good: penguin-sledding, cotton candy, Full Moon Festival

Bad: Auntie Ashuna’s seal jerky, Siku and Taqtu, sewing lessons)

They have taught him how to make snow angels, snowmen, and forts. They also made sure that he knew not to eat the snow that was already on the ground. 

Jinhai laughs as Cupun and Siqiniq run after him for throwing snowballs at them. He ducks behind the corner of a building and waits for his friends to catch up to him. He notices that the twins haven’t caught up with him and looks over to see them talking to two boys. 

He narrows his eyes and walks closer to hear what they are talking about. 

Siqiniq asks, “Siku and Taqtu, what do you two want?”

The boy with the wolf-tail scowls, “Look, it's the double dorks! What are you doing out here, don’t you have dishes to clean?” 

Cupun hisses, “Shut up! Siku, we are playing! Last time I checked, anyone can play outside!” 

Taqtu sneers, “Shouldn’t you be busy with your fire boy, you traitors?” 

“Yeah, my dad said it’s only a matter of time before that kid and his dad hurt your family. Have fun being burned alive!” Siku taunts. 

Jinhai gnashes his teeth in anger and runs over to his friends. He shouts, “Hey! Leave them alone! Do you know how lame you both are?” 

The two boys flinch at Jinhai’s appearance but compose themselves. Taqtu raises an eyebrow. “Oh, it’s _him_! The fire breather.” 

“Fire breather? Is that the best you can come up with?” Jinhai almost smirks. They don’t even know that being a fire breather isn’t an insult, it's an honor. Only the best firebenders like his dad and grandpa can do it. 

“Ashmaker.” 

“Heard it before.” 

“Dragon breath.” 

“Heard it before.” 

“Dark spirit.” 

“Heard it before.” 

“Fine! Dirt boy!” 

“Dirt boy?” Jinhai snickers. 

Siku stutters, “Yeah, your eyes are kind of green so I guess you are a dirt boy.” 

Jinhai shakes his head and decides to say something his mom had told him always worked on bullies. “Keep talking, maybe one day you’ll say something smart.” 

“Why you little twerp!” The older boy reaches forward to grab Jinhai and Jinhai readies his body to dodge his hand. 

“Hey! What’s going on here?” The children all turn and see Sokka walking towards them. 

The two older boys straighten themselves and move away from Jinhai. Taqtu falters, “N-N-N-no-nothing, Warrior Sokka. We were just getting to know the dirt boy.” 

Sokka’s eyes narrow and his voice is firm, “Jinhai, his name is Jinhai. When you talk to him or about him you will say his name.” 

“Uh, of course Warrior Sokka. We’ll see you at training tomorrow.” Siku says nervously. 

Taqtu quickly says, “Bye... _Jinhai_.” 

The boys hurry off into the distance. 

Jinhai turns to Sokka and exclaims, “I had that handled! I didn’t need your help.” 

Sokka puts his hands on his hips and looks down at him. “You didn’t need my help? Those boys are almost thirteen!” 

“My dad taught me how to defend myself, okay!” Jinhai replies quickly. 

Sokka raises an eyebrow, “With bending, right?” 

Jinhai’s eyes widen and he slowly asserts himself. “Bending? I don’t bend. I meant self-defense.” 

Sokka’s tone is light as he asks, “You don’t bend?” 

Jinhai’s voice waivers but he maintains, “No, I don’t.” 

Sokka bites his cheek and like he only half-believes him says, “Oh, your family has some pretty strong benders.” 

Jinhai narrows his eyes and feels anger rising through him like a tide. His _family,_ he knows which family Sokka is talking about. He’s not talking about his mom or her parents, Grandma Hualing and Grandpa Guiren. No, Sokka means his _aunt_ and the _grandfather_ his dad never mentions. He hisses, “You are just like the other people here.” 

Sokka leans towards Jinhai with his hands in his pockets. His eyes are soft and voice is gentle when he asks, “What do you mean?” 

Jinhai turns away from him. “I’m half Fire Nation, people here don’t like that.”

Sokka’s voice is steady and smooth, “Forget those people. If they judge you without getting to know you, they are wrong and aren’t worth worrying about.”

Jinhai turns back towards Sokka and looks at him with hard eyes. “Isn’t that how you’ve been treating my dad? Whenever we walk around town with Hanta’s family you always look at us but never say anything.” 

Sokka’s eyes widen and he stammers, “That’s different!”

“No, it’s not!” Jinhai exclaims. 

Sokka puts his hand on his forehead and lets out a breath. He softly says, “Look, kid. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you wouldn’t understand.”

Jinhai retorts, “You think I don’t know him; I do! It’s you who doesn’t know him, and you don’t even want to try!” He begins to walk away from Sokka.

“Kid! Hey kid! Wait please!”

Jinhai stops walking and waits for Sokka to catch up to him. His shoulders hunch as he looks up at the warrior. 

Sokka humbly states, “You are right. I’m sorry. I was judging your dad when I don’t know anything about either of you. But maybe that can change.” 

Jinhai furrows his brow, “What are you asking?”

“Can we be friends?” Sokka asks hesitantly. 

Jinhai scowls at the man but then he remembers his mom. She always told him that everyone deserves a second chance to prove themselves so he’ll give Sokka a second chance for her. 

Jinhai’s face softens and he replies firmly, “I guess we can be friends.” 

Sokka grins. “Good. Well, since we are friends now you and your friends get to meet another friend of mine.” 

Sokka walks with the three of them towards the stable. On the way they bump into his sister, Katara. Sokka introduces them all and they walk with her. 

Katara beams at the children. “So, did you all have fun today?”

“We did until Siku and Taqtu started bothering Jinhai for being Fire Nation.” Siqiniq states matter-of-factly. 

A pinched-faced Jinhai whisper-shouts, “Siqiniq!” 

Siqiniq sheepishly replies, “Sorry, Jinhai but she asked.”

Katara’s face softens and she speaks to Jinhai in a gentle tone. “It’s not important what people say about us. It’s only important what we know inside about ourselves. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I do.” He smiles and says, “You sound like my dad when he’s trying to sound like my grandpa.”

Jinhai watches Katara and Sokka share a look but they don’t say anything further to him about it. He wonders what they know or think they know about his dad and grandpa. 

Katara and Sokka open the stable doors and usher the children inside to meet their friend. Jinhai did not expect their friend to be a giant fluffy animal. The animal is big, probably the biggest animal Jinhai has ever seen but he looks friendly. 

Siqiniq and Cupun both shriek with glee as they take in the bison while Jinhai continues to look up in awe. 

The three children blurt out their questions. “What’s its name? Is it a boy or a girl? What kind of animal is it? Can we pet him? How old is he?”

Sokka replies quickly to each question. “Appa. Boy. Flying Bison. Yes.” He furrows his brow and frowns slightly, “I actually have no idea.”

Jinhai with bright eyes looks at Sokka, “Can you take us flying?”

Sokka immediately replies, “Sure!”

Katara jabs her brother in the rib with her elbow and shoots him a hard look. She softly says, “Jinhai, you would have to ask your dad for permission first.”

The child pouts, “He’s not going to let me. He’ll say it's dangerous.”

Katara puts her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, your dad only wants you to be safe.”

“I know.” Jinhai sighs. 

“You know what you can do?”

His eyes seem to glow as he looks up at Katara. “What?”

Katara grins, “You all can help me brush him.”

The three children grab brushes from the floor and rush to start brushing the bison. 

*

Katara runs into the training room to see Master Hama sitting on a wooden stool, swirling a globe of water in her hands. 

Katara hesitantly says, “Master Hama, I apologize for my tardiness.”

Hama looks up at her student and with arched lips says, “Ah, here you are. I was wondering when you would show up.”

Katara is silent as she and Hama pass a globule of water back and forth. 

“How is the princeling?” Hama asks quietly. 

“The princeling?” Katara queries. 

Hama replies in a neutral voice. “I just wanted to ask about his adjustment. Little dragons are not bred for the snow.”

Katara’s heart leaps into her throat as she drops the globule. She makes sure her voice is firm when she speaks. “Stay away from him, Hama.”

Hama’s steely eyes peer into Katara’s ocean eyes. “And the father? Will you stay away from him?” 

“What are you talking about?” Katara asks between clenched teeth. 

Hama’s voice is deceptively light but Katara can see the darkness in her eyes. “The tribe is growing but in many ways it is still small. Katara, did you really think no one saw you go into the restaurant to talk to him?”

 _(Hama wouldn’t hurt a child. Hama wouldn’t hurt a child. Hama wouldn't hurt a child._ ~~_Hama wouldn’t_ ~~

_Hama would. Hama would. Hama would. Hama would. Hama would.)_

Katara feels bile burning in her mouth. Her eyes darken like a raging sea and her voice is taut with anger. “You forget that I know what you are and I am stronger than you. I don’t know what you are thinking and I do not care to know either. What I do know is that you will stay away from him and his son.”

“Of course, Katara.” 

Katara reforms the globule of water and throws it back to Hama. The older woman is pushed back by the force but gently passes the globule back to Katara. The two continue passing it around in tense silence. 

*

Zuko and Jinhai are sitting in their room sharing some kale cookies as they talk about their day.

Jinhai’s eyes are alight with excitement as he tells Zuko about how much fun he had playing with the bison. 

“Sokka and Katara are really nice! They showed us how to brush Appa and told us his favorite foods. He likes moon peaches just like I do! Dad, are you listening?”

Zuko focuses on Jinhai’s eyes. “Of course I am.”

“Then why do you look worried?”

Zuko sighs, choosing his words carefully. “Jinhai, I love you very much. I want you to be safe. If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable here, no matter who they are, let me know.”

Jinhai’s voice is light as he says, “Dad! I told you they are really nice. The Avatar and Toph like you, shouldn’t that make Sokka and Katara your friends now?”

“That’s not how it works, buddy.” 

“Why not?” 

Zuko has his doubts. He is not even sure the Avatar likes him. That presence, that voice, those glowing eyes...that was a spirit not a man. Who can say that the Avatar will not just wake up and decide that he doesn’t want Zuko as his sifu, that he has no use for him. But the words were spoken with such conviction that Zuko finds himself returning to them when he has doubts. Whether it was the spirit or the man or both, a part of the Avatar trusts Zuko. And until the Avatar wakes up, that is enough for Zuko. His Water Tribe companions on the other hand are a different story. He understands their hatred for him, he does. But if they hate him, why spend time with his son? 

“Well, I haven’t really talked to them yet.”

“Aren’t you meeting with their dad? Maybe you can talk to them then?”

Zuko smiles softly at his son. His boy is so kind, always wanting everyone to get along. If Jinhai thinks that one day Zuko can be friends with Hakoda’s children, he will not tell him otherwise, at least not until he has to. Zuko pats Jinhai's soft hair. “Maybe buddy, maybe.” 

*

Zuko knocks lightly on Toph’s door. 

Zuko hears Momo chattering as Toph slides the door open. 

“Hello, Toph. Can I come in?” He asks. 

The two of them sit across from each other in their simple blue tunics and pants enjoying their warm tea. Momo is nestled in Zuko’s lap, enjoying his body heat. 

“Do you trust them?”

_(Wow, Zuko! What a stupid question! Of course she trusts them, she's their friend. She has been their traveling companion for years!)_

Toph tilts her head quizzically. “What?” 

He clears his throat. “My son, he likes Katara and Sokka. I don’t want him to be hurt.” 

Toph seems to be listening intently so Zuko continues speaking. 

He firmly asks, “Are their motives for talking to him pure? Are they trying to use him for information?” 

“Sparky, you have to be a psycho to use a child to get dirt on someone.” 

In the months before Lu Ten’s death, his father would sit him or Azula on his knee and ask questions about what they might have overheard from the court nobles. Then he would get them mango ice cream from the kitchen. He and Azula would rush to finish their ice cream to avoid their mother finding out but somehow she always knew. 

“Honestly, they just like the kid. He’s great.” Toph declares. 

Zuko half-smiles, “He is.”

“Sparky, you don’t have to worry about them. They’ll come around eventually.” 

“You believe that?’

“I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this chapter yesterday and wasn't really happy with it. So after getting some feedback, I decided to revise it. The new title fits the new content of this chapter. I switched some scenes around from future chapters and put them into this chapter and pushed some scenes back so they could occur in the future. I hope that now the story will flow better. I will be taking a break because I have some exams coming up soon, so I will probably begin posting regularly again in two weeks. Thank you to all the readers! Shout out to those who take the time to leave comments, kudos, and bookmarks.


	11. the tribe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past is never dead. It's not even past. - William Faulkner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all might hate me after this chapter. Sorry.

**chapter ten** : the tribe

Fifteen-year-old Crown Prince Azulon turns his gold eyes skyward. The boundless blue is high above him but also against him, touching his face with its softness. He prefers the sky to watching the Southern Water Tribe grow smaller as their ship gets further and further away from it. If he did not see the place with his own eyes, he would not have believed it existed. The isolation, the bareness, and the biting snow, that would stay with him. Why would an entire people choose to live like that, so utterly unashamed of their pitiful existence? It troubled him. 

Azulon feels a warm hand on his shoulder and turns to see his aunt clad in a thick black cloak. Her voice is rich and smooth, “My Prince, do not trouble yourself with those people. I would feel sorry for them if they were not so pathetic. The Northerners were right, they are simple-minded and backwards. They are a people who will be forgotten and have no desire to fight against that. Only a chosen few can truly see and appreciate the new world that we are building. Forget this, forget them.”

He cannot. He will not forget their half-dead chieftain with his protruding bones and sagging skin. The pained look in the man’s pinched and dull eyes as he refused to align his people with theirs. A shaking and hoarse voice exclaiming that there is no Avatar in the South Pole and even if there were one, they would never give them up to the Fire Nation. The Southerners had lived in isolation for so long that they no longer understood the ways of the world. They knew not that the age of earth, if it had ever existed, had long passed, and the age of fire was just beginning. 

His shoulder is squeezed gently; his aunt is still standing next to him. She moves her manicured hand from his shoulder to link arms with him. “Come now, Azu. Let’s go have tea and speak of happier things. Your mother wrote to me about the preparations for your return celebration. You will be expected to give an address to the court, that cannot be helped but I’m sure someone will brighten your mood afterwards.”

Azulon turns his head towards her and catches her sly smile. “And who is that _someone_ , Aunt Xifeng?”

Xifeng’s amber eyes sparkle as she whispers, “Ilah.”

*

As crown prince, he was accustomed to existing on the periphery. Azula was the favored child, adored by all. He was the disappointment, the child that bepuzzled the court. What Zuko learned through books and Uncle’s stories, Azula learned at father’s side. The one opportunity he was given to prove himself as crown prince spiraled into the events that make up his current reality. So when Chieftain Hakoda told him to wait outside his office as he consulted his council, Zuko readily obliged. He had long since learned that there were places and things one did not need to see or hear. The tribe had made their feelings about him well known, he did not need to hear them again. 

His present circumstances could easily lend a person to despair. He was alone with his son, living amongst those who hated him. Hated him for what they were reminded of when they looked into his gold eyes. But he was head-strong and difficult; bucking against anything and everything that did not align with what he wanted for himself. He had gone from the palace to the sea to the walls of Ba Sing Se and now found himself in the Southern Water Tribe. He will expose himself to contumely and rejection. Not for himself but for Jinhai. There is a better world than this one, just waiting to be born. He did not believe in it, not until he first looked into his newborn’s eyes on that cloudless spring day. For Jinhai, he will make that world become a reality. 

*

The men all regard him with wariness. They keep their distance from him as they work, whispering things to each other. It does not deter him, he continues on, completing every task they assign to him with efficiency. They can doubt his blood but not his work ethic. 

The sun is high above their heads as they travel towards the outlying villages. As he is about to enter the settlement with the other men, the tribespeople change their mind, no longer wishing for him to enter their homes. _Dark spirit_ , they call him. If he truly were a spirit, he would not choose to be tethered to a place like this. Hakoda begins to argue with them and Zuko watches. He watches their faces contort in anger and is made weary by it. He says he will wait by the sled; the men stare at him, this is the first time many of them have heard him speak. Around them, he is half-shadow, he does not argue or react, just follows instructions silently. Only Hakoda and his bond-brother Bato dare speak to him and those conversations are brief. It is not an unfamiliar experience, he has been half-shadow for a long time and finds some comfort in not being truly seen. So he sits in the sled, tapping his foot against it until he feels a burst of snow hit the back of his head. He turns quickly, narrowing his eyes until he finds the outline of two children hiding behind a half-built igloo. 

Languidly, he moves towards them and crouches down. With a soft smile on his face, he speaks to them. “Hi, my name is Zuko. What are your names?”

He hears a small voice reply, “My name is Batu and this is my sister Qadan.”

He listens as they describe their favorite foods and games. In turn, he tells them Jinhai’s favorite Water Tribe snacks and games. Their wide blue eyes look him over with wonder. They are quite young and he is likely the first outsider they have ever seen. Batu blurts out,“Are you a spirit?” 

A hearty laugh leaves the firebender’s lips. “No, little one, I’m a man. I’m made of flesh and blood like all others.” 

The boy and his sister share a look of utter disbelief. Batu leans in closer to him and declares, “But your skin is so light? You look like snow!” 

“Yes, I guess I do,” Zuko replies with mirth. 

Qadan takes a step closer to Zuko and points at his eyes. “Your eyes are really shiny!” 

Zuko flushes under the children’s examination, “Thank you.”

They tell him to wait and run off, returning with some friends. A group of about seven children begin peppering him with questions. 

“Do other people look like you?” 

“Yes, a whole country of them but many are tanner. Some have eyes like mine but most have other colors: amber, brown, and grey. Some even have green eyes.” 

“Do people have blue eyes in your country?” 

Zuko remembers a trip that he took with Uncle to the outer islands. They had passed by a rice field and there was an old man working. He was an ordinary-looking man, the only thing distinct about him was his blue eyes. Uncle told him that long ago, before his grandfather Sozin's time, groups of waterbenders would migrate to their nation. When he returned home to Caldera and told Azula, she dismissed it as a lie immediately, saying that _Zu-Zu_ probably couldn’t tell the difference between grey and blue. 

“A few, I think.”

“Maybe they are Water Tribe like us!” 

“Perhaps.” 

That is where the other men find him, sharing stories with the children. He wonders if they think he should feel embarrassed but he does not. He has long preferred the company of children and animals to adults. 

On the way back to the city, Zuko sits next to Hakoda. With his eye on the powdery sea, he breathes in the crisp and cool air. The silence is broken by the older man, who looks over at Zuko with a twinkle in his eye. “You are good with children.” 

“I have a son,” Zuko replies plainly. 

“That’s not why. Not everyone with children is good with them,” Hakoda remarks after a slight pause. 

Hakoda sees something flicker in the firebender’s eyes as the younger man softly says, “I know.” 

*

Katara pushes loose strands of hair out of her face as she helps form the ice structures for the community center. Sokka and Malina stand at the distance, comparing the structure to the designs. The community center project had been long in the making. Katara had spent days and weeks consulting with the elders like Gran-Gran and Hama to finalize the designs. Sokka preferred to stay as far away from Hama as possible and she could not blame him. Hama was extremely particular and difficult; her words were ice daggers and she used them liberally. Particularly at Malina for being a delicate _Northie_ , unaccustomed to difficulties. Gran-Gran was the peacemaker, refocusing the conversations to the task at hand. 

She lets out a breath, happy that her interactions with Hama are now confined to bending practice. She can tolerate Hama, the bending master, but she cannot tolerate Hama, the respected elder. Elder Hama that tells tales around the fire and weaves baskets with the other women who laugh at her jokes. Few in the tribe know that Elder Hama is an illusion, a mirage of land in the distance. Katara knows this and yet she still finds herself drawn to her and the knowledge that she possesses. She tells herself that she is using Hama, for what she knows, that it is her who has the power in their relationship not Hama. So why at times does she still feel like she is contorting and twisting to Hama’s will? She focuses on the task at hand, shifting and forming the ice. _I have the power_ , she says to herself even if a part of her does not believe it. 

Afterwards, she walks with Chu through the open air market. Katara likes the younger girl well-enough, she is a dedicated student, someone who Katara sees parts of herself in. As they purchase some seal jerky to eat, the boisterous market suddenly turns silent. She looks over and sees Zuko and his son, the firebender turns his head slightly, making eye-contact with her. Whether it was a reflex or a purposeful movement, she is unsure, but just as his golden orbs look into hers, he tightens his hold on his son’s shoulder. 

Chu is speaking about one thing or the other. (Pakku...upper level forms...two of the Northern girls just got engaged...Auntie Ashuna’s inedible jerky)

The words are muddled; she feels as if she is underwater and Chu is far off on dry land.

She is focused on one thing- a movement, a gesture- that she isn’t even sure she was supposed to see.

_(Who was it for? What did it mean?_

_Was it a gesture of comfort for himself and his son? Or was he reminding her of her threat, of who would truly suffer if she went through with it?)_

“Katara, are you okay?” Chu asks, her voice no longer muddled and distant but clear and strong. 

Katara contorts her lips into an awkward toothy smile, “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

*

Zuko wipes the sweat off his brow as cuts wood for the framework of one of the new buildings. Once he is finished, he stacks the wood in neat piles and goes to sit on a wooden crate, eating seal jerky and drinking water. 

It started out with little things. They would move his pack further away from where he placed it. Or they would throw out his water. Once, they even hid his dagger under a soft pile of snow. He knew it was one person doing it and he had his suspicions but no proof until now. As he walks back to the work site, he sees Iqiak knocking over his pile of wood, the wood he had spent hours stacking. Without even thinking, he runs up towards Iqiak and gets in his face. The young warrior is bulkier but Zuko is taller and leans down to glare at him. Zuko pushes the man to the ground, clenches his jaw, and says, “Fix it, Iqiak.” 

The man brushes the snow off his pants and laughs. Iqiak stands up and declares to the group, “You’ll have to make me, ashmaker!” With a smirk on his face, he taunts Zuko as one of the other men hands him his club. The young warrior passes the club between his hands and says, “I’ll even let you firebend.” 

The firebender looks around and sees the other men have stopped working entirely, watching and waiting for him to explode. He knows what he wants to do- _break Iqiak’s nose_. He also knows what he should do- _fix the wood pile._

_Jinhai_ , he thinks.

(He pictures Jinhai smiling and laughing)

Zuko walks towards the pile of wood and begins to fix it, focusing on memories of Jinhai, not the hostile men around him. 

Iqiak scoffs and asks, “What would your dirt whore think if she saw you now?” 

Zuko doesn’t even think before he unsheathes his swords and begins to turn towards Iqiak, he pauses when he hears the crackling of bone. When he turns, he sees Iqiak on the ground with his blood drizzling in the snow, and Sokka standing over him. _Sokka_ , he didn’t even notice him in the crowd. Sokka was there the whole time and knocked Iqiak out. 

The crowd disperses, most of the men returning to work as two of Iqiak’s friends carry him to the healing hut. 

As Sokka approaches him, Zuko tilts his head at the young warrior. 

Why? Why would Sokka do such a thing? Out of the two siblings, Sokka was the one who seemed perfectly fine with Zuko being sentenced to death. But then he remembers something. He looks over at Sokka and asks a question even though he already knows the answer. “Why did you do that?” 

“I did it for Jinhai,” The warrior says firmly. “Iqiak’s a son of a bitch. Just an all around piece of shit. Always has been and always will be.” 

Zuko is silent so Sokka continues rambling. “I’ve been wanting to punch him for years, anyways. I mean, if you had done it, the elders would be asking for your head. You and Jinhai don’t need that shit.” 

Zuko nods and rubs the back of his neck. He whispers, “Um, so what will happen to you?” 

“Me? Absolutely nothing,” Sokka says with a shrug. 

“Thank you,” Zuko says plainly, an understanding growing between the two men. An understanding that will only grow and deepen over time. 

Sokka looks downward, shifting his weight to his other foot. With an earnest but hesitant look in his eye, he asks, “Uh, so are we cool?” 

Zuko nods and Sokka holds out his arm for Zuko to clasp; the significance is not lost on Zuko, this is how tribespeople greet their friends. Zuko clasps Sokka’s arm firmly and the tribesman smiles. 

It is somewhat amusing to Zuko that Sokka’s acceptance of him mattered more than the Chieftain’s. But it makes sense to him, Hakoda the Sea Wolf is half-legend and is the bridge between elder and youth. Sokka has a legend, the boy who loved the Moon, but the men see him as a brother not a father or uncle. 

Sokka teaches him about the tribe, how they value community not status or power like the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation. Sokka and the other men tell him tales of harpooning whale-walrus as they sleep on the sea ice; they speak of the bladder dance after a large hunt; they share their memories of a shrunken and toothless woman who died last spring, the oldest women of their tribe, a woman who was grown with grandkids when his grandfather Azulon visited their tribe. They teach him how to mix roots with seal fat to combat hunger on a hunt; they show him their ivory knives and look in awe at his pearl-handled dagger. 

Sokka takes Zuko to the communal men’s house. Before Zuko enters, he pulls Sokka towards him, “Why am I here? Is this not a sacred place?”

Sokka whispers, “You are my friend and there is a bet involving my father and his bond-brother.”

Sokka explains how Bato and Hakoda from their youth could stay in the bathhouse for hours longer than any other men of their tribe. He tells Zuko how men would travel from far off villages to try to prove they could beat them but they could not. 

Zuko listens to the story but questions what it has to do with him. 

Sokka laughs heartily and says, “The men of the tribe all want to see how long they can last compared to a firebender.”

In the bathhouse, the teenagers sit crouched on the floor near the bonfire while the men sit on tiers of benches. Only the strongest men dare sit on the top bench with the intense smoke and heat. Zuko, Hakoda, Bato, and a few others sit on the top. Sokka, knowing his limits, sits on the tier below. 

Zuko listens as the men share tales of the sea. The firebender can hear a warm rumble in his mind, his uncle’s voice, almost as if he was right at his side.

 _The sea is in our blood just as much as the flame,_ his uncle had often told him. 

Many of his memories involve water. Swimming in the sea of Ember Island, sitting by a pond in the palace, and the lull of the waves as he fell asleep in the hull of his ship. 

He is of the flame, the sun, and the heat. His ancestors were dragons, sages, and warriors. It was fire that birthed his people; their passion, resolve, vigor, and might was nurtured by it. But it was water that connected them to each other, that allowed them to nourish themselves and grow from loosely connected islands into a nation. 

At times, his home in the Fire Nation feels like a half-remembered dream but the sea is present in his mind and heart. These men, their peoples, they all lived under the same sun and sailed under the same starry skies. They mapped the same charts and were guided by those same stars. They could have been kin as they once were in the days of old, before his great-grandfather bathed the world in blood and fire. He will see that those days return, he vows it in his heart. 

Zuko watches as the men leave the bathhouse one by one, some even having to be carried out. Eventually it is just him and Hakoda sitting alone continuing to breathe in the choking smoke and the heat. Zuko feels the heat but only very mildly but to non-firebenders this would be a furnace. He is impressed by Hakoda’s endurance. 

The chieftain’s skin is clammy and his eyes half-lidded as he speaks to Zuko in a hoarse voice. “In front of the elders, you did not fear death, why?”

Zuko pauses and replies, “I haven’t feared death for a long time. It comes to us all. I just fear suffering and not for myself but for my son.”

The chieftain is semiconscious but continues speaking. He quietly says, “I’m sorry for everything and for Iqiak. He is an arrogant boy not a man. Not like you. I… would like to meet your son’s mother. Your son is a good child, a good woman birthed him.”

Zuko smiles as tears stream down his face. He looks over at Hakoda and only because he believes the man won’t remember, opens his heart. “She is dead. She was taken from me. I miss her every time I breathe. Do you understand?”

The older man whispers in a gravelly voice before he passes out, “Yes, I do.”

Zuko puts Hakoda’s arm over his shoulder and carries the chieftain out of the bathhouse. 

A crowd of men stand around waiting with Sokka at the front; they just stare at Zuko as some of them take Hakoda to his home. 

A man starts stammering, Zuko recognizes him as Hakoda’s assistant Panuk. “Could you not take it anymore?”

“No, I could have stayed in there all day.”

“What? How?” 

Zuko smirks and makes a joke, “You see, in the Fire Nation, that would be winter.”

*

Jinhai sits at a distance, listening as the warrior class learns about the establishment of the tribe. Sokka describes the types of people that left the North Pole and his ancestor, Kanaaq the Quick, who established the first settlement. 

He copies their movements as they learn how to swing their arms and tilt their wrists.

Later at the inn, he copies the movements in the backyard, his arm cutting through the cold air. He turns when he feels a hand on his shoulder. It is Hanta holding a wooden boomerang; the two of them sit on the back porch and talk. Hanta tells Jinhai about how his father helped him carve the boomerang and because he has no sons, he wants Jinhai to have it. The young boy hugs Hanta and returns to practicing his swing. 

He watches the class from a distance for two more days before Sokka approaches him.

“Hey, kid,” Sokka says with a soft smile. 

“Hi.”

Jinhai is silent, waiting for Sokka to continue.

“Do you want to join the class?”

“Sure!”

Sokka’s grin gets wider. “Great, that’s great.” 

Jinhai watches as the man bites his cheek. “Wait, you have to ask your dad first.”

Jinhai sighs because he knows exactly what Zuko will say. He nods and turns to walk back towards the inn. 

He finds Zuko where he usually finds him, with the tea. Jinhai sits on a stool in the backroom watching his dad rearrange the tea pots and pans. Zuko sighs and pushes stray inky hairs back into his low ponytail. 

“Jinhai. I-- I would want you to join. I mean, I really do but I don’t think I can let you.”

The boy pouts, swinging his legs. “Why not?”

Jinhai watches as his father softens his eyes and leans in towards him. “Cupun and Siqiniq told me about those boys. It's my understanding that they are in the class as well.”

A loud sigh is let out by the child. He furrows his brow and declares, “So what?”

Zuko gently places a warm hand on Jinhai’s shoulder. “I don’t want there to be problems. A lot of people here are still not comfortable with us.”

Jinhai pushes his hair off his forehead and looks up at his dad. “But you go and work with the men? If you can do it, why can’t I?” The young boy asks.

Zuko stumbles over his words, “Jinhai, that’s different.”

“Why?” Jinhai presses his father, asking in a hard voice. 

The firebender runs his hand over his face and turns away from Jinhai, placing his hands on the counter. He half-whispers, “Because you are my son, okay. You are my son.”

Jinhai bites his lip, confused. All his life, his father has taught him how to be brave. How to stand up to bullies and not let anyone stop you from doing what you want. But here, now, Jinhai sees that his dad is scared. Why? Jinhai is not sure. The boy scoffs, “I thought you wanted me to be brave?”

Zuko starts laughing, awkwardly. “Brave? I want you to be safe and happy.” He adds, “This isn’t Ba Sing Se,” like Jinhai didn’t know that. 

“I know, Dad.”

“I want you to have fun here but I have to keep you safe. Kids can be really mean, especially to those they feel are different. I won’t let you suffer anymore, I couldn’t bear it.”

Jinhai pleads with wide eyes, “Dad, what are you talking about? I’m not suffering! Just let me join, please!”

Zuko looks at Jinhai and his voice is firm. “Jinhai, no. I’m going to go fishing with some of the men soon, we can talk about it more when I come back. Make sure that you stay here and behave well for Sesi and Hanta. Is that okay with you?”

He doesn’t understand his dad. He used to be so different. His dad was brave, the bravest person in the world but now he’s letting these people, this place scare him. So Jinnhai says something, something he knows is mean, wrong, and unfair but he’ll say anything to get his dad to change his mind. 

Jinhai states,“Mom would have let me.” It’s true, Mom was always the one pushing Dad to let Jinhai try new things. Dad was more cautious, careful with him. 

He regrets saying it before he even finishes the sentence. His dad’s eyes darken and his shoulders slump. Zuko just stands there, pensive and shamefaced. Jinhai gets off the stool and quietly says, “Dad, I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone now.” 

Jinhai leaves the backroom and walks to the living area belonging to Hanta’s family. Sesi opens the door with a smile, ushering Jinhai in. He looks over and sees Amka braiding Toph’s long hair with shells and beads. He says hello to them but continues to Cupun and Siqiniq’s room. The two girls smile and invite him to play with their wooden stacking blocks. 

The twins tell him a story about a king with a stupid son and a clever daugther-in-law. He sits stacking the blocks and listening until he blurts out, “I thought you two were my friends.”

The girls look at him with open mouths and wide eyes. They first look at each other then at Jinhai as their faces contort in confusion. 

“Jinhai, we are your friends!”

“You’re our best friend!’

Jinhai knocks over the blocks and crosses his arms in front of him. “Really? Because in Ba Sing Se, best friends don’t tell their friends’ dads about every time another kid is mean to them.”

“But he asked!”

“You should have lied or said you didn’t know. That’s what friends do!”

“Jinhai, we are sorry. Next time, we won’t tell.”

Jinhai sighs and pushes his hair back. 

Siqiniq quietly asks, “Are you mad at us?”

Jinhai replies as he leaves their room, “I’m not sure. I’ll see you guys later.”

Jinhai runs up to his room and writes a letter to the person he wishes that he could talk to. He forms the characters neatly as he describes the tribe, his friends, Dad’s job, the warrior class, Appa, Sokka, Katara, and Toph. He writes about how much he misses her and how he wishes she could have been here with them. He sighs in frustration because he remembers that his dad has probably gone fishing by now. 

He takes the note and runs out of the inn. He walks past the open market, the community center, into an open area of snow and sparse trees. 

The boy stares at the letter and closes his eyes as he forms a small flame in the palm of his hand. 

_(It’s okay for me to bend. I’m just burning a letter. No one will see me. No one will know.)_

He watches the letter burn and whispers a quiet prayer to Agni as the ashes go off into the wind. 

He hears a crack of the ice behind him and turns to see Siku and Taqtu. 

Siku laughs and starts approaching Jinhai. “Wow! Dirt boy, you really are an ashmaker! We just called you that because of your dad but you are just like him and all those other monsters.” 

Taqtu smirks and says, “No one knows you can bend. The tribe only thinks your dad can do it. You two are liars.”

“Yeah, do your friends, the double dorks even know?”

Jinhai shouts, “Shut up!” He trips, not noticing that in his anger he started melting the snow. 

The older boys continue laughing and taunting him. 

Jinhai breathes, “Please, don’t tell anyone. I’m begging you.”

The two boys whisper to each other as Jinhai watches, anxious and afraid. 

“What will you do to get us to not tell?”

“Anything.”

A devious smile appears on Siku’s face as Taqtu snickers. 

They take Jinhai further away from the city. They walk for a long time in silence, Jinhai trudging behind the two older boys. He is on edge as his footsteps melt the ice under his feet. He resolves to be brave, to not let them see his fear. 

They take him to a bridge. It is long and seems old but the wooden planks seem sturdy. There is nothing else around, just the bridge to somewhere further away from the city. 

He whispers, “What do you want me to do here?”

“Cross it and then cross back,” Siku says plainly.

Jinhai stares at them then looks back at the bridge. It is so long, he can hardly see what is across it. All he can see is a bunch of tall trees. 

“Is it safe?”

Siku smirks, “Of course it is. All the kids here cross it. It’s a rite of passage. Once you cross it and come back, we know you are cool.”

Taqtu tugs on Siku’s parka, “Siku, are you sure-”

Siku elbows Taqtu to quiet him. 

“Go ahead, dirt boy cross.”

The firebender shouts, “Jinhai! My name is Jinnhai of Ba Sing Se! Not dirt boy or any other lame name you can come up with.”

Siku rolls his eyes, “Fine, _Jinhai_. Cross already.”

Jinhai lets out a breath and thinks about what his father, mother, and grandpa would do. They are all brave and strong. He starts to walk across the bridge. 

*

Zuko and Sokka are silent as their oars slice into the sea. Zuko looks around at the massive icebergs and bright sky. The sky is almost overwhelming; in the South Pole, it falls straight down to the ground like rain. 

He feels fragments of himself, fighting with each other, the conflict gnawing deep to the bone. He is a hypocrite and a coward. He does things but fears for Jinhai to do the same. What Jinhai doesn’t understand is that his life is different. This place, the South Pole, it is not like the Earth Kingdom. His people made lives in the Earth Kingdom long before the colonies. They lived, worked, and married Earth Kingdom people. When the colonies came, it just continued with more people intermarrying. Here, Jinhai is considered strange and people make dark and twisted assumptions about him. They wonder if he is a war child, if his mother was forced. And if she was not forced, she must have been a traitor to her people. They don’t understand that Jinhai was born of love, a deep and true love, a love that Zuko thought he would never experience. He will not let this tribe break Jinhai’s spirit before it is even built. If Jinhai resents him, so be it. It is the job of a father to protect their children from all hurt, harm, or danger. 

Sokka clears his throat. “So….I’m guessing you told Jinhai no.”

The firebender stammers, “How did you know that?”

Sokka bites the side of his cheek before replying. “You are like my sister. Everything you feel is written on your face.”

“What?”

“I mean, I know you are worried. The boys are not bad. They are kids. Kids who have heard untrue things from their families but can learn to be better and do better. That’s what I’m trying to teach them in our training.”

Zuko’s voice breaks, “Sokka, I can’t...okay. I won’t do it.”

Sokka nods and says, “I understand. I just-uh- please, think about it. We’ll be here for a while.”

Later, they return with their bounty and begin to separate the fish into woven baskets for the women to scale. 

Zuko looks up and sees a figure running towards them. He recognizes it as Amka and drops the basket and begins walking towards her. He feels his heart dropping into his stomach as if he already knew what she was going to tell him. 

As she approaches, he sees her wild hair and cheeks glistened with tears. The teenager whispers in a hoarse voice, “Zuko, I’m so sorry. I’m really really sorry. We-I-we don’t know where Jinhai is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so so sorry for the long break between chapters! Life caught up with me (job search, grad apps, etc) and another story kind of captured my mind for a little bit (locum tenens- please go check it out!). This chapter was like a puzzle for me, I had a lot of trouble figuring it out and I'm not fully sure why. (But now, I do know that if I had the time and skill, I would write a whole fic on the FN royal family.) I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and are still sticking with this story. I will be returning to a more regular update schedule. Thank you so very much to everyone who has left reviews, kudos, and bookmarked this story. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my first story would reach over 400 kudos :)
> 
> P.S. I hope everyone enjoyed Zutara Fanworks Appreciation Week!!! All the amazing creators are just killing the game! I love our community so much.


	12. Author’s Note

Hi, everyone! I just wanted to write a quick note. This story is not abandoned and I will be completing it. I didn’t anticipate this month being as busy as it was and I’ve been dealing with some writers block when it comes to this story. But I’ve found my inspiration again and I am working on this story. I am not sure when I will update it but it will be updated. Thank you so much for your support and I wish you all the best this holiday season!   
  


P.S. When I do update, this Author’s Note will be replaced by the actual chapter twelve. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have been a long-time Avatar fan. I remember being a child and being excited for new episodes of book 1(yes, I'm that old!). I've been obsessed ever since and decided that now, 15 years later, I should write my first Avatar story. Please let me know your thoughts!


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